


The Doctor and the Shadows

by ShaViva



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode: s04e08 Silence in the Library, Episode: s04e09 Forest of the Dead, Episode: s06e01 The Impossible Astronaut, Episode: s06e02 Day of the Moon, Episode: s06e13 The Wedding of River Song, F/M, Love, Night and the Doctor First Night, Night and the Doctor Last Night, River Song back story, Romance, The Shadows, Timey-Wimey, Vashta Nerada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-09
Updated: 2012-09-17
Packaged: 2017-11-13 21:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 63,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaViva/pseuds/ShaViva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River Song perished in The Library the day The Doctor met her ... or did she? He's a Time Lord with all of space and time at his disposal. Is it really that hard to believe he could do just a little better than that?  Post season 6 Eleven/River shippy story with Amy and Rory still there as the Doctor's companions.  Set just after The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe ... i.e. doesn't take into account the events of season 7.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for: to play it safe, everything up to the 2011 Christmas episode, particularly everything involving River Song, especially The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon; A Good Man Goes to War; Let's Kill Hitler; The Wedding of River Song; Night and the Doctor – First Night; Night and the Doctor – Last Night. Also BIG spoilers for Silence in the Library and Forest of the Dead.
> 
> Acknowledgements: to wikipedia and the Doctor Who wiki in particular where I always found something interesting when I needed it. If you see something familiar from old Doctor Who, that's where I found it. Also big thanks to drwhotranscripts dot blogspot dot com dot au where I went whenever I needed reminding on who said what when.
> 
> Disclaimer: I am unfortunately not associated in any way with the creators, owners, or producers of Doctor Who or any of its media franchises! All publicly recognizable characters, settings, equipment, etc are the property of whoever owns them. Any original characters, plot, settings, and anything else I made up are the property of me, the author. No copyright infringement is intended. Written purely for the love of Doctor Who.
> 
> Copyright (c) 2012 ShaViva

_Lake Silencio, April 22, 2011_

Under the depths of the lake the woman in the astronaut suit wept. She had just murdered the best man she would ever know, before she'd really had much of a chance to know him better. He'd saved her in Berlin when he'd whispered the equivalent of last words in her ear, but then she'd never seen him again.

_"When you find River Song tell her the Doctor loved her, always and completely.”_

Oh, the shock and the joy to discover that _she_ was River Song, the woman who would inspire so much feeling in such a man. She'd wanted to be that woman so badly she'd given up her remaining regenerations to save him, enough that she'd completely turned her life around in an effort to find him again.

She'd found him all right, after she'd been trapped inside the suit she had no control of, moments before she took away his life, twice over. He was gone at her hand and the grief was crushing. He'd given her no hope – her older self would see him fall and know there was no way to change it. How she'd wished one of those bullets had found her. She didn't want to be the woman who killed the doctor, and she didn't want to be the woman who would witness it all again in the future. She'd happily stay under the lake until her air ran out and everything went black, but like everything about the day, it wasn't her pulling the strings. She was just a passenger – the suit walked her across the lake floor to a secluded spot where Madam Kovarian and her Silence minions waited for her to emerge from the depths.

"Well done," Kovarian congratulated her _so_ smugly. River struggled in vain to take control of the suit so she could wipe the smirk off the woman's face. "The war against the Doctor is finally won."

"You're crazy if you think this ends here," River whispered, her voice thick with tears.

"You watched him fall and yet still you believe in your _precious_ doctor," Kovarian sneered. "Do you know what your parents are doing right now? They're _burning_ his cold, dead, body. Soon he'll be nothing but ashes sinking to the bottom of this very lake. A fitting end to the blight he smeared across all of space and time. You should be thanking us for removing him before his secrets destroyed us all."

River said nothing, but the tears trailing down her cheeks spoke their own story.

"Stop crying you foolish girl," Kovarian said impatiently. "Your purpose has been fulfilled. You're free to go." She threw back her head and laughed.

They took her back to the university from which they'd kidnapped her and she discovered the joke was well and truly on her.

"Doctor River Song," the man in a steel grey uniform greeted her with scorn in his voice and a laser pistol in his hand. Behind him stood a dozen others, all with the same weapons and the same expressions. She was less than dirt to them and they'd rather be anywhere else than in her presence. Since she felt the same herself she could hardly blame them. "You are under arrest for the murder of The Doctor. How do you plead?"

"Guilty," she whispered, the grief overwhelming her again. She'd have sagged to the floor if they hadn't taken her arms, one soldier on each side. She wished in vain that they had the death penalty – it was no less than she deserved for what she'd done.

"Then prepare for judgement," the leader intoned. "For so heinous a crime you are hereby sentenced to twelve thousand consecutive life terms representing the value and likely length of the life you have taken, to be carried out at the Stormcage Containment Facility."

River said nothing … she had nothing left and could do little but remain limp and lifeless as they dragged her away. Even the sound of Madam Kovarian laughing triumphantly in the background didn't stir her. The Doctor was dead … and so was she.

* * *

_Stormcage Containment Facility, River - Night 1; 908 year old Doctor – pre Lake Silencio_

She was drifting, hardly aware of anything around her, her mind still firmly back at that lakeside. She'd killed him … and she could hardly believe it of herself. The cruel twist of fate hurt more because she'd used up everything she had to save him once, leaving her nothing the second time around.

In her hands she held the TARDIS blue diary, its pages blank. Why had he given her the book if there would never be anything worthy for her to write inside it?

* * *

The sound was so faint that at first she thought she imagined it. When she realised it was real she shot to her feet, her heart racing. Before her the familiar blue box materialised until it was solid and real even though she didn't understand how it could be.

The door swung open by itself, urging her to enter.

Blue book clutched to her chest, River ventured forth uncertainly. "Hello?" she called, peering through the doorway.

"River!" the Doctor greeted her with a smile.

"Doctor?" she whispered, hardly daring to breath. He looked real, standing there in a white jacket and shirt, with a black bow tie standing out in stark relief. "How?" she got out before the lack of oxygen coupled with the rush of way too many conflicting emotions got the better of her.

It wasn't the perfect faint by any means and she'd feel the bruises when she woke up. Her return to consciousness was as abrupt as her exit, her eyes snapping open to see the Doctor hovering over her. She whimpered, her breath quickening again.

"Hey now, none of that," he told her, gently lifting her head and running his fingers over the back of her skull. "You gave yourself a cracking good hit but I don't think anything's broken."

"This is cruel, even for you," she whispered, her mind finally catching up with her heart. She noticed the telling details she hadn't seen at first. Mostly it was his eyes, so much younger, so carefree. The Doctor she'd killed hadn't been like that – he'd been old and tired and resigned to what he knew had to happen.

"It may seem that way," he agreed, "but really it's a kindness. Instead of spending the rest of your existence rotting in that jail cell alone you can spend your nights going on adventures with me."

"But ...," she frowns. "This means you knew, all the time, that I would be the one to kill you."

"It wasn't hard to work out," the Doctor replied. "I can't tell you any of the details because they relate to events you're yet to experience."

"I shot you," River said starkly. Uncomfortable with his proximity she pushed herself up, wavering for a moment before she steeled herself to stand, stepping back a few paces as she looked at him. "I shot you and I killed you and then I shot you again before you could regeneration. How can you bear to even be in the same room with me?" She didn't care about spoilers – they didn't matter when clearly he knew the worst truth, that she was responsible for his death, 200 odd years in his future.

"I stole your regenerations away in Berlin. I don't see how this is any different," he reminded her. "Do you know what I learned that day River?"

"No," she shook her head, looking away.

"I learned," he stepped closer, his hand to her chin raising her eyes to his, "that if it were in your power, there is no way you would ever kill me. You were just as much a tool as the weapon you used."

"I can't do this," River cried. "I can't look at you and know how this all ends."

"You can, and you will," the Doctor said firmly. "I can't leave you to live out your days here because of me. I can't River. This is the only way."

"My days in prison and my nights with you?" she repeated, letting herself believe that it was truly possible. "For how long?"

"For as long as you remain here," the Doctor promised. "You'll be a good girl, do what they tell you, help out where you can so that eventually you'll earn yourself a pardon. You won't try to escape. If you can promise me all of that then in return you'll get me and the TARDIS, for all the nights you’re held here. What do you say?"

"Yes," River said quickly. "Yes please."

"Your promise River," he insisted.

"Fine, I promise I won't try to escape, unless there's a very good reason and then I'll always come back," River proposed.

The Doctor shook his head, his lips twitching with a smile he held back. "I suppose that's the best I can expect. Very well," he agreed, holding out his hand.

River took it, shaking it firmly. The promise was made.

"I see you have the diary, that's good," the Doctor shifted topics abruptly. "From now on there are rules. You write down everything we do together. You and I, we're never in the right sequence. You put everything in the diary so we know where we are."

"So serious," River teased. "Who knew that could be so sexy."

" _River!_ " the Doctor protested. "This isn't a game and there's more at stake than you can possibly imagine."

She looked at him for a moment and then nodded. "I'll write everything down," she agreed.

"Good," he looked relieved. "But remember, you mustn't ever reveal anything that I don't have in my diary as well. Even if I ask you – if I _beg_ – you're not to let anyone else read that diary. Future events could be spoiled enough to create a time paradox – very dangerous things, those."

"Because we're not in the right sequence," River repeated. "Except we are this time?"

"For today, I suppose because setting the boundaries is important enough to circumvent whatever grand design has us travelling in opposites," the Doctor revealed. "After this any version of me will turn up and you'll have to be on your guard, and on your toes before you work out where I am in your time stream."

"I understand," she assured him.

"Good, then let's begin," he grinned suddenly, clapping his hands together. "Are you ready for your first adventure?"

"I've been ready for this for years."

* * *

_Stormcage Containment Facility, River - Night 5097; 908 year old Doctor – pre Lake Silencio_

"Let's see," the Doctor mused aloud. He'd taken to talking to himself since he'd dropped Amy and Rory back home for the last time. After what happened with the Minotaur he knew it was the right thing to do but he still missed them – especially the spaces they filled and the noise that accompanied their presence. "Taking into account good and bad behaviour and balancing out how difficult an inmate River will be against the likelihood they'll pardon her early, I'd estimate fourteen years. Fourteen years of nightly visits to cover. That's … five thousand two hundred and fourteen visits, give or take. Assuming I manage to get there once a fortnight on average, and converting into my timeline gives me … seventy three thousand days. I'll be … eleven hundred and three by the time River is pardoned."

Two hundred years. He'd need almost two hundred years to make it up to River before he could even think about keeping that appointment in Utah. He'd go to Stormcage as often as promised and in between he'd visit a few places, see some of the things he'd always promised himself he'd get around to, pay off any debts he felt he owed. He'd visit old friends too … maybe he'd save that for the end, when he'd be more ready than he was now to meet his fate. When it was done, when there were no more places to go, no more debts to be paid, when River was pardoned, only then would he make his last trip.

"So old girl, visit number two," he talked to the TARDIS with the pretence that it was a two sided conversation, as he always did. "Where should we take her, eh?" Manipulating the controls he took the blue box to River's cell, opening the door and peering out.

"Doctor," she smiled, already waiting outside her cell.

"River," he waved a hand, urging her to step inside. "What will it be tonight? Your choice."

"First things first," she said briskly. "Where are we at for you?"

"Early. Very, very early," the Doctor admitted. He held up his diary, the pages still pressed freshly together, like a book that had never been read. "Night two," he said, eying her uncertainly.

"Night two! Gosh! Look at you," she shifted closer, looking into his eyes. "You're so _young_ ," she touched a hand to his cheek. "I haven't seen you this young in a very long time."

"Does that count as a spoiler?" he joked.

"Since you know who I am and what I'm here for I think we're safe enough with vague references to how long it's been," she replied.

"I _could_ say that you on the other hand look mature, no _seasoned_ ," he began, "but I suspect you'd beat me to a pulp before the sentence was complete."

"Only two nights and you already know me so well," River teased. "While I might be used to it – you getting younger as I get older – there's nothing in the rules that says I have to like it." The smile dropped away from her face at the thought.

"Are you doing okay?" the Doctor had to ask. "Is this," he gestured between them, "what we're doing, is it okay?"

"More than okay," River assured him.

"Good," the Doctor nodded awkwardly. "That's good. I'm glad."

"So am I," she said with a secretive smile. He got the impression that she was laughing at him and that it was something he'd have to get used to. That and the flirting, which if he was honest, he'd always enjoyed just a little too much.

"Right then, so where to?" he looked at her expectantly.

"How about the Leisure Hive of Argolis?" River suggested, "before the bankruptcy of course."

"The Leisure Hive of Argolis," the Doctor mused. "Built by the surviving Argolins after their unfortunate but thankfully short war with the Foamasi."

"Their planet was all but destroyed during those twenty minutes," River reminded him. "That's more than just unfortunate."

"Depends on how you look at it. Those places that survived are truly remarkable in comparison." He spun his dials, flipped his levers and moments later landed the TARDIS with a grin for River. "Argolis, as requested."

"You do live up to your reputation," River complimented. She nodded towards the corridor. "I'll just go and get changed."

He nodded, watching her go and wondering just how long it had been for her. He suspected that like everything else, the feeling of wanting to know more and being thwarted was going to become all too familiar.

* * *

_Stormcage Containment Facility, River - Night 2607; 1003 year old Doctor – pre Lake Silencio_

River Song glanced at the clock and smiled. It would be nightfall in a few hours. If she were going to make it to the ruins and back before the Doctor arrived she needed to act soon.

Reaching into the bodice of her tank top she removed her lipstick, applying a generous coating just in case she needed it. When her guard approached on his lunch time rounds she was ready.

Lying on her stomach, she stretched her right arm though the bars, towards the disk that lay flat on the floor just out of reach. "Oh for God's _sake_ ," she cried, appearing oblivious to the guard's advance.

"Is there a problem here?"

She looked at the black boots now positioned in front of her disk and gave a frustrated sigh. "Just a small one, unless you can make my arms grow an inch longer." She looked up at him, blowing a wayward curl out of her eyes.

The guard's eyes narrowed – he wasn't new which meant he knew about at least one of her previous escapes and was now wary. It didn't matter, he did bend down to retrieve the disk which was all she needed.

"Thank you," she smiled, waiting until he was a few steps closer before she grabbed his arm and yanked him swiftly towards the bars. His head hit with a satisfying thunk – that should be enough to keep him out for a few minutes.

Pulling him closer, she grabbed the key device and unlocked her cell, taking the extra few moments to drag him inside and lock the door.

Rushing to the phone she tapped out a quick series of numbers, watching with satisfaction as a cloaking field dropped to reveal a small locker a few steps to the right. Pressing her thumb to the sensor and leaning down for retinal scanning, she grabbed the vortex manipulator as soon as the door swung open, being careful to reengage the cloak afterwards. No need to risk the prison discovering her hiding place. She'd find another one but that would be an inconvenience and would also put a dent in the reputation she was trying to cultivate – the prisoner who could not be contained, and who therefore _voluntarily_ returned. In the future, the trust that hopefully engendered would be of great value to her.

Snapping the device into place on her wrist, River took a moment to glance around and then activated the controls.

* * *

Of course, her trip to the Ruins of Mandigor didn't go exactly to plan, mostly because it was forbidden for anyone living to see them. She'd violated that with her unsanctioned visit and then preceded to take pictures of the text carved on the stones, _and_ obtain a sample of the rare metal they used to make their jewellery. She'd almost gotten away with it, but for one single guard looking left when she'd needed him to look right. Now, the only way to fix things to the Manigorian's satisfaction was for River to die, which wouldn't satisfy her at all.

_"The Ruins of Mandigor. Come quickly."_

She sent the message out there mentally, knowing the TARDIS would pick it up and transmit it to the Doctor through the psychic paper. He'd probably grumble for a bit and make a show of being reluctant to show up – thankfully he could take as long as he liked with all of that and still arrive just when she needed him.

River rounded a corner, a spray of bullets shattering the stone beside her head just after she ran past. Ahead, the air shimmered, settling into a special kind of blue. The door was already open and she dashed through.

"Nice timing," she congratulated the Doctor, catching her breath.

"Does it ever occur to you that someday I might not be available to answer one of these requests," the Doctor looked at her with a stern expression.

"Sometimes, but then I remember what absolute faith I have in you and it's full steam ahead," she approached, eyeing him carefully. It was always the beginning of their dance – trying to work out how old the other was; where they stood in their respective timelines.

"Does this constitute the day's visit?" he asked.

"So you know everything," she deduced.

"Everything important," he confirmed. "I expect after your exciting day you're ready for a quiet night at home."

She tried not to let it bother her, the times when his visits were too brief. He was a busy man. The fact that he turned up every day was practically a miracle. It shouldn't matter that sometimes his heart didn't seem to be in it.

"A girl needs her beauty sleep," she agreed, winking suggestively.

When they got back to Stormcage, she announced her return and the prisoner escape alarms switched off.

"I'll be off then," he said, hands in his pockets as he regarded her with a hard to read expression.

"Okay," she reached out and he took her hand, squeezing it fondly before trying to let go. River didn't like that … she'd never repeated that awkward scene where she kissed him goodbye and he reacted like he'd never seen her before. It always hurt, seeing him close but never quite close enough. Tonight though, she felt like they needed something, to remind them of what existed between them, what they each couldn't pretend away.

She tugged at his hand and he stumbled forward, just enough that she could wrap her arms around him and bring them together in a heated kiss.

He participated this time, more than he had the last, even though clearly he was still uncertain about what to do with his hands. She wanted it to go on and on forever but only moments later her guards approached, to make sure she was back in her cell where she belonged. River heard their footsteps first and tore herself from the Doctor's arms.

"You have to go," she told him urgently. It was her own rule, that he never be caught breaking her in or out of prison.

"So soon," he countered, staying where he was. "And it was just starting to get interesting."

"Now isn't the time," she hissed, exasperated that he'd choose so inappropriate a time to play games with her. "Just go!"

"Fine," his voice went huffy as he backed out of the cell.

"Don't forget to sonic me," she nodded to the still open cell door.

"I was quite willing to 'sonic' you," he complained, raising his screwdriver obediently and using it to reengage her lock.

"Don't be crude," she laughed suddenly, reaching through the bars and grabbing his lapels. He let out an oomph when she tugged him to her, kissing him as though the bars weren't there to keep them apart. "Although … I do enjoy a good sonic-ing."

"I bet you do," he laughed too, the humour of the situation finally striking him. "I hope this doesn't happen too often," he added.

"I hope so too," she replied, wondering when they'd find themselves once again at a place in time where a kiss between them was a possibility rather than something in her past and his future.

* * *

_Stormcage Containment Facility, River - Night 2; 1103 year old Doctor – pre Lake Silencio_

This was it, as far as he'd been able to work out. The when of every interaction he had with River was always a surprise to him. He'd tried in the early days to control it but always arrived outside his plans. Since he'd give anything to be able to line up their timelines he'd quickly worked out that the opposites in their relationship were not his doing. The only job he had was to set the TARDIS in motion and then go along with whatever River had planned.

Now, after so long and yet what felt like too suddenly here he was, arriving on the second night of River's incarceration. His diary was full – more than five thousand visits, some encompassing full scale adventures, others nothing more than a quiet meal and a chat. All the nights until her pardon, all used. There'd be one more encounter, he knew that much from what happened at The Library, but this would be the last time he picked her up from Stormcage.

"Doctor," she was so young, still taken with the novelty of a nightly visit from a Time Lord who spirited her away in his magic box.

"River," he took her hands, squeezing them. "You look well."

"And you look tired," she replied. "Aren't you getting enough rest?"

"I'm a Time Lord. We don't need as much sleep as you humans."

"So, what is it to be tonight?" she touched his forearm, looking expectant.

"Haven't you forgotten something?" he asked.

"Oh!" She laughed. "Of course." Dashing over to her bed, she picked up her diary and brought it back to him. It was woefully neat and tidy … the page edges all crisp, the paper still clean and white. It depressed him to look at it. "I assume we've done Calderan Beta – the planet of the Chip Chops?"

"A 400 foot tree growing out of the cliff top on the north side of a mountain in the middle of the sea," the Doctor offered. "We were there at twelve minutes past midnight on the 21st of September, twenty three sixteen."

"We rode the lift to the top and looked up," River sighed dreamily. "There were more stars in that one sky than at any other time in the history of the universe. You said it was brighter than daylight, a special, magic kind of daylight."

"The planet might be boring in all other respects but they do know how to put on a good show," the Doctor said.

"I'm not sure there's anything that could top that," River challenged.

"All of time and space and you think a few billions stars is the best thing on offer?" the Doctor's brow rose. "River Song, how much there is for you to learn."

"Lucky for us I love to learn," River gave him a cheeky smile, "especially with you as my teacher. I don't suppose you've got any private tutoring planned."

"You hardly know me," the Doctor pointed out.

"And I'm more than eager to correct that oversight," River sidled closer, running a teasing finger down the centre of his shirt.

"Now isn't the time," he grabbed her hands and held them firmly until she looked at him. He didn't need to say anything – she understood the unspoken communication. With a sigh she capitulated.

"One day you're going to deliver on the promise in all this flirting," she warned. Breaking away she almost skipped to the TARDIS door, glancing at him over her shoulder. "Sooner rather than later I hope," she added with a wink, before disappearing inside.

"Or never," he murmured sadly. That was the other thing about reverse time lines … the more he knew her and consequently the more he wanted her, the less she was ready for everything being with him would entail. At some point the tables had turned and she'd been the one to want more than he was ready to offer. Sometimes he wished he'd ignored his misgivings back then and taken what she'd offered when he'd had the chance.

Now they were at the last of his nightly visits – she'd been used as a weapon to defeat him and he'd done what he'd promised himself. He'd made it up to her. Once she was free, he would be too. The thought saddened him … he'd grown too accustomed to her being in his life.

All that was left was Darilium. The timeline for their first date had been in sync and it seemed that the timeline for their final date would be as well. Then his time would be almost up – it was the only thing that made what he knew would happen to River bearable. He'd shared as many days with her as were possible, and in the end he'd given her the closest thing to eternity. She'd go on, inside Charlotte Lux's world. In time she'd forget him, just as Charlotte had forgotten her origins. It was for the best.

There were a few loose ends he wanted to tie up, some questions he needed to answer. Perhaps they were just another way to delay the inevitable but he intended to see them through, just the same.

He had Darillium and then one last date with River – a date with death – and there was no way for him to be late.


	2. History rewritten

_1103 year old Doctor, post Lake Silencio_

Time was a harsh master. Not that anything was the master of the Doctor. No, he had the whole of time and space running through his head in a jumble. He _always_ saw the implications … whether he liked them or not.

Take River Song for example. The woman he'd met the day she died, before he knew what he would be to her. What she would be to him.

The woman who killed the Doctor, twice as it happened.

The woman who _married_ the Doctor.

Of course, that was the source of his current dilemma. He'd expected their time on Darilium to happen before he'd gone off to Utah but it never did. He hadn't arrived to find it a few days before her trip to The Library. He hadn't married her, then or ever. The events simply hadn't happened, no matter how he'd tried to engineer them. He'd gone to Utah to die so at some point she'd go off to The Library none the wiser, apparently _not_ in possession of the one thing she'd need to win his trust. A paradox should have been created. Time should already be unravelling around him, only it wasn't. Everything was apparently fine, which made no sense at all.

Of course, they'd had a wedding of sorts, but in an aborted timeline that no longer existed. That event hadn't taken place in reality and even if it had, he'd never revealed his name so it didn't count. He'd used some of the traditions a true Gallifreyan wedding would have but it had all been a ruse, a clever trick so that he could reveal himself inside the Teselecta – the Doctor in a Doctor suit. And all because the stubborn woman wouldn't kill him like she was supposed to. Because she _loved_ him.

While he had his doubts about that side of his situation, there was no doubt that River understood him. She had the power to hurt him, more power than he'd ever given anyone. When she'd come to Demon's Run, before she'd revealed exactly who she was, her words had wounded him, deeply. _"Now they've taken a child... the child of your best friends... and they're going to turn her into a weapon, just to bring you down. And all this, my love...in fear of you."_ He hadn't wanted to agree but how could he not? She was right and she was the only one with the guts to talk to him like that. He admired her for it.

Although it should be impossible, it seemed he'd been wrong when he'd assumed his nights taking her away from Stormcage were the sum total of their interactions. At a time still in his future he would marry River Song, for real. Because he hadn't lied about that, back at The Library. The only way he could have revealed his name to River without the entire universe coming to an end was if she'd shared a true Gallifreyan wedding with him. She _was_ his wife, and yet she wasn't. Getting his head around that was almost doing him in, Time Lord or not.

"Of course," he muttered suddenly, the proverbial light bulb going off in his head. "Stupid, _stupid_ , arrogant Doctor." 

There was only one explanation. He hadn't cheated a fixed point in time after all because the fixed point hadn't been his death on a lakeside in Utah. The fixed point had been his _presence_! He'd always been meant to survive. He'd believed he'd used up all his days with River but there were still days left to him. And on one of those days, before the fateful one in The Library, he would marry Melody Pond – Professor River Song. He'd marry her, knowing he's already sent her to her death. Only now it wouldn't be a comfort to know she'd go on in some format because he'd have to live with the knowledge – with her absence - in all likelihood for a very long time.

"What are you muttering about?" Amy demanded, finally growing tired of his pacing self-absorption. The Doctor was surprised it had taken her that long to lose patience. Since Christmas, when he'd caved and revealed his continuing alive-ness and the Ponds insisted on returning to their roles as his companions for a time, Amy questioned him even more than usual. Another thing River had spoiled - he'd realised as soon as Amy opened the door Christmas night that she'd known he was alive.

"Doctor," Amy drew his attention.

"What?"

"Muttering," Amy reminded him pointedly.

"Oh, right, of course, the muttering," the Doctor replied. "It's nothing for you to concern yourself with Amelia Pond. Just a timey wimey problem to solve. Do it in my spare time. Probably take care of it on a Tuesday. Nothing ever happens on Tuesdays."

"What problem?" Amy persisted.

"Something that doesn't concern you," he tapped a finger to her nose before spinning away to flip a lever. It did concern her because River was her daughter but he refused to feel guilty for another lie. Lucky for him Amy didn't know what happened at The Library. Only Donna Noble knew and the memory was supressed so deep inside Donna's mind there was no chance it would get out.  
He flipped another lever, resolutely pushing the whole mess to the back of his mind. It was time for the TARDIS to take them on their next adventure - one that didn't involve River Song and the eventual breaking of both his hearts.

* * *

Being a Time Lord was damned inconvenient at times, especially the part about being able to understand all of time and space simultaneous with solving the most complex of mathematical problems while running for his life and saving the known universe from disaster. Even with all that going on there was _still_ room for him to think on his problem - what to do about River Song. 

If he'd died in Utah like he was supposed to he wouldn't have to work anything out, but since he hadn't, the entire playing field had changed, in ways that had him feeling nervous and on edge.

Could he just ignore her? Would that work? If you looked at it in a certain way, she already had his name so as far as The Library went, she was set. Could he assume a minor sort of paradox was at play, and therefore he wasn't obligated to do anything? Of course he couldn't, even more with River, because they were travelling through time out of sync. Technically he could marry her any time – he just didn't want to, and certainly not to satisfy the requirements of a past event he'd had no say in.

Except it wasn't just that. He was a coward, clearly that was the case, something he should have found out about himself well before the age of eleven hundred and three. He was a coward who wanted nothing more than to avoid the heart ache he knew was in his future.

Despite the long history he now shared with River they were still nothing more than friends … friends who flirted and called each other 'sweetie'. It was all just light hearted fun – he'd committed nothing more of himself to the undertaking and he was fairly sure he didn't want to, mostly because he already knew how it ended. "Haven't I suffered enough of that already?" he asked the TARDIS. "When is it going to be enough, eh?"

His sexy lady didn't answer. She never really did, beyond taking him where she thought he needed to go whenever he got sick of himself. The TARDIS knew when he'd married River but she wouldn't tell him. She was the keeper of every spoiler in creation and she was very, very good at guarding every single one of them. He was sure that sometime in the past the TARDIS taught River everything she knew about secret keeping. That would explain why she was so bloody good at it.

"See, the thing is," he continued on as though they were in the middle of a conversation and it had simply been his turn to speak. "River dies in every way that counts, before I knew her enough to know that's just unacceptable. If there's nothing I can do to change it what's the point in getting more deeply involved? A bit of fun is one thing, but more than that? Surely it's better if I keep my distance, don't you think?"

The TARDIS didn't applaud his logic. Instead she gave that pulsing sound he always interpreted to mean she was disappointed in him. She expected better of him.

"You expect too much," he spat out, suddenly annoyed – with himself, with her, and most especially with River. "And this time, I'm not playing. There has to be another way to reveal what's needed without having to marry her. _I know._ I could hide the information in an obscure archaeological artefact. I can plant a clue somewhere only River will find it – in Gallifreyan. She's like a bloodhound, once she's got the scent she won't stop until she has her answer. It's always been about her anyway – I was just along for the ride."

The TARDIS made it quite clear she'd not be helping him with that one. He sounded bitter and he hated bitter. Worse still the TARDIS was right – _again_. He couldn't risk exposing his name to the universe – the consequences would be catastrophic and he'd have no true control over who acquired the information.

"Okay, so not something anonymous," he persisted. "I'll have to tell her in person. Since I've already used up all the Stormcage days and I don't want to marry her now she's free, it'll have to be when she was a child. I'll just pop into Leadworth while Mels is busy growing up with Amy and Rory. A little telepathic link with a time delay so the knowledge doesn't pop until she needs it, and Bob's your uncle."

The TARDIS made an even more insistent pulsing sound. She was getting impatient with him now.

"I _know_ , I know," he muttered irritably. He couldn't go back to River's childhood because she hadn't met him until the Hitler incident. Amy filled her head with stories of the Doctor but Melody Pond's first personal experience with him happened then. He was almost completely sure on that point.

As the River he knew she'd lived a large portion of her life in the 52nd century where he'd taken her - to the Sisters of the Infinite Schism. That had become her base timeline – she'd studied from there and was imprisoned there too. How much did she remember of what Madam Kovarian did to her between events? Enough to feel worried but not enough to stop herself from being manipulated? He thought so - no, he was sure of that because if she remembered it all she'd have found a way to _not_ be in that suit on April 22, 2011. She'd broken time itself in an effort not to be the woman who killed the Doctor. The programming was strong and insidious which suggested he'd be right to assume Berlin was their first meeting.

"Oh, I am a stupid, _stupid_ man," he exclaimed suddenly.

"I've been trying to tell you that for years," Amy ran down the steps to the console room with Rory trailing behind her. "What are you being stupid about today?"

"Your daughter. Melody Pond. River Song," the Doctor intoned. "She said we were travelling through time in the opposite direction – her past is my future – but she was wrong. Well, not wrong exactly, just too linear. Time isn't a piece of string stretching out from beginning to end. It's more like a big ball of twine all twisted and turning in on itself. It's a mess really – it's a wonder anyone ever makes any sense of it."

"How is this relevant to you being a stupid man?" Amy asked.

"We know where it began for her," the Doctor began.

"With Hitler, in the closet," Rory supplied.

"Exactly!" The Doctor pointed to Rory with a pleased grin. "With Hitler in the closet."

"The first time she met you," Amy commented.

"The first time she _killed_ you," Rory added.

"Precisely," it didn't trouble the Doctor to talk about his death. It was hardly the first time and it wouldn't be the last. Just in this regeneration alone he'd been almost wiped from existence on top of two River induced almost deaths. Lately it seemed everything was about the various ways to end him.

"What about you?" Amy queried, her eyes narrowed as that practical Scottish brain of hers kicked into gear. "When did you first meet River, because I _know_ it wasn't at the Byzantium."

"No, no it wasn't," the Doctor looked away. He knew he wore that blank expression any companion he'd ever had knew to steer clear of.

"Doctor?" Amy persisted.

Every companion except Amelia Pond, obviously.

"Spoilers," he said quietly, the pain he'd felt as he'd watched River sacrifice herself as fresh as it had been that day. He'd been confused then – an inexplicable grief chaining him to that place more surely than the handcuff around his wrist. So strange to lose something and have no understanding of what precisely it was you'd lost; to save it in a manner of speaking and be content with that until you began to realise that you hadn't really saved it at all.

Clapping his hands together he forced a smile. "Needless to say, the details of my first meeting with River are set. They've already happened and as we all know I can't cross my own time line. Therefore, it's the time in between where my stupidity comes into play."

"Because?" Amy was getting impatient with his roundabout explanation.

"Are we agreed that River and I never met before that day in Berlin?"

"I think so," Amy glanced at Rory for his opinion.

"She and Amy were inseparable growing up," Rory said thoughtfully. "I mean, they rarely spent an hour apart. I think it’s unlikely Mels could have hidden meeting Amy's imaginary friend from her."

"She hid the significance of the spacesuit and she knew what she was in prison for and never let on," Amy countered.

"Yes, but if she had met him before wouldn't she have killed him then?" Rory asked. "Besides, that's definitely when she learned to fly the TARDIS. I don't think she could have faked that."

"Unless it served some kind of purpose," Amy agreed.

"So, maybe not 100% sure then," the Doctor commented.

"Hang on though," Rory held up a hand, his brow creasing. "Aren't you in control of whether she meets you before Berlin?"

"Ah," the Doctor pointed at Rory again, grinning. "My best student! It’s complicated but let’s assume that for all intents and purposes it _is_ my decision. That being the case, I'm deciding that Berlin was in fact our first meeting. Any objections?"

Okay, so most of their meetings _hadn't_ been his choice, but since he was contemplating further meetings with her, going backwards before Berlin was at least on the table for consideration.

Amy and Rory looked at each other again and then shook their heads.

"Right, so … I think I'm going to have to pay the old ball and chain a visit."

"Don't let her hear you calling her that," Rory advised.

"Wouldn't dream of it," the Doctor replied, putting on the insulted face that his friend would think otherwise.

"I still don't get it," Rory complained.

"It's the Doctor," Amy laughed. "You're not supposed to get it."

"We know her first and my first," the Doctor was suddenly very serious. He knew her last too and until recently had believed she knew his as well. Breaking that, any way he could, was suddenly his primary objective. "Everything in between is fair game."

"So – not going backwards for River and forwards for him?" Rory queried his wife under his breath.

"Doesn't look like it," Amy replied, watching the Doctor skip away.


	3. Backwards and Forwards

Before he spoke to River he had to have a plan. He was tired of always feeling on the back foot. It was more than time for him to have the upper hand. Did she – did the Pond's for that matter think he was going to just blindly follow where River led? Follow the rules, him? He was the Doctor – he _made_ the rules.

He thought about it long and hard before deciding he was ready to take action.

"Time for a vacation back home, eh Ponds?" he asked, already decided. They hadn't been back with him long but for what he intended, he needed no companions.

"Why, what are you going to do?" Amy demanded. "You're up to something, aren't you?"

"No," he denied quickly. "Why would you think I was up to something?" the Doctor smiled winningly.

"Because you always try to get rid of us when you're up to something!" Amy retorted. "Rory, tell him."

"Ah – don't go out there getting into trouble, now," Rory glanced at his wife to see if he'd got it right.

"Course not," the Doctor raised a brow as he regarded his friends. The TARDIS made his favourite sound as she landed. The Doctor dashed to the door and opened it dramatically. "Ah, Earth, two thousand and twelve. Home sweet home Amelia Pond!"

"I suppose," Amy looked reluctant to leave him. "You'll be okay?"

"Never better," he replied. "Go, have some fun. Sleep in. Eat custard. I'll be back before you know it. Well, not _before_ you know it _obviously_ because that would be impossible."

"All right, we get it," Amy laughed, grabbing Rory and dragging him to the door. "Be careful," she ordered the Doctor.

"See you soon," he replied. Well, he couldn't very well agree that yes he'd be careful when he was intending to be very _not_ careful, now could he? 

The door of the TARDIS closed behind them and he was alone. A mad man with a box intending to do mad things.

"Right then old girl," he rushed back to the controls, dialling up the 52nd century with flare and a fair degree of trepidation. "Just this once could you put me in sync with River, please?"

He hadn't been confident she'd listen, until he materialised exactly where he'd intended, in the backyard of River's new home.

"Hello Sweetie," she intoned as soon as she opened her door and saw him standing there, giving him her 'knowing' smile. What exactly she knew he'd never been game to ask … until now.

"River," he sniffed the air, using his keen sense of all things time and space to work out when exactly he was. "Let's see now … you've been a resident here for … two months, give or take, and I'm still dead. How am I doing?"

"Very good Doctor," River complimented. "Although, two months? What sort of time do you call that, to still be leaving a girl languishing for her wedding night?"

"That's precisely what I wanted to talk to you about," the Doctor replied, telling himself very firmly that now was not the time to blush. He was a grown man into his second millennia and he'd done things that would surely make River blush. Just not … recently, and not with his current body … that he knew of.

Maybe that was a long time between drinks, so to speak, but when you were heading for the day of your death, getting hot and heavy with anyone would be the last thing on your mind. Okay, maybe the thought would cross your mind. His mind had been fully engaged with River, even though he'd convinced himself it was wrong to want her and would be even more so to act on it.

"Oh?" River looked intrigued. "Tell me more Doctor."

"I can't, not until you tell _me_ more," he stepped closer, "unless you're no longer interested in all of space and time."

"Are you trying to blackmail me?" River laughed. "Shame on you."

"I'm not trying to blackmail you, but it occurs to me that you haven't been entirely honest with me, have you River?"

"I've been as honest as you usually are Doctor," she evaded smoothly.

"Oh, touché," he congratulated her. "But I'm not talking about the usual lie where you pretend you didn't know you would kill me and I play along. No, I'm talking about your past … _my_ future."

"Yes," River frowned. He could see the wheels turning in that razor sharp mind of hers as she tried to find the trap in what he was saying. "That's the way it usually works."

"Ah! There it is again, another lie," the Doctor crowed. "Not this time. You don't know what's going to happen next – you couldn't. This whole thing is nowhere near as neat as you paint it and this time you aren't the one with the answers."

"I never said it was a perfect system Sweetie," River dismissed. "We were bound to get it right once in a while."

"I need to see your diary River," he told her determinedly, his eyes already finding the small blue book on her coffee table. It was full with the same events he had in his diary, except possibly for one. If there was one page in her diary he didn't have a match for then he'd have his answer as far as rewriting his future went. If there was no such page, if they weren't married at this point then what happened next was anyone's guess. Anyone’s guess and therefore fair game for 'correction'.

"No, you really don't," she returned.

"I really do," he insisted, hoping she wasn't going to throw them into a 'did too, did not' match.

"Why?"

"Because I know how this all ends, _River_ ," his voice took on a hard edge when he said her name, "and I have no intention of playing along. Trust me, you'll thank me one day for taking us both out of the maze."

"You can't rewrite us," River seemed unconcerned but he could see her eyes. Windows to the souls, eyes, and hers were crying out for him to feel what he was determined not to feel. "It's against the rules."

"And who made those rules?"

"You did," she admitted quietly.

"That's right," the Doctor approved. " _I_ made the rules. The two of us, making up rules for a man who never follows them. Why do you suppose that is?"

River was silent for a moment, watching him intently before she came to some kind of decision. "You told me you'd come to me one day and demand to see my diary," she sat on her bed, resting her hands calmly in her lap.

"Oh I did, did I?" the Doctor smiled. "Is that why you don't want me to read your diary?"

"I didn't write it in," River admitted. "And no, it wasn't breaking the rules because we agreed I shouldn't."

He'd been right – there _were_ more meetings with River for him before The Library. "And what gems of wisdom did I offer myself?"

"No gems," River reached for her diary. "You told me to give you something." She rifled through the pages until something fell out. An envelope, sealed. "This." With measured steps, she picked it up and carried it to him. "Read it," she told him quietly.

The Doctor regarded the innocent looking letter for a few moments before deciding it wouldn't hurt to read it. "Fine," he allowed, stepping back and ripping it open.

Inside was a single sheet with his own familiar handwriting scrawled across it. Gallifreyan of course, because even in the future he would be too paranoid not to protect himself.

" _Dear Doctor,_ " the letter began.

" _You're reading this now – obviously – which means I'm talking to myself. Strange. In any case, you're operating under the false perception that you can change your fate. You can't, so don't even bother trying._

_All right, even I know that's not going to work. I'll be blunt. You can't avoid falling for River Song – Melody Pond – a one in a gazillion kind of girl. Want to know why? Because you're already there old man. What you're suffering right now is what humans refer to as denial. Great word denial – sounds like exactly what it is, the futile efforts of a Time Lord who still thinks he can master time._

_Don't plot to escape from loving River and all that implies … because yes, we do marry her, for real. How else is she going to know our name? When you think on it some more you're realise why that's so important._

_Anyway, enough about all that. No, instead, the question you should be asking is why? Why did you send her off with only a screwdriver to save her? Madness really. Copying her into a database, never mind how big, wasn't going to suffice. My River Song loves a good book, she really does, but she'd go mad if all she had to look forward to for eternity was living a lie amidst a million of them. No new stories. No real mystery. Always knowing how it ends. Boring with a capital B._

_Even if that was enough to content her, it isn't enough for you. Maybe you don't really see that yet, what with the whole denial thing, but trust me, you will. You'll realise as the days stretch into weeks with no River to liven up your pathetic life, why she risked the destruction of time itself to save you. You can go back to when she was still alive – those few days after she was pardoned – but it won't be the same, because for every day you take there's one less day left available to you. The knowledge of that will eat away at you until you understand how little you really tried. By then it'll be too late to do anything to change it. My chance is gone but yours is still there for the taking, which is why you need to listen to me._

_Go back. Think about that day, in The Library, and the turning point, when your future with River began. Because it wasn't when she sat in that chair and sacrificed herself for you. And if you're honest with yourself, if you break your own stupid rules and for once stop lying to yourself, then you'll work out how to save her for real. Leave the screwdriver on the desk and go to her. Man up, as it were!_

_Trust me, you don't want to be me. Because me is no fun at all. Me is no companions and no visits to a certain archaeologist. No saving the universe. No fish fingers and custard. Me is a sad old man who sits in his blue box day in, day out, with only the past to comfort him, wondering where his life went wrong. Waiting for the end which seems a long time coming._

_Don't be that man."_

The Doctor's eyes shot to River's, and he swallowed nervously. She was watching him intently as he refolded the letter and stuffed it in his top pocket.

"No, I don't know what it says," she said before he could ask.

"Right," he hesitated, not sure what he should do next.

"Still want to see my diary?" she challenged.

"Ah, not at this time, no," he hated to back pedal but what other choice did he have. According to a future version of himself, his reason for being there had gone poof. Well, more like BOOM! Disintegrated, obliterated, turned into dust. "You know why I’m here though?"

"I could say spoilers, but I think we're past that," River replied. "Come, sit down with me," she patted the couch beside her.

He eyed her suspiciously. 'I think I'll stay over here for now." He sat on the edge of the other chair, unwilling to get comfortable.

"Wow, you really are Mr Grumpy Face today, aren't you," she teased.

"Just tell me the truth River," he demanded, impatience evident in his stiff posture and the way he clenched his hands at his sides. "Why do _you_ think I'm here?"

"Why, to find out if we got married my love," she smiled. "I knew it wouldn't take you long to work out the one on top of the pyramid didn't count. It's a dilemma, isn't it? All those stories, all the legends about us. So hard to work out what is real and what isn't."

"Maybe I _don't_ believe that nonsense about you being the woman who marries the Doctor," he replied. "It shouldn't come as a surprise to you when I tell you that I don't want to marry you River. Don't take it personally 'sweetie' – I don't want to marry anyone."

"If that's the case then why are you here?" River didn't let it show but he had to wonder if he'd hurt her feelings. For the woman who supposedly loved him she didn't seem troubled by his lack of reciprocation.

"Call it what you will," he waved a hand expansively. "Curiosity. The need to tie off all the loose ends. Guilt."

"Guilt?" she zeroed in on that one.

"Well, you were in prison for fourteen years because you let me fake my own death," he pointed out. "I owe you something for that. I'm just trying to find out what would suffice."

"You do owe me," she agreed. "Something big."

"Is that the reason then?" he queried. "Have I visited you here before and asked you what would make it up to you, with matrimony being the answer? Is that another event you forgot to write in your diary?"

"Would you really marry me just to assuage your guilt Doctor?" she challenged, amused.

"Probably not," he smiled. "I don't think I'm ever likely to feel quite that guilty about anything."

"And yet here you are, so concerned about an event you haven't experienced yet,” River’s eyes narrowed and then she smiled triumphantly. “You think it's going to happen, don't you? That's why you're really here!" Of course, _that_ was the question she should have asked up front and now they both knew it. He had irrefutable proof that they were in fact married but those events hadn't happened yet for her. She had a right to question his certainty. Spoilers were lurking around every corner, just waiting to pounce and ruin everything.

"Our pretend wedding River," he was quick on his feet. "When I announced that I'd told you my name and that it meant you'd married me, you didn't look surprised, not one little bit."

"And you concluded it was because I had prior knowledge of Gallifreyan customs," she deduced.

"It's one explanation," he agreed. "So tell me, am I right?"

"You already know the answer," River worked out another possible conclusion in a rush. "Your future self spilled the beans, didn't he?" she gestured to where he'd stashed the letter.

"If he did, it was with the best intentions," the Doctor evaded. "However it was done, that spoiler has already been well and truly spoiled, as it were. You might as well tell me when it happens."

"Why? So you can rewrite time so it never does?" River accused.

"I can't cross my own time line, you know that," he reminded her.

"I'm not willing to take the risk," she shook her head, turning away from him. "I think you should go."

"Not just yet," he leaned closer. "What if I told you I will never marry you, not unless you tell me right here, right now, when and why it happens?"

"I'd call you a liar," River smiled, rising slowly and approaching him with a slinky walk that was frankly distracting. "Rule number 1 Doctor, the only one I ever bothered to write down."

"Rule number 1," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. That one was certainly coming up more than usual lately. "Probably should have kept that a secret, eh?"

"Probably," she agreed, smiling as she stood over him. "So, are we done for today?"

"Mostly," he stood too, deciding with a sudden attack of clarity, that there was one thing he could do, while he was there. "I just need one more thing."

"What?" she moved closer.

It was nerve wracking and he wasn't sure if he was doing this exactly when he was supposed to or taking his first steps into reshaping his future. His future self believed he was already down for the count, already in love with River. Since he didn't think so and had been accused of denial, there was only one way to work out who was right. Him … or _him_?

She'd kissed him twice and both times he hadn't known what to do with his hands. He'd kissed her once too, but that one didn't count since the entire time line no longer existed. This one would, and he knew precisely what to do with his hands. He put them to good use, sliding his palms around her waist as he pulled her closer.

"Doctor?" she watched him intently but not wary enough for what he intended. She didn't expect him to take the initiative, because he never had. "What are you doing?"

"Proving a point," he muttered, the pulling in becoming a pulling up as he tugged her lips towards his. He kissed her for the first time – willingly and without the fate of time hanging on the result – expecting it to be the same as kissing Amy, or Martha, or Donna. Maybe not Rose because ... just because. Blimey, had he really snogged every single one of his female companions in more recent times? How had he managed that when none of them really counted?

This one counted though because this one was him making the first move, him deciding instead of having the decision made for him. As soon as contact was made he regretted acting in haste. Because, without the shock of the unexpected or the ticking of the clock at his back, he couldn't fail to notice that her lips on his were amazing, 'wonder of the world' noteworthy, forget where he was incredible. He'd proven a point all right, but it wasn't the one he'd intended. He was in serious, _serious_ trouble.

Time passed differently when you were involved in a kiss of such epic proportions. His hands insisted on staying where they were, warming themselves from the heat and the strength and the softness of River's waist and back. His lips seemed pretty determined to maintain their current position too. Plenty of room to move there though – he could keep his lips content while deepening the kiss with tongue contact. It surprised him, how forward he was being, but he couldn't stop; he needed to know her as fully as he could possibly know her from a single kiss. He wasn't sure later what stopped him. He'd pushed her away and was standing there panting before he realised that was his intent.

"Well, that was interesting," he muttered, just stopping himself from engaging in the nervous scratching he knew she'd pick up on.

"You always say that," she teased.

Right – always. Confirmation that this wasn't the only time he'd visit her at home. Like prison, their times weren't lining up, although the scope of the cross over seemed to be much narrower. It was both good and disturbing to know - something he needed to think about. "Right. O-kay. I'll just be off then," he turned and strolled to the TARDIS. "Until next time."

"Indeed," she smiled. "I always look forward to it."

Breaking away was surprisingly difficult – he had no idea what the last word in their conversation should be so he let her have it, unlocking the TARDIS door and entering without glancing back at her. He flipped the controls and moments later the TARDIS disappeared.

* * *

"So, what did we accomplish today?" he asked of the air, taking out the note from himself and smoothing it out to reread it. Communicating with himself – that was new, although not really. After all, he _had_ invited himself to his own death. He just hadn't signed the invitation.

Had he achieved anything, going to see River? Not what he'd intended, that was for sure – derailing the whole Doctor/River Song romance while still ensuring she had what she needed for his younger self to trust her. That plan had gone out the window almost before it had begun.

Did he love River? The evidence was mounting up, but even after that kiss he wasn't willing to know the answer, not just yet. There were things the Doctor just didn't do. Risking his hearts beyond the boundary of companion/friend was one of them – he'd never really been tempted, not since Gallifrey fell. And really, how much time had he actually spent with River? A few hours at the Byzantium with Weeping Angels after them practically the whole time. Even less time when the Pandorica opened – she'd been stuck in a TARDIS induced protective time loop and he'd been trapped on the other side of the rift in space and time. Very little chance for quality time together there. Oh sure, the sixties had been pretty intense but he'd spent most of that trying to figure out what Amy and Rory were hiding from him. River too – trust in her had been very hard to come by then.

In truth all of their adventures involved a lot of running and very little serious talking, because the Doctor didn't do serious. He'd visited her religiously but he'd kept it light because his intention hadn't been to romance her, just to ease, as far as he could, the pain of her confinement. Perhaps he was trying to make all of it up to her – the way she'd been taken and used to be the death he wouldn't see coming; the fact that she'd felt compelled to give up her remaining regenerations to save him; that it hadn't been enough because she'd found herself back in the position of being the death of him anyway.

Perhaps that was when things changed, as he lay on a Berlin floor dying, when all he'd wanted was to undo the wrongs done against her, to make sure she became the River he knew she could be. When he'd truly thought he was about to breathe his last breath, tricking fate hadn't been on his mind. He'd known she could save him but he hadn't wanted her to, not if it meant risking her own life. And in that last breath had been a truth of sorts – his belief that one day, if he let events run their course, he _would_ love her. That's what he'd whispered - when she eventually found River Song it would be the right time to tell her the Doctor loved her, always and completely.

There'd been no risk to his hearts then. No risk of future heart break. Even when he didn't die, when he stood in River's hospital room and gave her the diary, setting them on the path to always being out of sync, he didn't think about the consequences.

He could have happily continued on from one adventure to another with nary a serious moment to reflect on emotions, but for what happened on the top of that pyramid. He'd looked into River's eyes, swimming with tears as she'd convinced him one hundred percent that she would in fact suffer as much as the collective agony of every being in existence if she had to kill hm. He couldn't avoid the emotions then, the implications, the risks he wasn't willing to take. He'd lost too much, carried with him the scars that would never heal. He didn't know if he had it in him to willingly step back into a proper, adult relationship, didn't know if he was even capable of making something like that work.

One thing he did know though – if saving River Song in a way that wouldn't have him writing maudlin letters to himself in the future was his new objective, he had his work cut out for him.


	4. Second Time First

"Well? Did you solve that problem of yours?" Amy asked when he went to pick them up.

"Still working on it," he replied evasively. "How was the vacation Rory?"

"Longer than expected," Rory said blandly.

"Oh?" the Doctor tried to look innocent. "Was I late again?"

"Only by about a month!" Amy folded her arms over her chest and gave him the ginger glare.

"Right, a month," the Doctor nodded, deciding that telling them a month wasn't as bad as it could have been wouldn't be the sensible thing to do. "Nice weather?"

"It's winter. It rained every day," Rory said, so matter of fact that it was hard to tell if he was annoyed. Not like the scowl on Amy's face – that was all too easy to read.

"Well, aren't we all just full of good news today," the Doctor's shoulders slumped a bit and he buried his hands in his pockets. Of course he couldn't let the doldrums linger – there was always another place and another time to discover ... and he had research to do. "Do you know what we need?" he turned to the console and tapped out his intended destination.

"No, what do we need?" Amy moved to stand beside him, her bad mood forgotten.

"Reading material," the Doctor smiled. "Books, Amy. We don't have nearly enough books. Biographies! I do enjoy a good biography."

"Books?" Amy looked at Rory uncertainly. "O-kay."

"Lucky for all of us, I know just the place." The Doctor threw the TARDIS into gear with a flourish. "The biggest library ever created, with every book that ever was or ever will be written. Takes a whole planet to contain them!"

The TARDIS whirled and sang as it came to a rest. The Doctor rushed to the door and threw it open, sticking his head outside for a moment and then returning to grin at Amy and Rory. "Saturday in the biggest library in existence! How good is that? Come along Ponds," he urged impatiently when they didn't move quickly enough.

"All right, keep your shirt on," Amy complained. "I never knew you were so keen on books."

"Education is the cornerstone of civilisation," the Doctor said pompously, spoiling it by winking secretively. "Besides, I hear this place has the biggest hard drive in creation. That's got to be worth getting a look at, right?"

He waited for Amy and Rory to step outside and then purposefully closed the TARDIS door behind them. Turning, he raised his finger as though testing the direction of a breeze. "Right, non spoilery books for you two are in that direction," he'd parked the TARDIS on a balcony and pointed now to the stairs leading downwards and to their left. "Steer clear of the higher floors and you should be right."

"What are you going to be doing?" Amy narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Research," he gestured vaguely.

"What sort of research?" Amy persisted.

"Vermin," the Doctor tilted his head and smiled. "You never can find a good exterminator when you want one. Best to learn how to take care of that sort of thing yourself. At least, that's what I always say. Well, no, I've never said that, but I would, if the subject had ever come up in the past – hard to believe it hasn't, what with some of the places we've been."

There he went again, babbling about a whole lot of nothing. That was all he was going to say and Amy knew it. With a sigh she grabbed Rory's arm and tugged him into motion. 

"He gets stranger every day," Rory muttered as they walked down the stairs.

"Something's wrong," Amy murmured back, "only he won't tell us what it is."

"That's hardly new," Rory pointed out.

"I _can_ still hear you, you know."

They turned as one to see the Doctor still standing at the top of the stairs.

"What, you haven't gone yet?" Amy said without a trace of guilt. "I thought you had _vermin_ to research."

He was silent for a moment. "Don't wander off," he cautioned, "and for God's sake stay in the populated areas." They still had plenty of time before The Library sealed itself but there was no point in taking chances. He watched them walk away for a moment before shaking himself. Hurrying down the stairs he followed his instincts and headed towards the basement.

The statues with the human donated faces were located throughout the library. When he'd hit street level he found an area that for the time being was deserted and approached one of them.

"I am Courtesy Node one hundred and two, magenta. Please enjoy the Library and respect the personal access codes of all your fellow readers regardless of species or hygiene taboo."

"I bet you say that to everyone," the Doctor smiled at his own joke while the human face on a stick waited patiently for his question. "Right, o-kay then. What have you got on the Vashta Nerada?" He was in the biggest library ever created and if the place had books on him, then _surely_ it had something on the shadows that weren't shadows. When he'd been here the first time, at the tender age of nine hundred and seven, he'd assumed that if he didn't know a defence against them that didn't involve running for your life, there wasn't one. Now, at eleven hundred and three he'd decided it was okay for him not to have all the answers. Why even have a library as big as a planet if you were expected to carry every piece of information around in your head? Even his memory capacity wasn't big enough for that!

Daleks - aim for the eyestalk. Sontarans - back of the neck. The Weeping Angels – if you didn't have a handy crack in time and space to throw them it, find a way to use their quantum locked existence against them. The Vashta Nerada? There had to be something – everything had a weakness.

"The following list carries a Felman Lux Accuracy Rating of eighty seven and a Felman Lux compatibility rating starting at ninety three," the statue advised in that too cheerful, not human enough voice. "List begins. Item Gamma six Alpha fifteen - Extermination Throughout the Ages, Chapter nine; Item Epsilon Nineteen Alpha three - Defensive Strategies for Every Foe, Chapter one hundred and seven; Item Omega Eight Gamma three - Unique Tree Spores and How to Neutralise them, Chapter Five; Item Sigma Twenty Chi Eleven – The Pied Piper and the Deadly Shadows; Item -,"

"Stop," the Doctor ordered. "The last one, I'll have that one. Where is it?"

"Please specify item designation."

"Ah, Sigma something something Eleven," the Doctor scowled. An instruction to take note of the item numbers would have been helpful!

"Insufficient information."

"The Pied Piper and the Deadly Shadows," the Doctor persisted impatiently. "You just said it! Just point me in the right direction, there's a good courtesy node."

"Item Sigma Twenty Chi Eleven is located in Tower Sigma, Level Twenty, Section Chi, Row Eleven."

"Well, that should be easy enough to remember," the Doctor gave a mocking salute to the node.

"They're not exactly friendly, are they?"

The Doctor spun, stiffening when he came face to face with an older woman. With her school-marmy attire, hair in a bun thing, and glasses perched almost on the tip of her nose, if she'd told him she was the head librarian, he wouldn't have been surprised. "Ah, no, no they're not," he replied. "Still, what can you expect from donated faces on sticks, eh?"

The old lady smiled. "Mrs Miranda Hollingsworth," she introduced herself. "Librarian."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs Miranda Hollingsworth. I'm the Doctor."

"Of course you are dear," she said kindly. "Do you need help finding what you're looking for?"

"Constantly," he murmured, amused. "Do you work here Mrs Hollingsworth?" he asked in a more normal voice.

"No, but I've been here since they opened two months ago," Miranda replied.

"Well then, I can see I'm talking to an expert. You must really like books," the Doctor couldn't imagine voluntarily spending so much time in the one place, even somewhere as cool as The Library.

"I've been commissioned to create a children's library back home," Miranda shared. "I'm here to research and make recommendations. Enjoying the books _is_ a lovely bonus though. Forgive me dear. I couldn't help but overhear your request which is why I offered to help." When he looked confused she smiled. "The book you're after is a children's book. The Library has a wonderful collection – so many works I've never come across before. It will take many months more before I could even begin to narrow down my selections sufficient for the needs of my employer."

"A children's book," the Doctor repeated, his interest sharpening by the minute. "Then by all means, Mrs Miranda Hollingsworth. Lead the way." He held out an elbow, charmed when she gave him a delighted smile before taking his arm.

"This is your first visit to the library?" she asked as they walked towards the closest station of the planet wide transport system.

"No. Well, yes. Actually, it's complicated," the Doctor replied, stepping onto one of the pods and waiting for his companion to do the same. "I was here once before but it wasn't the books that drew me." He requested their destination and a moment later the transporter activated, depositing them into another room that looked exactly like the one they'd just left.

She gave him a curious glance as they began walking again. "What a contrary thing, to come to a planet that's nothing but library but not be here for the books."

"Yes, well, I received a request for help from a friend," he shrugged, suddenly feeling just the tiniest bit uncomfortable. Miranda Hollingsworth reminded him of a grandmother – if he'd been lucky enough to have such a thing he’d have liked one exactly like Miranda. If he wasn't careful she'd have him spilling his entire life story, and even he didn't have the time for that!

"And so you came," Miranda patted his arm. "What a loyal friend you must be."

"I try," he replied, "although they don't always make it easy. In fact, in this case I'd say she goes out of her way to make it difficult for me."

"She?" Miranda smiled in that way of mother's with sons they were eager to see married off.

"Now, none of that," he admonished, amused.

"And did you help her?" Miranda asked curiously.

The Doctor's face dropped and he looked away. "Not as much as I could have."

"Did you do your best?" she asked gently.

"At the time, I thought so," he began, but then sighed. "That's not strictly true. You see, she – River Song – back then she knew me far better than I knew her and she used that knowledge against me."

"You're still angry," Miranda observed as they walked past sections one through nineteen.

He hadn't realised it himself, but she was right, he _was_ still angry with River – for taking all his choices away before he'd known how important it would be that he had them. More than that he was angry with her for taking his place, for doing what had been his to do … for leaving him instead of trusting him to find a solution that didn't involve her sacrificing herself for him .. _again_. "Anger is pointless," he dismissed, "more than that, it's usually the shortest distance to a mistake. The Doctor doesn't _do_ angry." He saw the way she almost smiled. "Oh, don't look at me like that," he admonished. "Apparently I'm in denial and I'm very happy to be there, thank you very much!"

"You'll be fine dear," she said, patting his arm again. She stopped, pointing through the open doorway before them. "Section Twenty," she said. "Your book will be in there, rear right hand corner."

He nodded, glancing into the room before turning his attention back to her. "Thank you Mrs Miranda Hollingsworth. It's been a pleasure." He raised her hand to his lips and pressed a grateful kiss there. It was an old fashioned gesture; his eyes twinkled at the faint blush that stained her cheeks. 

Straightening, he spun, striding towards the doors. Then he stopped, turned back to her and gave her a serious, intent look. "I think this list of yours must surely be sufficient as it stands. Go home and complete your task. There are other adventures waiting for you Miranda … and there are things more important than books."

She frowned, her eyes locked with his.

"Please," he pleaded quietly. "Let me be the kind of friend I wanted to be, that other day I came to The Library."

"Very well," Miranda agreed after a small pause. "I suppose I already have more choices than could fit in ten libraries. I'll leave today."

"Thank you," the Doctor was suddenly all good humour again. "Right then, I'm off. Pipers and Shadows you know." Saluting her he spun on a heel and strode inside.

* * *

The Pied Piper was so classic a tale that its basic premise cropped up in the legends of various planets. The stranger hired to fix a problem who later turned that problem against the community who'd hired him when they reneged on their original agreement. The morale was wide spread too - _if we've promised them aught, let us keep our promise!_

The Earth version amused him – although he hadn't been anywhere near Hamlin at the time in question he did wonder, for in places it seemed the lines were too apt, especially after the Piper had fixed the towns vermin problem. _Nobody could enough admire the tall man and his quaint attire._ "Yeah, but bow ties are cool," the Doctor muttered, straightening his current one defensively.

After rifling through the various versions of the Pied Piper the Doctor turned his attention to the volume that had snagged his attention. "Now let's see what the Shadows have to do with it," he murmured, fanning the pages as rapidly as usual to get a quick record of the entire content. "Mmm, interesting," he scratched his cheek and then swept his hair back as he thought.

"Piper with a special pipe … or maybe not a pipe, something like a pipe but not," he rifled through the book until he found the page he wanted.

" _There he appeared, with pipe in hand;_  
 _No hint of fear upon his face,_  
 _and raised the pipe to make his stand_  
 _across all time and space._

_No notes emerged, no tune, no dance._  
 _His music born in streams of light_  
 _did strike as true as the ancient lance;_  
 _his weapon of old, this noble knight._

_And the light did grow to blinding,_  
 _leaving nothing for the finding._  
 _The shadows they began unwinding._

_The swarm, a thousand, thousand strong,_  
 _could not withstand the silent song._  
 _Bright light to right the deepest wrong._ " 

"Bright light to right the deepest wrong," the Doctor repeated. 

Was it that simple? Light at the right frequency and with sufficient luminescence to render the shadows inert? It made sense. The Vashta Nerada were creatures of the dark, they concealed themselves in the shadows and they made shadows of themselves to avoid detection. They didn't exist in the light and without the numbers they would achieve in The Library they never would have staged such an open attack across so large a space. It was uncharacteristic behaviour which was why he'd been taken so off guard last time.

The information he’d found made for a promising start. He still had problems aplenty to solve, chief among them how he was going to rewrite River's ending without rewriting his prior self's time in The Library. River was a time traveller – anything he did that affected his future she would know. She'd make his life hell if she caught him at it. "Then don't get caught," he muttered irritably. Right, don't get caught. Easier said than done.

* * *

Hours later, after he'd tracked down every one of The Library references for the Vashta Nerada the Doctor returned to the TARDIS to find Amy and Rory already there.

"Find anything interesting?" Amy quizzed as soon as he was through the door.

"Perhaps," he smiled. "What about you two? I hope you successfully avoided spoilers. No fun, knowing the ending, not without understanding how you got there, eh?" He slid past them and attacked the controls with his usual zest, sending the blue box spinning away through space. "I don't know about you, but I could do with some quiet time."

"You, quiet time?" Amy snorted. "Right, that's it. Tell us what's wrong or we'll … we'll do something you won't like! Hijack the TARDIS and make you live through a month of Sundays or, or … I don't know but trust me, we'll think of _something!_ "

"Really Amelia Pond, threats?" the Doctor's brow rose as he regarded his best friend. "You disappoint me."

"Don't try to change the subject with insults," Amy shot back. "You're not yourself. You haven't _been_ yourself this whole time – since you picked us up, a month late. I think you visited River – what did she say that has you behaving so strangely?"

"Nonsense," the Doctor laughed. "I'm as me as it gets. Maybe it's you that's out of practice. Too much time living the ordinary life."

" _No._ You're really not, you know," Rory spoke up. "How can we help if you won't tell us what's wrong?"

"I never asked you for help. I'm sorry," the Doctor turned away, fiddling with the dials unnecessarily. "You're just going to have to accept that there are times - no, there are _reasons_ why I can't involve you."

"So you admit you do have something going on," Amy pounced.

"Rule two hundred and thirty; Admit nothing," the Doctor replied. He kept his expression blank as Amy met his eyes, hers practically boring into him as she tried to intimidate him.

"Fine," she said abruptly, giving in. "We'll leave it … for now." The threat of future action on her part was there but he’d always been good at ignoring what wasn’t useful to whatever situation he’d gotten himself embroiled in.

" _Thank you_ ," he said in an exaggerated tone. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to retire to my room. It's been a long day."

"More research?" Amy asked, not expecting an answer.

The Doctor paused for a moment, his back still to his friends; without a word he continued through the doorway that led to the rest of the TARDIS.

"That went well," Amy's voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"Leave him be," Rory advised. "He'll come to us, when he's ready."

"Not this time Rory," Amy turned as his arms enfolded her, resting her head against his chest. "He's determined to go it alone."

"It's his right," Rory reminded her. "And didn't he spend years and years travelling alone? He was fine during all of that."

"Because he thought he was going to die in Utah!" Amy leaned back to frown up at her husband. "Now he's not, it's like he doesn't know what to do with himself. He needs us. He just doesn't know it yet."

"We'll do what we can," Rory promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I referenced the original Piped Piper of Hamlin by Robert Browning for this chapter. The verse the Doctor reads is my own creation, based on the same structure of rhyming etc. Also I don't think there is a Rule 230 - I made that up as well ;)


	5. Sonic Upgrades

In his room, the Doctor threw himself down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. Usually he was a creature of impulse, not one to have a long list of things to do. He went where the mood took him. Now he had actual work to do. He grimaced. Another change forced on him by River. With a sigh he sat up, reaching into his top pocket and pulling out his sonic screwdriver. He'd invented it as a young man when he could have been out enjoying his youth as young men of Gallifrey were wont to do. It had been foolhardy – he'd missed out on things he really should have manned up for, but he'd come away with something that was just as much a part of him as the TARDIS.

Over the years he'd tweaked it, continually improving its range of functions and its efficiency. Taking out his tools he carefully pried off the outer coverings to expose the innards. What he wanted was a new set of commands to produce the light he'd need – with room for experimentation since he wouldn't get it right the first time. While he was there he might as well think about these red settings, _and_ the dampeners River would mention in the future, although they sounded like all they'd do was add boring to his screwdriver. "Spoilers," he muttered, disgruntled.

He stayed closeted in his room for days. When he finally emerged he had a sonic screwdriver that looked more like the one he'd given River in the future than his old one. It wasn't exactly the same but it was closer than he liked. Did that mean _he_ was closer to the version of himself that would feel desolate enough he'd write his younger self a letter?

"He emerges," Amy announced. She and Rory had taken to staking out the control room after the first day, just so she could get a good look at the Doctor before he put his game face on. 

He looked troubled, almost sad. It only lasted for milliseconds before he pushed it away, giving her a fond smile. "You missed me, admit it!" His eyes twinkled.

"Did not," Amy denied.

"Of course you did," the Doctor insisted. "It's no fun unless you're on your way to the next adventure, isn't that right?"

"I didn't say that," Amy protested. "Did I?" She looked at Rory for support.

"Not that I recall," Rory obediently piped up. "We just happened to be up here, ah …," he looked back at his wife for ideas on what they could have been doing in the control room without the Doctor.

"Oh shush," the Doctor said before Amy could lie to him. "Both of you are rubbish at lying so don't even bother trying. Never mind. It just so happens I have a new sonic screwdriver to try out," he held up the improved version. "Fancy a trip to see what it can do?" He gave them a charming smile.

"Yes please," Amy smiled back.

"Right, where shall we go?" he muttered, moving over to the keyboard. "Needs to be somewhere sunny, but not _too_ sunny. We need shadows … enough to make it interesting but not enough for a swarm, because that would be bad." He read the screen for a moment and then froze. 

"Ooh, that's interesting. That's very, very interesting."

"What are you on about Doctor?" Amy demanded.

"Oh, didn't I say?" he tilted his head as he regarded his friends over the console. "The new settings – light waves. Well, light particles and light waves to varying degrees, interspersed with the usual sound waves. See?" He whipped out the sonic screwdriver and sent a burst of light across the control room.

"You've made your screwdriver into a torch and now you want to test it?" Rory asked uncertainly.

"Exactly!" The Doctor flipped the main control for the TARDIS, the blue box landing only moments later with its usual noise. Checking the readings he smiled. "Yes, this will do nicely."

Amy and Rory followed him to the door, and beyond to their latest location. "Earth, again?" Amy frowned.

"Not Earth, although a very good facsimile. It's perfect really," the Doctor insisted. "They're here, but not in threatening numbers."

"Who's here?" Rory asked.

"The Vashta Nerada," the Doctor intoned, the words rolling off his tongue with an exotic flare.

"And who are they then?" Amy questioned, looking around her. They were on the outskirts of a village that looked remarkably like one of many quaint villages scattered across England. Were it not for the twin suns blazing down from the sky she would have thought he'd lied about them not being on Earth.

"The shadows that melt the flesh," the Doctor translated.

"Excuse me - _melt_ the flesh?" Rory swallowed, glancing around him nervously.

"Nothing to worry about, Rory the Roman," the Doctor strode forward, his screwdriver held at the ready in front of him. "There aren't enough of them here to be a real threat. Not yet anyway. Now in the _future_ , let's just say that's when things get a little bit tricky. Nothing you have to worry about though – well beyond your time. Shall we?"

He strolled down the street, directing his screwdriver from left to right and back again as he walked. The cottages gradually morphed into larger establishments – a bakery, vegetable market, tailor, and of all things a button shop. It was at the largest building just past these that his screwdriver began to pulsate – brighter, normal, brighter, normal, over and over at increasing speed as he approached.

"A library? Again," Amy folded her arms against her chest irritably. "What's with the sudden fascination over books Doctor?"

"It's not the books, Pond," the Doctor peered at the door before spinning to regard his friends. "You see, I told her to leave when what I really should have said was don't buy any books."

"Told who?" Rory and Amy spoke in unison.

"Mrs Miranda Hollingsworth, who, if I'm not mistaken, is the librarian here," the Doctor explained. "Lovely lady, reminds me of my grandmother, well she would, if I had such a thing."

"How sweet," Amy grinned at her husband. "He made a friend in The Library."

"He makes friends everywhere he goes, without even trying," Rory pointed out.

"She helped me and now it's time to return the favour," the Doctor announced, "with the added bonus that I get to test my upgrades." He held the sonic screwdriver aloft and advanced slowly. "Follow me and step only where I step. Stay out of the shadows – and watch your own shadows. Don't let them overlap. In fact, best if they don't touch anything at all. Right, ready?" he didn't wait for the affirmative, trusting that they'd either follow or wait for him to return.

The door wasn't locked. When it creaked open he stepped carefully inside. "Hello?" he called out. "Anybody home?"

"Hello?" The voice was female and definitely shaking with both nerves and fear. That wasn't a good start.

The Doctor moved carefully through the entrance area, using the large patches of sunlit floor, until he stood in the doorway of the room beyond, eyeing its occupants with leisurely curiosity. "Mrs Miranda Hollingsworth! Fancy seeing you here!"

"Doctor?" Miranda looked at her unexpected visitor incredulously. Her glasses were slightly askew and her hair just a touch untidy but she looked in good spirits – well, apart from the fear colouring her complexion. She and three others were gathered in the centre of the room, in the large pool of light cast from the skylight above. Around them menacing shadows loomed, giving the appearance of being cast from the many bookshelves lining the walls. Of course, he knew better. The Vashta Nerada … not in every shadow but in any one of them, making them all a threat. Luckily he'd arrived in time, while there was still light enough for him to join the ladies in the centre of the room.

"Good, you remember me," the Doctor smiled. "Am I right in assuming you acquired some of the books here from The Library?"

"Well yes," Miranda agreed. "Many of the volumes I'd never heard of prior to my visit there. They were very generous in securing me additional copies."

"Unfortunately it's that generosity that could very well destroy your library," the Doctor pursed his lips together. "Maybe, _probably_ … unless we get very, very lucky."

"Doctor, the shadows," Amy had followed him, meaning both his companions flanked him because of course Rory had followed Amy.

"I'm aware of them Pond," a part of him had his eyes on the darkness surrounding them the whole time he'd been talking to Miranda. He fiddled with the settings on his screwdriver. "Time to see how you do," he murmured, pointing to one corner of the room and activating it.

Light burst from the end, pulsing green that seemed to shimmer and grow in dimension the farther it got from his hand. Unfortunately, rather than drive the shadows away it seemed to have the opposite effect. Previously slowly encroaching shadows grew more rapidly, looming into ominous looking forms it would be very easy to imagine had teeth. Nasty sharp teeth designed to devour a human in seconds now surrounded them, cutting off their path of escape.

"Right, not a good start!" he fiddled with the sonic settings again. "I just need to -."

"Doctor!" Amy warned.

The Doctor focussed back on the shadows, now creeping rapidly across the floor towards them. "Everyone get back," he added to his instructions by standing in front of the small group, his arms outstretched. "Rory, keep your eyes on the shadows behind us. Keep everyone out of the shadows."

Rory nodded, turning so that his back was to the Doctor, his own arms outstretched to create a barrier their innocent charges couldn't cross. It wasn't enough to make a circle – quickly catching on Amy did the same, her right hand touching Rory's while her left reached out for the Doctor.

"Very good," the Doctor shifted and the circle was complete. "Miranda, fill me in on what's happened so far," he ordered, back to fiddling with his screwdriver again. When he had a new combination of light and sound locked in he directed it at the shadows in front of him. They didn't retreat but at least this time their advance wasn't accelerated either. "Getting closer," he muttered, still listening to Mrs Hollingsworth.

"It was all so sudden Doctor," Miranda's voice trembled. "Poor Mr Bottomley. All he wanted was a picture book to read to his grandson at bedtime. _Noises at Night_ , I told him. Always a popular one with the boys. He was only in the aisle for a moment and then he screamed and then just as quickly stopped." The sound of four upset people was loud in the silence.

"Did you …," the Doctor trailed off, swivelling his head to her and seeing the tears welling up in her eyes. "Don't cry," he pleaded.

"There was nothing left," Miranda sniffed. "Just torn clothing and bones, and the shadows that moved by themselves. The Ms Harpers, Gladys and I ran to the light – I thought we'd be safe there."

"You did very well," the Doctor said quietly, head bent as he made more adjustments. "And you didn't kill him Miranda. The Shadows did."

"The shadows. I don't understand. How can that be?" Miranda cried suddenly.

"The Vashta Nerada," the Doctor pointed his screwdriver at the shadows for the third time but didn't activate it as he again looked at his friend. "The Shadows that melt the flesh, or piranhas of the air, depending on how you translate it. Not visible to the naked eye. They live in the dark and usually survive on road kill, unless their numbers grow enough for them to swarm. When they do that they become the deadliest predator imaginable. Nowhere is safe."

"How did they get here?" one of the others demanded.

"Simple," the Doctor gestured around him. "They came in the books."

"The books?" everyone eyed the shelves and shelves of books with new wariness.

"The Vashta Nerada hatch from the microscopic spores of one special kind of tree," the Doctor explained hurriedly, his mind more on the chances that he'd have the right balance this time, sufficient to drive the shadows back. He couldn’t afford for their pace to increase again, with so little distance now between them and the people he was trying to protect. "They remain dormant for centuries until their hatching cycle. At some point in the past their forests were harvested for The Library. A million, million books all with thousands of spores each. When I told you to leave the library Miranda I neglected to warn you not to take any books home with you and for that I'm truly very sorry." No one asked him how he could possibly know what he did about The Library, nor pointed out the coincidence of him turning up just at the right time now – nerves were high and adrenalin was pumping, leaving realisations and questions for later.

"How do we defeat them?" Amy sounded nervous but resolute too. "There must be something we can do or you wouldn't have brought us here."

"True," the Doctor activated his screwdriver. The effect was even more dramatic than the first time, and not in the direction he'd been hoping for. The shadows rushed across the floor now, hunting them, surrounding them on all sides. "Back! Now!" he ordered, their circle closing inwards until it could get no smaller.

"Doctor!" Amy cried, pressed to his side. He felt Rory on the other side, that strange mix of nerves when it didn't matter and calm just when it was needed coming to the fore. Good old Rory Williams.

" _Doctor!_ " Amy cried more forcefully when he didn't respond.

"I don't know why you do that," he complained, his mind rapidly analysing what he knew. His previous adjustments had the opposite effect. Reversing them might do the trick. "I do have eyes you know!"

"Then do something!" Amy shot back.

"Fine, rush brilliance," the Doctor retorted. He activated his screwdriver for the fourth time. The same green light emerged, the pulsations rapid and irregular. There was noise too, waves of vibration that only the Doctor could hear.

The shadows froze but as he continued to wave his screwdriver back and forth they began to move. Twitching, jerking, expanding and contracting, faster and faster until with a scream of inhumane pain they burst outwards.

"Get down!" the Doctor yelled, dropping to the ground and pulling Amy and Rory with him. A shock wave of force that smelled like rotting flesh passed over their heads until abruptly there was calm again. "O-kay," the Doctor grinned, eyeing his screwdriver proudly. Maybe he'd been that too awkward, nervous young man rubbish at pubescent advancement towards the opposite sex, but no one could discount he'd put his time to great use, nor his creative genius.

"Is it over?" Rory asked.

The Doctor jumped to his feet, scanned the now normal looking shadows and smiled smugly. "Of course it's over! The vermin are vanquished, like rats, drowning in the river Weser."

"The river Weser," Rory repeated too carefully, exchanging one of those glances with his wife the Doctor had learned meant 'the doctor is more than a little daft'.

"Come now Rory. Don't you read?!" The Doctor demanded. He looked to Miranda hopefully. "Mrs Hollingsworth – you'll know what I'm talking about," he invited confidently.

"The Pied Piper of Hamlin," Miranda dutifully said. Now that the crisis was over she looked suddenly older, tired. It had been a difficult day. "From street to street he piped advancing, and step for step they followed dancing, until they came to the river Weser, wherein all plunged and perished."

"Wonderful, bravo," the Doctor wrapped his arm around the librarian and hugged her fondly. "Knew you wouldn't let me down."

"Yeah, but you're hardly the pied piper," Amy laughed. "Where's your pipe then?"

"Who needs a pipe when you've got one of these?" the Doctor held up his sonic screwdriver proudly.

"Are they gone?" one of the ladies, Gladys, asked. The Ms Harpers still hasn't spoken, so great had been their fear.

"Completely," the Doctor said reassuringly. He directed his screwdriver at all the corners, walked down every aisle, and then returned to the centre. "Nothing but normal shadows here."

They stayed while one of the Ms Harpers went to get the town authorities, cooperating with the questions while giving nothing away and then looking on as the remains of poor Mr Bottomley were carted away. Both Ms Harpers insisted on accompanying the man who questioned them about the incident to Mr Bottomley's home – to break the news as best they could to the old man's family.

"Right, then, we'll be off," the Doctor announced once the library was quiet again.

"Thank you Doctor," Miranda hugged him gratefully.

He hugged her back, patting her shoulder as he stepped away. "All in a day's work," he dismissed lightly.

"Then I pity you those days," Miranda said gently. "The Shadows, is that what happened to her, your friend? The one you didn't help as much as you wanted?"

"Shh," the Doctor glanced over to where Amy and Rory were talking with Gladys. Seeing that they were occupied he nodded. "They were a part of it. I was younger then, cocky but not in a good way. So sure I knew everything there was to know about fixing things."

"You helped today," Miranda said softly. "We wouldn't have survived were it not for you. My mind boggles at how you turned up, just when we needed you."

"I do that," the Doctor said smugly. "It's kind of my thing."

"The Doctor, riding to the rescue in his magic blue box," Amy strolled over and threaded her arm through his.

"Yes, well, like I said, time to go," the Doctor shifted, uncomfortable with the sudden praise, especially when he didn't think he deserved it. From Amy less than from anyone. After all, he hadn't saved her daughter … yet.

* * *

"What a lovely man he was," Gladys told Miranda as the two ladies straightened up the library later.

"He's lonely," Miranda murmured. "Lonely and sad."

"He's a hero, that's what he is," Gladys insisted. She was a writer herself; children's tales - heroic legends of damsels in distress being saved by mysterious men who rode in out of nowhere. She knew what she was talking about. "What did he call that story again?" she asked, her mind already plotting.

"The Pied Piper of Hamlin?" Miranda repeated.

"That's it. The Pied Piper … and the Deadly Shadows," Gladys mused, the words already forming in her head. It was a good title.


	6. Permission

River Song sat in the living room of her small but comfortable home, a letter clutched in her hand. It reminded her of the good old days, when she'd send the Doctor a psychic message and he'd come running. Every night he'd visited her at Stormcage, without fail. He'd never missed a night. Of course that all changed when she received her pardon. Now she was lucky if she saw him from one week to the next. More than anything else that told her what his intentions had been all those years. To keep his promise to make it up to her, just as she'd kept hers to remain in prison until she was freed legitimately. Some would be surprised to learn that she looked back on those days fondly, that a part of her wished to be back there again, back when she saw her Doctor every day.

Sighing, she glanced down at the letter again, rereading it quickly.

" _River, the Doctor needs you._ " It was signed " _Amy – your mother – you know who I mean._ "

That was it – the Doctor needed her. It didn't happen often, in fact only once. The day Rory came to Stormcage and she'd had to turn him away. It wasn't the right time. Oh, how angry the Doctor had been when she'd finally arrived at Demon's Run.

She'd been forced to ignore that summons – foreknowledge was a bitch sometimes – this time she could please herself. Placing her vortex manipulator on her wrist, she concentrated on arriving soon after her mother’s note had been sent, activated it, materialising a microsecond later at the TARDIS door. She didn't knock, just pushed it open and stepped into the control room. She felt the welcoming hum even as she turned to face the disgruntled look on the Doctor's face.

"You called _River_?" the Doctor glared at Amy, his arms folded over his chest as he refused to look at River herself.

"Had to, Mister Mopey," Amy was unapologetic. "What choice did you leave me?"

"Mother?" River ignored the Doctor after a silent assessment where she decided that on the surface, he seemed fine. A little tired perhaps, and certainly a lot less jovial than he usually was, but nothing that seemed to warrant a call for help.

"River," Amy hurried forward to greet her daughter.

"He seems fine," River murmured, eyeing the Doctor who was determined to ignore her. After their recent adventures and the progress she thought they'd made, it was disheartening.

"He's not," Amy said in a low tone. "In his room for hours on end – researching he says. Going off without us. And his mood – if I didn't know better I'd say he was depressed. The Doctor can't get depressed, can he?"

"I don't know," River's eyes narrowed. "He does look …. defensive."

"Stop talking about me as if I'm not standing right here," the Doctor complained.

"Then stop acting like a spoilt child," River replied pleasantly. "You're worrying Amy and Rory, which isn't like you at all."

"There you all go again! I'm tired of people telling me what is and isn't like me," the Doctor's voice was quiet and grim and reminded her of the time he'd called her a bad girl and then scoffed at the thought that he could ever trust her. "Especially when they have no idea, not really. Your lives are so fleeting, over in the blink of an eye. Where are any of you when the eye opens, eh?"

He let River see the expression in his eyes then and she almost stepped back. He was irritated but there was fear too and determination to close himself off. Amy was right – something was wrong with the Doctor. He turned and stormed off, into the bowels of the TARDIS before anyone could say another word.

"How long has he been like that?" River asked, her eyes on the doorway he'd disappeared through.

"A few weeks," Amy revealed.

"Since he visited you," Rory added. "Or at least we think it was you. He said he needed to visit the old ball and chain. He stewed over it for a few days and then he took off."

"Did he?" River's brow arched.

"I told him not to call you that," Rory quickly added.

"So, did he visit you?" Amy asked hopefully.

"It's difficult to tell," River reminded them that time was a convoluted concept between her and the Doctor. "It's true, I haven't seen him for a few weeks, and when he visited then he was … different."

"Well, there you go," Amy nodded briskly. "Go and speak to him. Sort him out before he does something stupider than normal."

"I'll see what I can do," River promised, making her way down the same corridor the Doctor had used. She knew where his room was – he wouldn’t know yet that she knew, but even if she hadn't the TARDIS would have told her. The TARDIS liked her, enjoyed having her on board, and River suspected, enjoyed even more when the Doctor was happy. She was telling River that wasn't the case right now.

"I know dear," River murmured, resting her hand on one of the walls as she walked passed. "Don't worry, we'll sort him out."

"Go away," the Doctor said without turning around when she opened his door unannounced.

"Can't do that," River said lightly, stepping inside his room and closing the door behind her. It was cluttered but also organised, with various bits and pieces he'd picked up around the galaxy dotting every surface.

"Of course you can. You do it all the time – why not now?" The Doctor graced her with a single, disgruntled look, before turning away again.

"You know why not," River admonished. "Is this about the letter?"

"Aren't you worried about spoilers?"

"No. For now it seems we're travelling in the same direction," River replied.

"Novel," the Doctor's tone was sarcastic. "I'm sure it won't last."

"What's wrong?" River moved to his side, kneeling so that she could meet his eyes.

"Why does something have to be wrong?" the Doctor wouldn't look at her, casting his eyes anywhere but on her face. "Can't a man enjoy a good sulk without having to get a note from the teacher asking for permission?"

"Sulking is a perfectly acceptable occupation," River put a hand over his, "and if that was what this is, I'd happily leave you to it."

"What makes you think it isn't?"

"You're putting out too much emotion for a sulker. I can see it so don't bother denying it." She gasped when he finally looked directly at her. "You're angry … with me," she realised in a rush. "Why?"

"What do you want from me River?" the Doctor jumped up, moving away, his back to her.

"The truth," she said quietly.

"The truth?" he laughed harshly, turning to face her. "That's rich, coming from _you_. Isn't your favourite word 'spoilers' – a convenient excuse for every lie you've ever told me."

"You know the rules," River reminded him, trying to work out what was really going on here.

" _My_ rules," the Doctor returned. "Well, now the shoe is on the other foot, _sweetie_. It's your turn to see what it feels like, to want to know what the other person knows and have them refuse to tell you."

"This is about my future," River realised.

"No! Yes!" he growled in frustration, running his hands over his face and through his hair. "This is about our crazy life River. Aren't you tired of it? Because I am. I'm tired and I'm old and I'm not sure I want to do this anymore." He sat on his bed, the emotions dropping away leaving his shoulders slumped in defeat. It wasn't a picture she could accept.

"What can I do?" she asked, moving to sit beside him.

"Nothing," he said in a low tone. "There's nothing anyone can do."

"You always say that but it's never true," River reminded him. "There's always a solution."

"And if that solution breaks the biggest rules of all?" he asked, giving her a sideways glance.

"Aren't you the one who always says that time can be rewritten?" she teased with a faint smile. "The fact that you’re sitting there certainly proves that to be true."

"And how many problems have I caused?" the Doctor countered. "How many times have I risked the destruction of everything I hold dear, just to suit myself? When does it stop River?"

"I don't know," River sighed.

"If I wanted you to go and never come back, to leave me alone, would you?"

River caught her breath, the pain in the fact that he was actively considering it staggering. "I don't think that's up to me," she managed to get out.

"But if it was, could we stop this?" he gestured to the space between them.

"Why?"

"What do you really know of me, River Song?" he asked quietly. It was a strange sort of conversation, neither of them looking at the other, each determined not to let anything show.

"Enough to know that I'll never love anyone as much as I love you," she was so used to putting her emotions on the line for him but this time the hurt was there because she had to. He'd been in a similar situation when she was younger but it wasn't the same. He'd never had to bare his soul to gain her trust, not like she'd had to do with him. She’d _known_ , from the first moment she’d laid eyes on him … it had been as simple and as complicated as that one, single moment.

"Maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe what you feel for me is a rubbish sort of love but you just don't know any better. If you'd never known me, who's to say the love you'd find with someone else wouldn't be better?"

"I would say it," River said firmly.

"But you wouldn't know," the Doctor pointed out.

"Yes I would," River countered irritably. "Child of the TARDIS, remember? All those alternatives, there in the time vortex. The ones that are and the ones we stopped – I can still see them all. I _know_. Just as you do."

"I don't want this," he said firmly.

"I know that too," River said gently, "but we don't always get what we want. Sometimes, if we're very, very lucky, we get what we need instead."

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Remember that day, in Berlin?" she asked.

"Hard to forget," he replied.

"All I wanted was to get rid of the voices in my head telling me what I had to do," River said. "When I did that, when it all began to fade as though I'd never heard them at all, I just wanted freedom. Freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted. To _be_ what I wanted. No responsibilities, no pressures. Instead, I got you. You and this River Song you couldn't stop talking about. I was jealous even though it made no sense. And then I found out she was me. You put so much responsibility on me, so much expectation to become the woman you knew. It wasn't what I wanted, but it was what I needed."

"And you're saying I need whatever this is between us in the same way?" the Doctor frowned, his hands clenching and unclenching as he considered her words.

"You've been alone for a long time," River swallowed back the sudden urge to cry. It came upon her sometimes, when she thought about the life her Doctor led, founded in a monumental loss that was continually perpetuated in a small way with every companion who came and then went while he remained as he was. "You're scared to take the risk."

"No, _not_ scared," he denied forcefully. " _Pragmatic!_ It makes no sense River. I'm a Time Lord. I don't get any older, I just change - and I have no idea how old I'll get before I finally run out of regenerations. What time I could spend with you or any human for that matter is so fleeting. Like a single drop of rain in a storm during a long winter – one tiny, tiny part of one season of an entire year. The time I'd spend living with what I've lost would be so much longer ... that's something I just can't bear."

"Yes, any _human_ ," River agree. "Perhaps you've forgotten something about me sweetie," she smiled coyly, waiting. "Penny in the air," she teased as she watched his brain shift into Time Lord gear.

"Oh," his brow rose. "Oh!" He looked at her with an awkward kind of smile. " _Ooh!_ "

"Penny drops," her smile grew. "I may have given up the chance to swap this body in for another one but that doesn't make me human, not entirely. Timelord DNA, courtesy of the TARDIS. Haven't aged a day that I didn't want to."

"Just how old are you?" the Doctor eyes her suspiciously.

"A woman never reveals her age my love," she put seduction into her voice now. It wasn't their time to consummate what they had – he wasn't ready for that. She'd waited such a long time already, through the flirting that was never as serious as she wanted, through time shifting backwards and forwards and _always_ forcing her away from him, through so many adventures where they'd been so close, grown to trust each other, but still mostly as light hearted friends. That didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun.

"Right," he scratched at his cheek in that nervous manner of his and she laughed.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" she shifted closer, deliberately invading his space.

"We're sitting in my bedroom and you're eyeing me like I'm a particularly tasty meal when you haven't eaten for a long time," the Doctor returned, shifting away. "Of course I'm nervous."

"I'm sure that if you kissed me again we could take care of that, quick smart," River proposed.

"I don't think that's a good idea," the Doctor jumped up from the bed, hands twisting in front of him as he eyed her like he expected her to pursue.

"Maybe not, but I bet you're feeling better now," River smiled, content to stay where she was and tease him with a seductive posture.

"Distractions, River," the Doctor sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. "Fleeting and not particularly useful."

"So I ask again, what do you need?" River replied.

"Permission," the Doctor came to her this time, kneeling at her feet.

She looked down at him, this man, this amazing, wonderful man. She trusted him completely and yet she had to ask. "Permission to do what?"

"What you need but don't necessarily want. What _I_ need … what _I_ want," he replied. He looked up at her so imploringly that she found herself nodding.

"Do what you have to," she gave him that permission he sought.

" _Thank_ you," he jumped up, taking her face between his hands and kissing her exuberantly. "If I'm very, very good you'll never know the difference."

"Then be very, very good," River ordered, stern now. "Because if you end up killing yourself over this, I'll find a way to hunt you down and haunt you forever. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," the Doctor agreed with a small smile.


	7. Planet Commerce

After the conversation with River, the Doctor put aside all his doubts and focussed on what he needed to do to change his, and River's futures. Parts of his plan required that he wait until River came to her time in The Library naturally – that he wait for key events that had to happen _to_ happen – but thankfully most of what he intended he could implement whenever he was ready.

He still wasn't sure that he was on the right track. He'd spent too many hours in what passed for the night inside the TARDIS, alone in so complete a way that he found himself wondering if there was anyone else alive but him. Those were the times when he felt like he was in danger of outliving everything that mattered. The times when the idea of rearranging the future to stop just one more heartbreak seemed entirely plausible.

"Right, there are two things we need," he clapped his hands together, not caring that Amy and Rory had no idea what he was talking about. When he got to the stage of needing to go back to The Library he'd leave them at home – he'd try anyway. It would be too dangerous to take them with him, because of the Vashta Nerada and because of what would happen if they caught sight of River, or worse, if she caught sight of them. "A really big hard drive – no, bigger than big, _enormous_ , and a way to shield the TARDIS so that even my own sonic screwdriver can't pick her up."

"I don't suppose you're going to tell us why you need those things," Amy commented.

"Not on your life Pond," the Doctor whizzed past her, fiddling with a couple of dials and then pulling one of the primary levers. "Where would the fun be in that, eh?"

"Isn't that something River would say?" Amy teased.

"Yes, but maybe she learned it from me," the Doctor tapped her nose with a knowing twinkle in his eye as he whizzed past again in the opposite direction. More dials, more fiddling and he pushed up the last lever, sending the ship spinning off into the future.

"Where are we going?" Rory asked.

"Trouble with technology is there's always an upgrade so you never know when you're getting something that's as good as it gets," the Doctor explained, "unless you have access to the time vortex, in which case you can arrive just before the final collapse of the galactic economy, after which there will be no more upgrades." He spun and gave them a winning smile before striding down the steps towards the door. "Plagiarius Ineo, which literally translates as Planet Commerce." Pulling it open he peered outside before ducking his head back in to look at his companions. "So, are you coming?"

"Right behind you," Rory sounded less than enthusiastic. "Shopping," he muttered as he followed his wife. "We're in a blue box that's bigger on the inside than on the outside that travels through time and space, and he wants to go shopping."

"Oh, buck up Rory," the Doctor dismissed, standing outside the TARDIS and eyeing the scenery around them. A market of sorts, busy and noisy and alive – the kind of place that made time travel worth it. "Besides, it's not real shopping – it's the manly pursuit of manly items."

"For you maybe," Rory complained.

The Doctor looked up from the unidentified object he was examining to see Rory pointing to the stalls beyond them. Amy was already engaged in looking at the trinkets there – jewellery and other knick knacks only a woman would see a purpose for.

"Right," the Doctor acknowledged. "Sorry." He wasn't really – in fact he'd counted on Amelia Pond being like most women the worlds over when confronted with the opportunity to shop.

"Rory," Amy yelled, giving him the come here gesture.

With a sigh Rory turned and walked back to his wife.

"We'll meet back at the TARDIS later. Be careful!" the Doctor called out, watching for a few moments until the couple were obscured by the crowd.

Pulling out his sonic screwdriver, he activated it, holding it up as he turned in one direction and then shifted to the opposite one. Glancing at the readings he was getting – faint traces of energy output consistent with his requirements – he headed down an aisle, moving away from where Amy and Rory had gone.

The place was teeming with interesting things to look at; foods from across the galaxy, many of them hardly recognisable as edible; trinkets and gizmos; they all grabbed the Doctor's attention initially. Of course, the thing that interested him the most was the people and it didn't take long for him to notice something odd.

"Where are the men?" he wondered aloud, stopping and turning in a slow circle as he looked around. Many races were represented and you had to know your alien life forms to determine the gender of some of them – if indeed they had a gender at all - but if he wasn't mistaken (and let's face it, when did that ever happen?), he and Rory Williams were in all likelihood the only two males in the marketplace.

"Ignore it," he told himself, giving a female Catkind a half smile half grimace as he walked past. "Probably just a public holiday for men … they're all at home watching football or polishing their trophy collections … nothing to worry about at all." 

He'd always been crap at ignoring things – the more he told himself not to notice the more he couldn't help but do so. What he was noticing here had him thinking the men probably weren't on holiday, nice as that sounded. The expressions and the mannerisms as he walked past told their own story – he was either a grim reminder of something lost or a very rare treasure people would kill to acquire if given half the chance. When he saw a familiar looking figure – one of the humanoid Trees of Cheem he changed direction. He'd always liked the trees – still felt remorse over what happened to Jabe. They were honourable and he needed information before he could determine how worried he should be.

"Hello," he smiled, glancing to either side before leaning in just a bit. "I don't suppose you could spare a few minutes for a chat. I'm new here," he smiled again, giving her a hopeful, charming sort of look.

"You risk much coming here, human," the tree person replied.

"Really? What's so risky about here then?" he asked, not correcting her on his true species.

"There is nothing that cannot be bought and sold here," the tree eyes him intently and he shifted uncomfortably. "The rarer the item the larger the profit."

"Any particular rare items?"

"Are you so unaware of what is around you that you have not noticed what is here, and what is not?"

"Well, yes, of course I noticed the lack of maleness," the Doctor acknowledged. "I was hoping today was women's day in the markets – no men allowed and all that." He paused and then grimaced. "I take it from your expression that's not the case."

"It is not," the tree confirmed.

"What happened to all the men then?" the Doctor asked. He didn't actively glance around but he could feel the touch of many eyes upon him – if he were a fox his fir would be raised and he'd be poised for flight, the hunted to the hunters already closing in around him.

"Where have you been that you do not know this?" the tree looked suspicious now.

"Interesting thing, that," the Doctor gestured as he talked. "Because where I come from the division of the sexes is still roughly fifty fifty – well, maybe slightly in favour of the women but only just."

The tree person straightened, looming over him. "That is impossible."

"Not for me," the Doctor replied. "You're at the furthest end of history so you know that anything is possible. I've just popped in for the day – pick up a few things and then pop back to where we belong."

"That may not be possible," the tree warned. "Commerce can only occur under the strictest guidelines. Besides, your presence would have been noted as soon as you set foot on this planet. The Lady Armarium will have already sent her Clerics."

"Clerics," The Doctor winced. "Never been fond of them and I can only imagine they've gotten worse after thousands of years."

"Go then," the tree urged. Putting a hand to his shoulder, she pushed. "Go now!"

The Doctor glanced behind him. People in the aisle shifted aside as if by unspoken command, making way for a troop of twenty women who strode through. They were all purpose and dressed for battle – armed women on some kind of crusade were almost right at the bottom of his 'fun things to do' list.

"Thank you," he told the tree before spinning away and walking hurriedly back the way he'd come. The Clerics followed and it became a game of increasing his pace as he glanced over his shoulder, only to find them still advancing half a street behind.

Pulling out his TARDIS phone as he walked, he contacted Amy and Rory.

"Doctor," Amy sounded breathless as she answered. Breathless and anxious.

"Is Rory with you?" the Doctor demanded.

"Yes," Amy replied, "but we're being chased! There aren't any men here – how could you bring us to a place without any men?!"

"I didn't _know_ there weren't any men," the Doctor shot back, increasing his speed. "They forgot to mention it in the brochures. Are you safe for now?"

"We will be once we make it back to the TARDIS."

"No!" The Doctor shouted. "You need to find a place to hide Amy, you and Rory, until I tell you it's safe to come out."

"What's happened?" Amy demanded in a sharp tone. "Doctor, where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm on my way to the TARDIS too, and not exactly," he replied. "I think I'm about to be carted off for an audience with the person in charge around here."

"Why do th-," Amy's voice cut off abruptly.

"Amy, is everything all right?" the Doctor stood, listening intently, eyes narrowed. "Amy?"

"Soldiers," Amy whispered a few tense moments later. "I think they're searching for us."

"Stay down," the Doctor ordered, straightening as though preparing to do something, even though his options were limited.

"It's okay, they've gone past," Amy said in a normal voice.

"Are you safe?" he asked intently.

"We found a basement," Amy revealed. "Rory jimmied open the window and we managed to crawl inside. It looks pretty deserted – I don't think they'll come looking for us here."

"Good, that's good."

"What are you going to do?" Amy asked.

"What I came here for," the Doctor replied, "and before you ask, no I can't go elsewhere. This is when the technology exists and Ineo is the last remaining free market establishment from which to acquire it. Everything else is underground black market – believe me when I say you do not want to meet the people in charge of that!"

"I don't understand why this is so important," Amy protested.

"I know, and I can't explain it to you," the Doctor apologised. "You can help me Amy, by keeping yourself and Rory out of trouble until I tell you it's safe to return. Can you do that for me, please?"

"You'll be okay?" Amy asked.

"Of course – I'm always okay," he said confidently. He glanced over his shoulder again – the Clerics were gaining on him and there was no way he was making it all the way to the TARDIS.

"All right – we'll stay here, but don't take too long, or else we'll be forced to come looking for you," Amy warned.

"Change of plans," he announced. "Stay put for at least half an hour and then make your way back to the TARDIS. I'll return when I can – under no circumstances are you and Rory to leave the TARDIS, do you understand?" He put on his sternest voice, even though deep down he knew it was probably pointless. If he didn't get back to them quickly enough Amy would take matters into her own hands, with Rory aiding and abetting. "Just … be careful, okay," he added in a gentler tone.

" _You_ be careful," Amy shot back.

"Ah Pond, when will you tire of insisting on behaviour you know I can't possibly live up to," the Doctor teased, cutting off the connection before she could reply.

Changing directions in an unpredictable fashion he led the Clerics away from the TARDIS, away from Amy and Rory. Once he'd gotten far enough – as far as he was going to with the Clerics now in shouting distance, he halted. _Time for the direct approach_ , he thought, turning and giving his pursuers a charming smile.

"Hello," he began. "I must say it's quite flattering having a troop of lovely soldiers on my tail, but I have to admit to being curious. Why is it you're following me?"

"Your presence is requested by the Lady Armarium. Please come with us immediately."

"Ordinarily I'd love to meet your Lady – nothing better than having a good old chat with the nobility – but unfortunately I just can't spare the time today," the Doctor replied. "Way too much to do, sorry. You know how it is. Perhaps another day."

"No excuses are permitted when the Lady commands. If you do not accompany us voluntarily we will are required to bring you by force."

"I'm sure that force won't be necessary," the Doctor held out his hands in a casual, I'm not a threat manner.

"Come!"

The command was obvious. With a sigh the Doctor dropped his hands and did what they asked.


	8. No Men

They surrounded him, an armed escort of soldier females for the man who could stop an army with the mention of his name. That was until his apparent death when he'd decided a more undercover approach was warranted. As they walked, the market stalls fell away, replaced by a path through barren hills. In the distance a structure was just visible – they got closer and closer and the Doctor could see that it was like a modern castle – all concrete, harsh lines and a squareness that lacked imagination and style.

"Is this your Lady's residence?" he asked the cleric closest to him.

The Cleric looked at him but didn't answer.

"I suppose it must be," the Doctor looked at the structure again, grimacing. "I don't like it – too grey and square and boring."

Again the Cleric gave no response.

"Is it a crime for you to speak to me?" the Doctor challenged. "Do I really look that dangerous?"

"You are male," the Cleric declared.

"Ah yes, well – a crime indeed," the Doctor laughed. "So, what did all the men do then? Storm the castle? Start a war? Leave the toilet seat up one time too many?"

The Cleric went back to blank silence.

"Right, probably best not to respond," the Doctor acknowledged. "I probably wouldn't either."

He let himself be carried along up the final section of path and through the entrance way. The room was large and decorated with lots of things – the meaningless ornaments and whatnots people used to convey a degree of opulence. What interested him the most were the guards, situated at the entrances and windows. Since it looked like he wasn't going to be breaking his way out it seemed he'd have to talk his way out.

"This way," the head cleric in his little soldier troop ordered.

They walked forward through similarly decorated rooms until the Doctor judged they were at the very centre of the structure.

"The Lady Armarium," the cleric announced, dragging the doctor forward.

She sat on a throne of steel, polished until it gleamed, all metal curves with a back fashioned to frame the occupant. She was beautiful of course, but in a way that was cold – that created distance.

"Ah, hello," the Doctor stepped forward, clasping his hands together as he smiled.

"Who are you and what are you about coming to Plagiarius Ineo?" she asked, her voice low and cool – very unwelcoming.

"Right, who am I," the Doctor repeated. While it was unlikely they'd heard of him so far into the future it was probably best not to take chances - part of his new, undercover persona. "I'm John Smith," he introduced himself, "and I came here with the intention of shopping for a few items I find myself in need of, nothing more."

"Shopping?" The Lady Armarium tilted her head, one brow arched pointedly.

"I can see that you don't believe me, which is actually quite ironic because this time I am in fact telling the truth," the Doctor announced. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"There is an interdict on this planet Mr Smith," the Lady explained, "one that prevents the entry of anyone not female, regardless of species. An interdict that until this day I believed to be unbreakable."

"Oh," the Doctor pursed his lips as he considered the implications. Why hadn't the TARDIS picked up the restriction? " _Because she knows how much you want to save River and she knows this is the only place you can begin_ ," he answered his own question silently. "Maybe you need to check your systems, see if they're still working," he suggested.

"They are working," Armarium declared. "Tell me how you managed to pass through what should have been impervious. Where is your ship? Where are your companions?"

"I don't know, I don't have a ship, and what companions?" the Doctor answered. "Now, since I've answered your questions perhaps you can answer one of mine. Why was it necessary to restrict your residents and visitors to female only?"

"You jest!" The Lady cried. "How can you not know the state of this galaxy, of _all_ galaxies?"

"I don't get out much," the Doctor suggested. "Well, no, that's not true because actually I do, I get out _a lot_ , although clearly not to any of the places I'd need to be to know what you're talking about. I have an idea," he lifted a finger and grinned. "Why don't we assume I've been hiding under a rock for far too long? Fill me in."

"Very well," Armarium looked disgruntled at the necessity. "Plagiarius Ineo is the last centre of trade left in existence. We have stood alone in this manner for many years for one simple reason."

"No men?" the Doctor suggested.

"Precisely Mr Smith. No men," the Lady agreed. "Where once commerce was freely enjoyed in every direction, now all is laid deserted, because of men such as you."

"Now hang on," he protested. "We've only just met! I think it's a little unfair for you to judge me before we've gotten to know each other."

"All men are the same," Armarium dismissed, her expression one of distaste. "They lie and they cheat. They are irrational and petty in their squabbles and their need for power. It is these traits that led to the fall of galactic commerce. They will lead to the fall of civilisation as we know it."

"O-kay," the Doctor spun and took a few steps, thinking quickly, then spun back. There had to be some truth to what the lady said because he knew for having been there that civilisation did regress a long way from the heady days of progress and technology and wealth as it approached its end. "I can't argue with any of that except for one thing. All men aren't equal. I've come across more than a few who were exceptional. Take my friend Rory for example. Rory Williams. The Last Centurion. Did you know that he stuck around for 2000 years with no concession to his own personal desires, all to protect the woman he loves? You can't get more noble and selfless than that!"

"Is this Rory Williams one of your companions?"

"Ah," he shook his head, amused. "Nice try my Lady, but I think we've already established that I have no idea what you're talking about there. Companions," he scoffed. "Do I look like the kind of man who needs companions?"

"I do not care what kind of man you are," Armarium declared. "Your freedom here violates the core beliefs of my people."

"My freedom," the Doctor muttered, "not my presence. That doesn't sound good, not good at all." Eyes narrowed he regarded the Lady. "Tell me, if men aren't allowed here, how do you ensure the continuation of your race?" He waved a hand vaguely to signify the full range of procreation subjects he really didn't want to go into in any detail.

"I never said men were not allowed Mr Smith," the Lady Armarium smiled – it was all cunning and calculating and frankly a bit scary as far as the Doctor was concerned. She nodded to the Clerics on either side of him and they immediately stepped forward, each grabbing one of his arms.

"Hang on, let's not be hasty here," he protested. "Perhaps there are things I can do to help you."

"There is only one thing you can do," Armarium replied, "and for that we do not need your cooperation. There is a market for all things Mr Smith, including the means to allow women the galaxy over to procreate. Our facilities here, the men we keep in service, ensure that this is possible. Business is very, very good. If you behave well you will find life here is not so bad."

"Never been very good at behaving well," the Doctor muttered. He tugged at his arms but knew it was a lost cause for now. They were determined to retain his presence – he needed time and some thinking space to work out how he was going to get himself out of this one. "Fine, I'll play along for now," he said as though it were still his free choice. "But don't say down the track that I didn't warn you. You'll regret this."

"I think not Mr Smith," The Lady Armarium seemed very comfortable with her decision. "Take him," she ordered her clerics.

* * *

"It's been too long," Amy paced back and forth in the TARDIS control room, arms folded over her chest. "It has, hasn't it?" she looked over at her husband.

"Probably," Rory agreed, knowing he was going to regret whatever Amy suggested next.

"What do we do?" Amy didn't stop. "Should we go out there and look for him? No, no, we can't do that because they'll grab you as soon as we go outside. It'll have to be me – I can look around without suspicion."

"No way," Rory grabbed her on the next pass, holding both her arms to get her attention. "It's too dangerous for _either_ of us to go out there. We don't even know what's going on here Amy. We'll be no help to the Doctor if we get ourselves caught."

"You're right, I know you are," Amy's eyes pleaded for him to understand, "but I can't just sit here and do nothing. There are no men here Rory. What do you think they do with them?"

"Nothing good," Rory grimaced. "Look, I want to go and find him as much as you do but he'd never forgive us if we just rush out there blindly. You know how he is Amy."

"Fine," Amy nodded.

"Fine?" Rory frowned, eyeing his wife carefully. "You have an idea, I can see it!"

"The TARDIS can find him, yeah?" Amy queried.

"She must be able to," Rory agreed. He didn't exactly have proof of it but there'd been times in the past when that would be the only explanation. "Have you forgotten something though?"

"I know, neither of us can fly her," Amy agreed, "but we do know someone who can."

"River," Rory frowned. He had faith in his daughter but there was still one problem. "She's not here Amy. We are." It was a source of continual frustration for him – as a father he should be able to get in contact with his child whenever he wanted to. Instead River had the control – she dropped in and then left again at her own whim. They had no way of influencing that. They could make a request through conventional channels which took time.

"I know that too," Amy grinned. "The TARDIS loves her though. I'm sure if we begged hard enough she'd send River a message."

"Right," Rory watched as Amy put her hands to the console, closing her eyes. With a resigned sigh he copied her, feeling stupid the entire time.

" _Um … hello?_ " he thought, not expecting anything in return. What he'd forgotten was the time when the TARDIS had been a woman and called him the pretty one. She'd communicated telepathically with him then … and if he wasn't mistaken she was doing it now. He felt the question pressing on him – what was wrong? " _What did Amy do back then? Think Rory!_ " he told himself. Pictures and concepts! That was it. Eyes still closed he pictured River in his mind, then the TARDIS, then the Doctor, then a volcano. He wanted something that looked dangerous to signify the Doctor was in trouble and that was the first thing to occur to him. And then he repeated the sequence in his mind. _River, TARDIS, Doctor, Disaster._ Over and over again.

The door swung open. "Well, this is becoming a habit, isn't it?"

Eyes snapping open Rory turned. There stood River, dressed for a rescue mission, smiling widely. "Hello Mummy, Hello Daddy. What trouble has he gotten himself into this time?"


	9. Provision Epsilon Charlie

What had started as a simple little adventure had gotten serious in a disturbing way. As the clerics led the Doctor through the corridors of the Lady's residence, he wondered not for the first time why simple things couldn't just _be_ simple.

The corridors narrowed and the doors on either side got closer together – and the mood became ominous and creepy. He didn't like it. The clerics weren't big on conversation either. Without a word they stopped at one of those doors, both pressing a thumb simultaneously to the sensor pad. The Doctor watched as readings flashed past.

" _Oh_ ," he declared, "it's a DNA scanner locking mechanism! Only opens for you two. I assume if either one of you isn't here it won't open? Ingenious."

They neither denied or confirmed, standing firm as the door slid open and then pushing him inside. He stumbled towards the far wall, righting himself and turning just in time to see the door close again.

"Right," he stood, considering his options. "Well, this is inconvenient." Lucky for him they hadn't searched him, like so many others assuming that a tweed jacket couldn't possibly hold anything useful. Pulling his screwdriver out he waved it over the lock, holding it up to see what he had. "Not good," he grimaced.

The lock wasn't going to open, not with the standard settings he had available to him. If he were on the other side of the door he could scan the sensor pad and pull off the DNA sequences he needed, feed them back through the screwdriver and trick the lock into opening. Of course, he wasn't on that side of the door – he'd hardly need to open the door if he was.

The guards would have come into the room at some stage though, surely. Perhaps they'd touched the door frame or the wall or even the floor. If he were lucky they had, and recently enough for DNA residue not to have deteriorated.

Moving carefully and slowly about the room the Doctor searched for anything useable. There were DNA traces here and there, coming from more than two distinct individuals. By the time he'd covered his entire cell, he had thirty eight different samples with enough of the sequence to be useable.

"Only seven hundred and three combinations to try," he muttered, wishing he had his tools so he could program his screwdriver to run through them all automatically. Since he couldn't do that he'd have to do it manually, in a systematic fashion to be assured he didn't miss any.

With a resigned sigh he selected the first two samples and aimed the screwdriver at the door. The lock remained fixed. "One down, seven hundred and two to go."

He was down to about half way without success when the sound of booted feet approaching alerted him. He had just enough time to conceal the screwdriver before the door swished open and two clerics entered.

"You will come with us," one declared.

"Really? Because it's not necessary. I'm quite enjoying my time here – one rarely gets the chance to experience true peace and quiet."

"Now," the first guard glared at him, exchanging a glance with her companion before the two women grabbed an arm each in unison.

"Well, since you asked so nicely," the Doctor smiled, letting them drag him forward.

They escorted him to a different room, its purpose all too obvious. "I'm not going to like this, am I?" he looked around curiously, taking in the equipment and the cold examination table with its straps in ominous looking positions.

"We will make it as painless as possible," Lady Armarium stepped from a small side office to greet him.

"Ooh, you do these experiments yourself, do you?" the Doctor looked at her grimly. "And you profess to say it is the men who seek power. Shame on you."

"Silence!" Armarium glared at him. Good, he was getting to her.

"The truth often isn't palatable but that doesn't make it any less truthful," he offered. "You've committed offenses here but it's not too late to turn this around."

"You are wrong Mr Smith," she replied grimly. "It has been too late for many generations. What we do here only delays the inevitable. Your attempts to inspire my remorse are pointless … everything we do now is pointless because the end will still come, for us all."

"You don't really believe that," the Doctor replied. "How could you when what you're doing here is selling hope. Oh, don't get me wrong, its origins are founded on the worse cruelty and you peddle it through the scum of the universe, but the end result is the same. You're selling a future, Lady. Don't tell me you've given up all hope."

She turned away, stiff postured, but perhaps not unreachable.

"I can help," he promised. "Stop this now and I'll do what I can. You have my word."

It was the wrong thing to say; he knew it as soon as the words left his mouth.

"The word of a man is like water in the desert," she spat out. "Too often a mirage; when real, too weak to withstand the force of the sun which consumes it." She motioned to an assistant, standing ready to act. "Restrain him."

He'd been right. The table was cold and hard, the experience of having his wrists and ankles restrained a humiliation he'd lived through before but always hoped he'd never have to again.

"Don't do this," he pleaded, trying his best not to make it too easy for them.

"Prepare the sedative," Armarium ordered.

The Doctor tugged at wrists and ankles – the leather straps were tight. He was at the point of conceding that he'd have to let what was going to happen, happen – do damage control down the track because he couldn't let anyone get a sample of Time Lord DNA – when his fortunes took a turn in the right direction.

The door to the laboratory blew inwards with an almighty racket, the explosion of sound accompanied by plumes of dark grey smoke that filled the entrance, obscuring everything. The scene seemed frozen as they all squinted, trying to see through the clouds.

The smoke cleared and there stood River Song, looking all magnificent and sexy as she blew the smoke from the tip of her gun. "I believe you have something that belongs to me," she smiled, levelling the weapon at the Lady Armarium. "I'd like him back."

"Hello dear," the Doctor lifted one of his restrained hands in a little wave, keeping his annoyance and his questions for later. River ignored him, all her attention on the Lady.

"This man is your property?" Armarium eyed River suspiciously. "He made no mention that he was already claimed."

"That's because sometimes he's just a little bit thick," River replied, glancing over at him. "No offence Sweetie."

"None taken," he replied.

"You see, Lady Armarium, he gallivants here and there on a regular basis and very rarely does he think to check his database for information on the places he lands," River continued. "If he'd done that this time he'd have discovered the interdict and he'd have left again." She looked at him again. "Isn't that right dear?"

"Guilty as charged," the Doctor admitted with a shrug. "If you know everything there is to know then there's really no point in visiting anywhere, is there?"

"Now that we understand the status of your world I think the best thing for everyone is for us to leave," River finished. "No harm done."

"You wish to enforce your claim on this man?" Armarium asked. Her expression wasn't complimentary as she eyed the Doctor for a moment before looking back to River.

"I know, on the surface he doesn't look like much," River agreed. "But he is mine and in this day and age a girl can't afford to be choosey."

"Hey!" the Doctor actually pouted a little at the unflattering assessment.

"Silence my Love," River cautioned, her eyes sending him a different message than her words. She was negotiating and things were at a delicate point. "Yes, I wish to claim this man, under provision Epsilon Charlie of the Plagiarius Ineo business charter."

"You have proof?" Armarium asked.

"Of course," River smiled, reaching into her jacket pocket and removing her data unit. Keying a rapid command she handed the unit to Armarium.

The Lady glanced at it for a moment and then looked at the Doctor. "A pity," she murmured. "Our customers could do with an influx of fresh genetic material. I don't suppose we could strike a deal."

"Not this time," River smiled. "Besides, he really is more trouble than he's worth. Your customers wouldn't thank you for those particular genetic traits."

"Hey!" The Doctor felt the need to protest again.

"Then take him," Armarium conceded, nodding for her assistants to release the Doctor.

He stood up, rubbing his wrist even though he hadn't been restrained for long. "Ah, River?" the Doctor hesitated.

"Oh, what is it now sweetie?" River knew that tone too well.

"There's just one tiny problem with leaving," he replied. "I'm here for a reason. I can't leave until I have what I came for."

"And that would be?"

"None of your business," he winced when her gaze sharpened. "Spoilers," he added quickly, hoping that would be enough to head her off.

She looked like she didn't quite believe him. "You always have to make things difficult," she said grimly.

"Me? What about you, sending out 'rescue me' messages, falling off of roof tops and out of spaceships and just expecting me to turn up," the Doctor shot back. "I didn't ask you to come here to rescue me either – I had everything under control."

"Oh really?" River arched a brow at him, smirking. "You didn't mind that they were about to harvest your sperm direct from the source and sell it to the highest bidder?"

"Well, yes," the Doctor winced at her bluntness and just barely resisted the temptation to move his hands into a 'protective' gesture around that source, "of course I mind!"

"Then what are you complaining about?" River spun suddenly, firing her weapon in rapid succession until she'd stunned everyone in the room. It was fast as hell and impressive and again, more than a little scary.

"Look what you did," he swallowed nervously, eyeing the unconscious clerics incredulously.

"What was necessary," River said calmly. "It's time to leave my Love. Amy and Rory are waiting with the TARDIS just outside."

"I meant what I said River," the Doctor stood firm. "I can't leave until I have what I came for."

"And how do you suppose we do that when these people refuse to trade with you?" River demanded. "They operate under a strict code of business practice; something you would have known if you'd bothered to check. The rules that made it possible to secure your release also make it impossible for you to trade with them. So either you tell me what you need so that I can acquire it, or we leave now."

"What, no third option?" he demanded, irritated that she was right. He should have checked planetary law before trotting out into the unknown. It wouldn't have been as entertaining but in this case he should have kept to his primary objective.

"We could steal it," River grinned suddenly. "I do enjoy a good bit of larceny."

"I'm not stealing anything," he protested. "I have every intention of paying."

"Then we're going to need a distraction," River declared. Before he could protest again she was striding through the lab door.

He knew if he stood there long enough she'd realise he wasn't following and come back. Sure enough, a few moments later she poked her head around the door frame. "Coming?"

"What are you intending to do?" he asked, suspicious as always that her means would justify the ends, important as they were to him.

"Create a distraction, nothing more," she replied casually, moving back inside the lab. "While everyone is looking elsewhere you can go in and grab what you need and leave them your payment, if you must."

"What kind of distraction?" he walked forward until he was standing in the doorway, blocking her.

"Simple my Love," River smiled meaningfully. "We release all the men."

"We can't do that!" the Doctor protested. "How do we know that isn't what leads to the end? I've been there River, the very last point in time – it's not pretty. If it's all the same to you I'd prefer not to discover that we caused the end of everything!"

"Oh hush now," River pushed past him, moving quietly down the corridor.

"Hush," he muttered, glaring after her. "I'm talking about the fall of civilisation and she says hush!"

At the first cell door she stopped. "Give me your screwdriver," she demanded, holding out a hand.

He hesitated but in the end she was helping him to save her in the future … the past … _their_ future. If he was willing to rewrite time then breaking into a few cells was hardly a deal breaker.

"Thank you," she smiled at him as she took the screwdriver. Pointing her data unit at it, she made some adjustments, throwing him a mischievous smile before aiming it at the door. He had samples of all the cleric guards – she'd reprogrammed it much as he'd wanted to. The green light pulsed as the program matched DNA samples automatically into pairs of two until the right combination released the lock.

When the door swished open, they both peered inside. All at once the Doctor believed that River had been right – they had to release these men, regardless of the need to distract anyone. The man in front of them was gaunt and pale enough it must have been years since he'd seen the sunlight. He looked the opposite of someone who'd been rewarded for services to the commerce planet, and also nothing like a protestor who'd not cooperated.

"She lied!" the Doctor hurried forward, intent on reassuring the man.

"Of course she lied," River agreed, staying back.

"It's all right," the Doctor bent low, his tone gentle. "We're here to free you."

"Free me?" the man's voice was almost non-existent, scratchy from lack of use. That wasn't the sad part – it was the way he said the words 'free me', as if the concept was so foreign to him they might as well have been speaking different languages.

"Get you out of here," the Doctor tried to explain. "Can you stand?"

The man still looked confused. In the end the Doctor went for unspoken action, gently urging the man to his feet and then slowly out into the corridor. When he saw River the man cringed, shrinking back until he was cowering behind the Doctor.

"I'll release the other doors," River said, giving the man a sympathetic look.

"How long is that stun likely to last?" the Doctor queried.

"Long enough," she promised.

"It's okay," the Doctor said as she walked away. "River's cool – not from around here, neither of us are. She's not a part of what's been done to you."

The man didn't say anything and the tension didn't ease appreciably. "Come on, let's get the rest of your people," the Doctor proposed, hoping the action of helping other men get free would relax him.

They made their way down the corridor, gathering a growing group of pale, silent men as they went. Eventually they reached the point where the numbers themselves began to lend the former prisoners a measure of confidence.

"What now?" the first man asked the Doctor hesitantly.

 _Good question_ , he thought. What now indeed. These men were weak and in no condition to stage any kind of uprising. They'd be defeated as soon as he and River left.

"There's a space port at the edge of the city – mainly for shipping products in and out," River revealed. "We could commandeer a ship – take them somewhere safe until they regain their strength."

"Great, more stealing," the Doctor muttered.

River waited, knowing he'd have to agree that her plan was best.

"Fine, do it," he capitulated.

"It's a long walk through the village, and you have that business to attend to," River reminded him. "We could do with some help."

"You want to bring your parents into this?" the Doctor wasn't keen on either of his friends seeing how sad and pathetic their race became.

"No, but we don't have unlimited time," River replied. "They're just outside the doors."

Of course they were. He really had to have a talk with his TARDIS about letting anyone other than him fly her. "Arg!' he growled, spinning away. When he turned back she held out the TARDIS communicator wordlessly.

"Rory, Amy," he said as jovially as he could muster.

"Doctor! You're okay! River found you," Amy cried.

"Yes, and we'll talk about that later," he promised. "For now, meet us at the entrance. We've got work to do."

In the end Amy and Rory took charge of the freed prisoners, their expressions full of sympathy. River had been right – they needed to do this, and Rory proved himself ideally suited to the task. He had a calm caring side to him – his nurse persona perhaps – that put the men at ease, enough that they didn't cringe away when he insisted that his wife was to help too.

They made slow progress through the town while River went ahead to secure transportation. The Doctor followed along – as they walked past stall after stall the proprietors emerged, standing silent as they watched the procession pass by. They hadn't committed offences against the prisoners personally but they had all been aware of the situation and done nothing to correct it. Some cried when confronted with the consequences of the interdict but others watched without expression.

It proved easy for the Doctor to slip into the back of one of the businesses – the one with the hard drive upgrade he needed. He located it quickly – so small he could put it in his pocket but so powerful The Library would never run out of space. Leaving sufficient credits to cover the expense he left, hurrying to catch up to Amy and the others.

"Did you get it?" she asked quietly.

"Yes I did," he replied.

"And was it worth it," Amy looked sadly at the men walking in front of them.

"Freeing all of these people so they can live out the rest of their lives to a much higher standard isn't part of anything else," the Doctor clarified.

"Of course," Amy acknowledged. Going away empty handed would have still made their trip worthwhile. "It's just so sad, you know."

"What is?"

"Seeing how low the human race gets," Amy replied. "The breakdown of trust between men and women and the desperation and futility of life. I expected the future to be different I suppose, lighter."

"And it is, for a very long time," the Doctor put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her close. "The human race shines so brightly that the light never truly fades. But in the way of creation, all things must end, the small and the big."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to give up without a fight," Amy returned.

"No, it doesn't," he agreed quietly. "Sometimes giving up isn't an option."

* * *

True to her word River had located a ship large enough to take all the men from Plagiarius Ineo away. She and the Doctor consulted on where to take them, agreeing on a planet in a neighbouring system that looked to have a strong military presence who would be receptive to an influx of potential recruits. The women of Ineo wouldn't risk going there in an effort to get their men back. The only drawback was that the pilot refused to fly them, leaving River to volunteer her services.

"You'll be okay?" the Doctor stood on the bridge of the stolen ship, watching River prep it for flight.

"Of course," River smiled. "The controls are unfamiliar but I've always been a quick study. Don't worry about me."

"I always worry about you."

"And isn't that sweet of you," River gave him one of her sultry looks but he wasn't in the mood to appreciate it, or to flirt back.

"No, it isn't sweet, River," he declared, walking towards her. "It's inconvenient and frustrating. I don't like it, not at all."

"We are what we are my Love."

"What did you show her?" The Doctor changed the subject abruptly. It had been on his mind since the lab, when the Lady Armarium had demanded proof of River's claim on him.

River didn't pretend not to know what he was talking about. "Spoilers," she answered without her usual mischief.

"River," he warned.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," she offered pointedly.

He too didn't pretend not to know what she meant. He put a hand in his pocket, feeling the data drive upgrade resting there, so small and innocuous.

"I didn't think so," she said sadly when he didn't answer. "It's lucky for us those spoilers exist. I couldn't have gotten inside the complex without them."

"They do come in handy," he agreed, thinking of another day and another impossible situation where the spoiler of his name had gained both gained his trust and saved his and Donna's lives. "Thank you for coming," he said.

"You're welcome," River smiled. "Although, you didn't look happy to see me."

"One never likes to admit that one might need help," he answered vaguely.

"So we're good?" she unknowingly echoed her older self's words.

"We're good," he put a hand to her cheek, content to just look at her. She was so beautiful, so full of energy and life, so smart. It was unacceptable that she would ever be otherwise.

"Doctor?" she frowned, assessing him intently.

"I'm fine," he assured her, removing his hand and stepping back. "Until next time?"

"Next time," she promised.

He hesitated for a moment. _Is that all?_ he asked himself. No. Before he could talk himself out of it he pulled River into his arms and kissed her. Then, without a word he turned and strode away.


	10. Pseudonym

After Plagiarius Ineo the Doctor had the means to return to The Library and make the crucial changes necessary to rewrite River's ending – and therefore _his_ ending too. As with all of his plans, this one had evolved in his mind, to the point that his intentions now had less chance of affecting his younger self but a higher degree of risk that something would go wrong.

He needed to be there, at the point when River plugged the chair into the mainframe. Be there, but be undetectable during a sequence of events when his younger self had actively scanned pretty much everything within sonic screwdriver range. The idea made him jittery and on edge, more so because he had no idea if it was even possible for the TARDIS to hide from the Doctor. Would his younger self sense the presence of another time lord or had he been distracted enough by the mystery of River and the danger of the Vashta Nerada that something ordinarily pretty big could slip by?

He was actually contemplating crossing his own timeline – well, not crossing it as such, more like parking on the edges of it. Not once, but twice because before he did it when the stakes were as high as they could get he needed to test out his theories.

"But when," he mused, thinking back over his adventures for one that was similar enough to be a good test case. "Ah, I know," he grinned. "London, 2008. Adipose!" He wouldn't need long – a few minutes should do it. Deciding against telling Rory and Amy he was landing the TARDIS the Doctor did something he'd never willingly done before. He took the brakes off so that the time machine wouldn't make its characteristic sound.

"The things I do for you, River Song," he muttered, thinking of other times when River had strode around the console after him, flipping levers and pressing buttons while he pretended he didn't notice. "Activate cloak," he requested, putting a hand on the console where he felt closest to the vortex that was his TARDIS. "We need to be invisible old girl. Do you think you can do that for us, please?"

He waited a few moments and then some instinct, the connection between time lord and machine forged over millennia, had him moving. He opened the door and took a quick peak outside. The TARDIS was in a narrow alleyway beside what looked like a small group of shops, surrounded on all sides by residential housing. Stepping fully outside he took the precaution of locking the door before walking a few steps away. Turning he grinned – the TARDIS was invisible to the naked eye – a good start. He focused on where he knew she stood and decided it felt no different than any other part of the street.

Walking to the corner he took up position beside one of the power line poles, standing behind it and in the shadows so that he'd be able to watch the street without being noticed. A few minutes later the sound of footsteps heralded the arrival of someone to the deserted street. With a jolt the Doctor realised it was his younger self, his tenth incarnation. He'd had speed back then and Ten was using it to chase down something on his sensor equipment. He paused almost directly opposite the alleyway the Doctor stood in, waving his instrument backwards and forwards before it beeped and he took off again. All without any indication that he'd noticed anything out of the ordinary. Thinking back on the night, altered now because he’d been there twice, the Doctor grinned – his younger self had definitely suspected nothing. No sense of the TARDIS beyond his own version of it, and nothing unusual in his equipment. The fact that he was still standing there was good too – he'd not inadvertently destroyed time by touching the edges of his own timeline.

He'd stepped into the light to watch Ten disappearing around a corner. Turning back to the alley, his mind on the future and the past, the Doctor was knocked to the ground before he realised what had happened.

"Ouch," he muttered, wincing. Pushing his hair out of his eyes he looked up. This time the jolt was enough he actually gasped, covering it quickly with a cough, as he looked at the woman standing over him.

Donna Noble. _His_ Donna, just as she'd been all those years ago when she'd invited herself to become his companion.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry," Donna rushed out, reaching down a hand to help him up.

He let her, dusting off his pants and fiddling with his bowtie as he tried not to look at her too closely. "And so you should be too," he declared, eager to see what she'd say next.

"Oi, don't you blame me Mister," Donna's brow rose. "Haven't you heard of looking both ways? You came out of nowhere – and you certainly weren't paying attention."

"Perhaps we should share the blame then," the Doctor suggested, smiling winningly.

"Maybe," Donna allowed, her gaze sharpening as she really looked at him. "What are you wearing?" she looked down her nose, eyeing him with a mix of distaste and curiosity.

"A bow tie," he replied smugly, straightening it again without thinking. "Bow ties are cool."

"And _tweed_?" Donna added incredulously. "Is tweed cool too?"

"This isn't just any old tweed. It's infinity tweed – impervious to everything, including insults," he grinned.

Donna laughed. He knew she was finding herself strangely charmed by this young man who was both a stranger and yet strangely familiar too. It was all he could do not to sigh wistfully because he really, really wanted to tell her who he was, when it was still possible that he could. "What's your name?" she asked.

"My name," the Doctor repeated stupidly. Of course, his name – because Donna wouldn't go past a half way eligible man willing to stop and talk to her without asking for his name. Especially not one giving every appearance of being captivated by her. "Ah Smith … John Smith."

"You're kidding," Donna chortled. "John Smith … is that like a pseudonym or something?"

"John Smith happens to be a perfectly serviceable name," he said stiffly.

"Yeah, but Smith," Donna laughed some more. " _Smith_ ," she repeated. "It's so … common."

"What's your name then?" he shot back even though he already knew.

"Donna Noble," she declared.

 _Donna Noble has left the library. Donna Noble has been saved._ He could hear her saying those words over and over and remember what he'd felt when he'd thought his friend was gone … and here she stood with no idea who he was. If only he could spare her the lows to come; find a way to let her keep the highs.

"Okay, you've got me," he said, shaking off the maudlin thoughts. "Your name is cool … cooler than John Smith."

"So, what are you doing in London then?" Donna asked. She smiled up at him – it was her 'I'm interested in you, what do I need to do to make you interested in me too?' face.

"Just passing through," he steadied himself and then continued. "Actually I'm looking for something for my ah … for my wife." It was the first time he'd referred to River by that title, and though it wasn't true yet, it would be so it wasn't like he was lying as such.

"Typical," Donna scowled, adding under her breath, "all the good ones are taken." She seemed disgruntled but then shook off the bad mood and patted his arm. "Do you need help then, finding this thing for your wife?"

"You're a wonderful girl Donna Noble," he said, putting his hand over hers. "Don't let anyone ever tell you differently."

"If I were so wonderful I'd be married already," Donna said sarcastically, laughing. "Still, you never know what's around the corner, right? Especially my corner, with any luck." She laughed at a joke she thought only she understood – because she'd been so positive she'd find the Doctor again. "So, do you need help?"

"Not at this time, thank you," the Doctor replied.

"Right then," Donna smiled. "I've got to go – I'm looking for a friend."

"You'll find him," the Doctor promised.

Donna frowned. "Hang on, how do you know it's a he? I never said."

"Lucky guess," he smiled. "It's been a pleasure to meet you Donna Noble. I wish you luck on your quest."

Before she could reply he gave her a small bow and then spun on his heel and strode off. When he got to the corner he glanced back to see her still watching him. Lifting a hand to acknowledge her he had to smile when she turned and hurried off – uncomfortable he knew with being caught watching him walk away.

"Donna, Donna," he murmured. "What am I to do with you?" That's when it came to him. He'd be at The Library anyway – he couldn't change things for Donna there and then but perhaps he could do something to bring Lee McAvoy to her in the future, if indeed it turned out the man she’d married had been real like she’d believed. She'd have no memory of the events in that pretend world but if the connection she'd shared with her pretend husband was real, then maybe they could recreate it – in the real world this time.

Retracing his steps he returned to the alleyway where the TARDIS remained hidden. Of course he bumped into it before he managed to find the door, unlocking it quickly and stepping inside.

"I can't believe you locked us in!" Amy was almost growling she was so angry with him. "What if we'd needed to get out, huh? There could have been a fire or something!"

"I was gone for a few minutes at most," the Doctor defended himself. "You could just as easily have never realised the door was locked."

"Where were you?" Amy demanded. "Where are _we_?"

"Nowhere in particular, and we're not staying," the Doctor pushed past her and all but leapt to the console, rapidly firing up the systems and requesting that the TARDIS take him anywhere that wasn't here. Once they'd taken off he turned back to Amy and Rory, folding his arms over his chest and waiting for one of them to speak.

"Right, this has gone on long enough!" Amy stood in front of him and folded her arms over her chest, mirroring him. "Either you tell us what's going on or we're out of here."

"Uh -," Rory began but was silenced with a slicing glance from his wife.

"Amelia Pond," the Doctor felt suddenly sad … and too old to lose another companion to circumstances he couldn't change. "Has it really come to this?"

"Doctor," Amy looked like she wanted to relent. Of course she was so stubborn she wouldn't do it unless he gave her something too.

"Well, this is a right old mess, isn't it," the Doctor tried to smile but his hearts weren't in it. "You'd really leave?" he sounded wistful and he couldn't look at her. Didn't want her to see how important her answer was to him.

"Of course not, you big doofus," Amy smacked his arm, glaring at him, exasperated. "But don't you ever lock us in here again, okay?"

"O-kay," the Doctor hurried forward and wrapped his arms around Amy. "Ah – permission?" he remembered to ask belatedly.

"I suppose, under the circumstances," Rory said with his usual reluctance.

The Doctor held Amy tightly, sighing. "I promise that one day I'll tell you everything," he muttered close to her ear. "Just please, trust me until then."

Amy nodded, hugging him back just as tightly.

"Okay, that's enough," Rory announced, stepping up to tap the Doctor on the shoulder. "Unhand my wife," he ordered, sounding very like the Roman centurion he'd never been and yet still remembered.

"Unhanding her now," the Doctor squeezed one last time before reluctantly letting go. Grinning, he pulled Rory in for a hug too, slapping his friend on the back fondly before breaking away. "Right, good. This is good," he smiled.

"Where are you taking us to now," Amy asked, everyone striving for their normal banter and camaraderie.

"I have absolutely no idea," the Doctor admitted. "Gave the TARDIS her head. Shall we see where she's taken us?"

"Geronimo," Amy teased.


	11. Darillium

In the manner of a Time Lord, the Doctor put it off as long as he could, the final playing out of events with River. He visited her at her house as many times as he dared, the dates jumping backward and forward through the days she'd lived there in a seemingly random fashion. Sometimes he gave the pretence of being further back in his timeline than he actually was, because to do otherwise might arouse her suspicions about his state of mind. The last thing he needed was for her to start thinking that he was up to something.

Eventually though he had to stop. He was ready. Ready to go back to The Library and save River. 

He'd planned as much as he could, worked out what he'd have to do to achieve success. There was only one question left unanswered in his mind. Did he marry River before he left or after he'd saved her? If by chance she summoned him for such an event before the day was out, could he commit his future to her without knowing they'd have a future together?

The paradox of their relationship was never more apparent – he could go to The Library without a marriage, without telling her his name, and see a version of her where those events had happened, as long as he lived up to the future history at some point. He didn't contemplate what would happen if he wasn't successful – if he couldn't bring himself to marry her knowing how it would end then the consequences could be as catastrophic as when River had refused to play along with something they both knew happened.

"You won't have to worry about that old man," he told himself. Positive attitude, that's what he needed, something he'd never been short of. He didn't have to worry about destroying time again because he wasn't going to fail. It wasn’t a requirement that they 'do the deed' first – that was something he'd look forward to once their future was assured. He did want to see her though, one last time before making his own journey to The Library, enough that he'd dressed up for the occasion.

"Amy, Rory," he called loudly, striding towards the control console. "Ponds!" he shouted when they didn't immediately respond.

"What now?" Amy rushed from the corridor, frowning. She eyed him in surprise. "Did you cut your hair?" She looked closer. "Are you dressed in a _tux_?"

"Yes and yes again," the Doctor said briskly. "I need you to make yourselves scarce. How did Craig put it? Oh, that's right," he grinned. "I'm giving you a shout," he put extra emphasis on the last word.

"What?" Amy clearly didn't get it.

"A _shout_ ," he said again, slowly.

"He's got a date," Rory explained as he arrived in the control room.

"A date?" Amy made it sound like she'd never heard the word before.

"Yes, a date," the Doctor repeated. "No need to react like that Pond. I have been on a date before you know, more than once. How do you think River filled up that diary?"

"I know," Amy replied, "just … well, you usually wait until we're asleep and then sneak out."

"I don't sneak," the Doctor denied. "In most places it would be called consideration for one's house mates … well, TARDIS mates in this case but you get the idea."

"So, you're going on a date with River?" Amy smiled, looking way too interested. "A special date?"

"She was returning from a birthday date when I asked her to come to Demon's Run," Rory remembered. "Said you took her to eighteen something and Stevie Wonder sang."

"Ah, Stevie," the Doctor reminisced. "Good man – excellent voice. That was quite a night." He gave them both an expectant look. "Right – off you go. Be scarce."

"You won't even know we're here," Rory promised, grabbing Amy's hand and dragging her away before she could quiz the Doctor any more.

If he couldn't affect the ending, this would be his last outing with River where hope for the future was still possible. Tomorrow was D-day at The Library. Despite his plans he felt a little sad plugging in the coordinates. He arrived at River's home at dusk, unsure of exactly when he was.

"Doctor," River smiled, meeting him at the door. "What an unexpected surprise."

"Well, it's been a while, I thought I should treat you to a night out," the Doctor said, nonchalant.

"Shall we do diaries?" River turned to grab hers. She turned to about three quarters of the way through the book, when the Doctor had begun to visit her at home after she'd been granted her pardon. "Have we done the Fires of Altear?"

"Smoked them," he said, giving just enough detail for her to be sure he wasn't lying.

"What about Remaria?" she turned a few pages, looking at him expectantly.

"Children all present and accounted for," he confirmed.

"Blimey, we're really late in the game this time," she smiled, turning to the last page she'd written. "Have we done The Roaring Muses?"

"Heard every word," he smiled, "including quite a few I could have done without. My ears are still ringing."

She laughed, her hand smoothing the blank page before her. "Time for a new adventure for both of us. I feel almost giddy – being in sync happens so rarely it's almost thrilling."

"It is," he said seriously not correcting her assumption that if she didn’t have an event written in her diary then it hadn’t happened. "Put on something gorgeous. Do whatever it is women do when they're dolling themselves up. I'll wait for you down here."

"Okay," she jumped up, her excitement obvious. She always greeted him that way, with so much enthusiasm, as though any day when he was there was so much better than the rest. It was gratifying … and humbling.

He sat in one of her chairs, staring pensively out the window as he waited. When she returned, clearing her throat meaningfully, he turned and immediately lost the power of speech.

She was stunning … captivating, and so damn sexy he wished he could have sealed the marriage deal after all, just so he could claim the right to worship her in every sense.

"If I'm reading your expression right, you approve," she commented, amused.

"Very much so," he finally found his voice. "You look good enough to inspire all manner of naughty thoughts."

" _Doctor_ ," River laughed, pleased. "We don't have to go out."

"Yes we do," he insisted. Standing he made his way to her, holding out a hand. When she took it he reeled her in, wrapping his arms around her and holding on tight. He dropped his head to her shoulder and nuzzled against her neck, just breathing her in.

"Doctor?" she put a hand to his hair, stroking him gently. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he swallowed back the sudden, bizarre urge to weep, holding on for a few moments more just because he couldn't bear to let her go.

"You call this fine?" she asked, doing nothing to break the hug before he was ready.

"My version of it," the Doctor let his arms fall to his side, stepping back.

"Maybe I can clear a few days in my schedule," she offered, obviously still concerned about him. "We could spend a few days together, if you like?"

"It might be nice not to have to rush back at the end of the night," he agreed.

"Next week," she suggested. "No, wait, the week after. I'm busy next week – a tour for the Lux corporation. You wouldn't believe the paperwork they expected me to fill in." She laughed.

He'd been more right than he knew - this would be her last night out with him as well. The end of all hope indeed. The night she'd reminisced about moments before she'd sacrificed her life.

The night he took her to Darillium.

"I bet you told them what they could do with their paperwork," he forced himself to tease.

"Tore it right down the middle," River confirmed with a mischievous grin. "They weren't happy but they still hired me."

"They wanted the best," he murmured, staring at her. "You really do look delicious," he said.

"And you look amazing," she grinned. "Is that a new tux?"

"Nothing but the best for you, sweetie," he declared, dipping his top hat at her. "Are you ready for an adventure?"

"With you, always," she replied. "Where are we going?"

"Darillium," he announced, hoping she wouldn't detect the sadness in his voice.

"Finally!" River exclaimed. "I don't know how many times I've asked to see it. You always say no."

"When will you learn that I always have my reasons," the Doctor replied. "The singing towers are quite stunning, it's true but only if one is lucky enough to be there on one of the very few occasions when they sing."

"And this is one of those occasions," River commented. "We still could have gone at any time."

"Not any time, _this_ time," the Doctor said meaningfully. It was how he said things when he really didn't have an explanation and didn't want to repeat for the umpteenth occasion the timey-wimey-ness of being a time traveller.

Taking River's hand he led her to the TARDIS, wasting no time in getting the ship moving. Moments later they landed and he again took her hand, leading her to the door. "Darillium," he announced, swinging the door wide.

It was a world that sparkled under the light of two suns, one distant, one looming much closer. In the distance, natural rock formations that looked like ancient towers jutted from the Earth, their colours rich and vibrant, spanning the entire spectrum. There were shades there that would never been seen in nature anywhere else in the galaxy. The air was crisp and sweet, warm against their skin as they walked. The ground had a springiness that made them feel light and graceful on their feet. It was like moss that grew everywhere in a uniform fashion, green and brown and beautiful.

"I think here will do," he announced, urging her to sit beside him.

"This is … beautiful," River commented, her eyes locked on the distant view.

"Yes, yes it is," he agreed. He turned his head to watch her, enjoying her wonder even as he saw the way her brain continued to click over. River never completely lost herself in the moment – perhaps that was a carryover from the days of Madam Kovarian.

"When will they sing?" she asked, her voice soft and dreamy like the scene around them.

"Soon," he promised. He waited a few more moments, and then, with a sigh, began the first of the necessary tasks he had to complete while they were there. "I have something for you," he said.

"You do?" She turned to him, smiling. "What is it? A gift?"

"This," he reached into his pocket and pulled out his sonic screwdriver, holding it out to her. It was like the one he'd improved, minus the extra's he'd added specifically to deal with the issues at The Library. It was exactly the one he'd seen once before … duplicated down to the secret compartment that could hold a consciousness echo for a time. And it was still crucial to the events in The Library.

"Your sonic screwdriver?" River's eyes shot to his. "Why would you give me this?"

"I'm upgrading," he said vaguely. "Who better to have this one than you?" He nudged his shoulder to hers. "Come on, don't tell me you haven't already thought of hundreds of things you could have done if you'd had this years ago!"

"You trust me that much?" she seemed incredulous – or maybe shocked was the more appropriate word.

" _River_ ," he admonished, putting himself into the role he now accepted he'd one day take on voluntarily. "Of course I trust you that much. You're my _wife_. Haven't I trusted you with much more than a screwdriver?"

"Your secrets," she whispered, "your name."

"My secrets and my name," he repeated. She'd remember this conversation when the time came, when it was vital that she gain his trust without delay.

"Somehow they don't seem as significant as this," she admitted, still unwilling to take possession of the screwdriver. "You do realise what I can do with this, don't you?"

"Open any door that isn't made of wood," he smiled. "Create havoc across time and space. I know that's what you _could_ do, and I know it's not what you _will_ do. You've grown up River, grown up and become a responsible adult."

"Gosh, that almost makes me want to grab that screwdriver and break into something," she admitted, grimacing. "You're sure?" her expression shifted to hopeful, with a dash of longing, but still she waited to take ownership, her hands clenched together in her lap as if to avoid the temptation to grab before the opportunity was gone.

The Doctor took one of her hands and gently straightened it until her palm was flat. He put the sonic screwdriver there, closing her fingers around it. "Yes, I'm sure," he promised.

"You sweet, sweet man," River surged to her knees, throwing her arms around him. Her lips were on his before he could blink, doing all manner of exciting things that stopped him from thinking straight. He let it go on for longer than he should have … justifying it by telling himself this could be the last time he got to kiss River. Eventually though he broke it off, gently pushing her away and shifting back out of range.

"I take it you're grateful," he commented, his breath still coming much faster than it should.

"Very," she said, giving him a meaningful look. "I could be very, very grateful."

"Right, well," he stammered, straightening his bow tie. "Singing towers! It must be almost time."

"Eleven hundred years old and you're still such a prude," River teased, threading her arm through his to show him that she didn't mind.

"No, not a prude," he denied. "Just a man very aware that if we miss this it'll be another three hundred years before we get another chance."

"Time machine," she murmured, sing song fashion.

"Oh, shut up," he muttered, determinedly turning his attention to the towers.

When the sunlight hit the closest towers the effect was immediate. Waves of sound burst from the rocks, each tower a different note that combined to make an orchestral melody so intricate it was impossible to discern the individual components. As the suns continued to rise, the beams of light moving progressively across the forest of towers, the melody shifting too. First slow and gentle, then building to a crescendo before quieting again. The notes built once more until they were so rapid no one could ever hope to reproduce them even through artificial means. When the last note died away and silence fell, neither River nor the Doctor spoke.

He'd watched her while she'd listened, seen a part of her soul rarely on show. The part that felt deeply, that loved so true and so loyal – not the brash seductress, nor the brave romantic. The other half of him – his mate, well matched in every way. He was weeping and he didn't even know it at first. Weekping for what she was and for what he'd lost – what he was risking everything to save. Slow tears that tracked down his face silently. River wouldn't have known they were there if she hadn't turned to him before he could wipe them away.

"Doctor?" she touched a hand to his face shakily, felt the moisture. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he tried to move away but she wouldn't let him.

"You're _crying_ ," she said forcefully. "That's not nothing!"

" _River_ ," he put his hand over hers, still cupping his cheek. "My River Song. You make me so angry, so frustrated that sometimes I just want to grab you and shake you until it makes sense. But you also make me _feel_ – things I was determined I would never feel again. Is it so hard to believe those emotions would be equally strong, enough to make me weep for not knowing what to do with them?"

" _Oh_ ," she sighed, her eyes filling with tears as she listened. "I love you."

"That's good. I'd hate to be feeling this sappy all by myself," he smiled when she pulled her hand from beneath his and glared at him. "All right, all right, no need to break out the death glare. I'm glad you love me because I love you too. Happy now?" It was how he felt - he couldn't lie to himself and pretend he'd only said it to play along, to avoid suspicion being raised because of his uncharacteristic emotional responses. Of course it had been vitally important for River to suspect nothing ominous in the handing over of his screwdriver and his tears ... but that wasn't why he'd declared himself.

"Ecstatic," she laughed, throwing her arms around him again. "Now kiss me."

What harm could it do to kiss her? She was practically begging him – she'd be hurt if he refused. Shifting so that she lay on the mossy ground, he loomed over her, eyes tracking over her features fondly.

"Today, if you please," she demanded when he waited too long.

"You're such a hussy," he murmured, lowering his lips to hers.

* * *

"How was your date?" Amy asked as soon as he walked back into the TARDIS alone.

"Magic," the Doctor said, the smile falling from his face as soon as the door of the TARDIS clicked shut.

"If it was so magic, how come you look sad?" Amy frowned. "Is River okay?"

"River's fine – more than fine. _Glorious_ ," the Doctor shook off his morose mood, dancing forward to swing Amy into a fleeting hug. "You should be a proud mother, you really should."

"Now I'm even more worried," Amy commented. "You're not usually this forthcoming."

"I don't usually see you straight after a date either," he pointed out. "I think I'll go back to the middle of the night thing – less questions that way."

"Spoilsport," Amy muttered.


	12. A Tomb for Books

Morning came too quickly for the Doctor. It didn’t have to be today – he was a Time Lord, he could put off an event for a really long time if he desired. Part of him was tempted to do just that but the larger part knew it was time. Time to save River Song or die in the trying.

"Amy! Rory!" the Doctor yelled, pacing around the central console as he waited for them to respond.

"All right, keep your britches on," Amy complained, hurrying after Rory as they appeared from their room, looking dishevelled.

"Did I interrupt something?" the Doctor asked innocently.

"As a matter of fact you did," Amy grabbed Rory and laid a kiss on him that had the Doctor blushing.

"Right, o-kay," he turned away, hoping they'd be finished soon.

"Oh, turn around you big goose," Amy laughed.

He did, eyeing the two of them with an almost shy look. They were just so adorable together.

"Doctor," Amy looked at him expectantly. "You called us, remember?" she added when he looked confused.

"I did?" he straightened. "I did! O-kay. I need to go somewhere and you can't come with me. Where do you want to go instead?"

"Uh - _Why_ can't we come with you?" Rory asked.

"Spoilers," the Doctor gave them a pained look. "Honestly, if I allow you to step foot where I'm going we could end up breaking the universe again, and we've already seen how bad that can be."

"But it's okay for you to go?" Amy asked suspiciously.

"Yes, of course it is," he lied for all he was worth. "Would I go there otherwise?"

"You cheated a fixed point in time by faking your own death!" Amy reminded him. "I don't think there's anything you wouldn't risk – for the right reason."

"This is very much the right reason," he spoke quietly, letting her see how serious he was.

"How dangerous is it?" Rory asked.

"I'm not going there blind," the Doctor felt just a bit put out that they didn't have more confidence in his abilities. "And you know, I did spend nearly two hundred years travelling around without the pair of you. I think I can manage a visit to one tiny planet."

"So, pretty dangerous then," Amy commented to her husband.

"Sounds like it," he agreed, nodding at her unspoken question.

"We're staying," Amy declared, "and before you get all polite and annoyed, we'll stay in the TARDIS. You can lock us in and everything."

"Then why stay?" the Doctor asked.

"Because you might need us," Amy said simply. "I'm sure you're smart enough to rig some kind of failsafe to unlock the TARDIS if it becomes a life or death situation."

The Doctor frowned, thinking quickly. He could probably rig up something in the event they needed to get out. Well, if things went as bad as they could and he didn't survive the TARDIS's own fail safes would kick in. She'd take them home and release them before disappearing to who knew where. He was the last of the time lords so her options for new operators would be non-existent.

"Well?" Amy demanded, impatient with his silence.

"You can stay," he said abruptly, "but only because I'd prefer to keep you somewhere you can't get into trouble. The TARDIS already has fail safes that will make sure you get home if the need arises." He turned away and then froze as a thought occurred to him. "You can't call River for help, not this time," he said sternly. "I need your promise on this Amy, you too Rory – otherwise I take you home right now."

Amy exchanged a glance with her husband. "No River – I promise," she said seriously.

"Me too – I promise too," Rory added.

"Good, good," the Doctor nodded. "Then best go and get comfortable. This is going to take a while."

"You're going now?" Amy asked, surprised.

"No time like the present … or the future," the Doctor laughed. "Go – find something useful to do. I'll call you when it's all over."

"Well – you _did_ interrupt us," Amy sent her husband a come-hither look, crooking her finger.

"Not here!" the Doctor shuddered. "Take the kissing and the hugging somewhere private! I'm trying to concentrate here."

"You are so easy to tease," Amy laughed, all but skipping to his side. "You be careful," she said, suddenly very serious.

"I'm always careful," he said pompously, straightening his posture and looking down his nose at her.

"Oh you are not!" She grabbed his hands and held on tight. "Don't do anything crazy."

"By whose definition?" he smiled, tapping a finger to her nose. "You worry too much. Go – seduce your husband." He said it without an ounce of embarrassment.

"You!" Amy's eyes narrowed as she realised abruptly that he wasn't quite as sensitive and blush-prone as she'd believed.

"Amy," Rory took his wife's elbow and tugged insistently. "Leave him alone," he urged when she turned.

"Fine," Amy let the Doctor go abruptly, striding down the stairs towards the corridor. "Coming?" she asked Rory pointedly.

"Right behind you," Rory declared. He looked at the doctor for a moment. "Don't mess this up," he said simply.

"I'll try my very best not to," the Doctor said just as seriously.

They were two men so they shared a brisk, understanding kind of nod before Rory took his leave, hurrying after his wife.

"You know where to take me," the Doctor murmured to the TARDIS. The middle column sprang into life, the blue box dematerialising and then spinning off through the time vortex.

* * *

The Library was quiet and still, lifeless where before it had been teeming with activity. The contrast was stark and not for the first time the Doctor wished he could have done something to save The Library before it became what it now was. A tomb for books.

"Right, first things first," he muttered, activating his special sonic screwdriver and scanning in a circle around the TARDIS. No shadows. "Excellent." He'd chosen the roof of a building as far from where his younger self would land as possible. Once he was assured of not being eaten by Vashta Nerada before he'd gone five paces, he cloaked the TARDIS, requesting as before that she hide herself from anyone who might be looking. He was alone for now – when his tenth incarnation arrived with Donna he had to have already completed all but the last stage of his plan, otherwise he'd be detected when Ten used the computer to scan for life forms.

He had a schematic for the entire planet and moved straight to the nearest gravity platform, scanning for ominous shadows all the way. The computer core was right at the centre of the planet – every platform led there eventually. The ride down was long – it gave him plenty of time to run the sequence of events through his head, still looking for potential mistakes.

Once at the core, he stayed on the platform, his sonic screwdriver detecting a large number of Vashta Nerada. "I wonder what you feed on with no patrons around to snatch," he muttered, selecting the right settings on his screwdriver. "I'll be sporting and give you the chance to surrender and retreat." He waited but there was no change. "I didn't think so," he raised the screwdriver and activated it. Light burst forth. The shadows pulsed and jerked before bursting, sending out a shock wave of odour and sound.

"That's really very, very bad," the Doctor grimaced, wrinkling his nose to clear the smell. He didn't have a qualm about defeating so many of the shadows – when his younger self had visited the core, none of the Vashta Nerada had been present. Perhaps they'd been attracted elsewhere by the presence of people for the first time in a century. "Or perhaps you were there then and you blew them all to dust," he told himself.

Safe for the time being, the Doctor approached CAL, the face of a young girl preserved forever as the human interface.

"I am Courtesy Node Zero," she announced. "This area is restricted. Security protocols activated."

"No, no, _no_ ," the Doctor protested, resetting his sonic screwdriver and pointing it at the statue on a stick. "Wait! Don't do that!"

"This unit is programmed to protect against damage," CAL revealed.

"I'm here with the sanction of the founding family," he informed her quickly. He held up his psychic paper, crossing his mental fingers that she was still human enough for it to work.

CAL froze, her eyes darting to his. "You represent the Lux family?"

"Ah, yes, that's right," he glanced at the psychic paper himself but as always it was blank for him. Sometimes he knew what it was going to show others, but more usually it was as much a surprise to him as it was to them. "It's been almost a hundred years since your systems were upgraded. In computer land that's practically an eternity. Don't you think it's time we corrected that?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out the data storage unit he'd picked up on Plagiarius Ineo and showed her. "This will multiply your storage capacity a trillion times, like that," he snapped his fingers, smiling. "And best of all, installing it won't hurt a bit."

"The Library systems are locked. No new data has been submitted to warrant such an upgrade."

"You never know when you're going to need a little extra," he countered. "Trust me. I'm the Doctor."

"Very well. You may proceed."

"Cool," he declared. It was a simple matter to open the core and insert the memory into the right slot. While he was there he made sure the system would recognise input from his sonic screwdriver, no matter where in The Library he was. He was tempted to fix the other problems with the system too – because it would mean CAL would be more stable, less prone to switching off the systems his younger self and River needed. Unfortunately Ten did that very same thing after transferring River inside CALs world - it was too big a change to risk, and not one he could hide as easily as the rest of what he was doing.

"There we go," he stepped back, directing himself to the interface again. "Good as new and with room to move around. How does it feel?"

"As already indicated, the storage requirements of this system have not changed since the library was locked. No discernible change is noted."

"Fine, be a party pooper then," the Doctor complained. Cleaning up the area so that no trace of his presence could be noted he brushed his hands over his pants, straightening with a determined expression.

"Are you lonely CAL?" he asked, walking to the transport terminal. There were hundreds of them spread all over The Library - that's how CAL had been able to save all the people. There was nowhere in The Library you couldn't get to a terminal from without delay.

"Inanimate systems cannot be lonely," CAL replied.

"See, I think you're telling me fibs," the Doctor countered. "I think you're still a young girl whose father loved her so much he couldn't let her go. You have a life inside the system but you know it's not real, don't you?"

"Shut up! Don't tell!" CAL's voice shifted from impersonal abruptly.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise," he insisted. "I would like to visit you though. I know you saved all those people that awful day when the shadows attacked. I think you're an amazing girl and I'd like nothing better than to meet you and see your world. Will you let me do that?"

Not waiting for a response he activated the transporter. It was excruciating to hover in and out of the real world and the system designed to store his molecules momentarily and then reassemble them. When the sensation of being split in two passed, he opened his eyes and found himself in an unassuming living room. An open kitchen was located off to the rear, while in the main area there were chairs and a table and a television. The television was off, the rooms sole occupant engrossed in the drawing she was colouring in.

"That's wonderful," he commented, moving closer. "Is that your library?"

The girl looked up with a start, her eyes widening when she saw him.

"Hello Charlotte," he greeted her gently.

"Who are you?" the little girl froze. "How do you know my name?"

"Don't be afraid. I'm here to help." He smiled. "Trust me. I'm the Doctor."

The words must have triggered something, some link back to The Library and the primary interface that was also somehow her.

"The Doctor," she repeated. "Do I know you?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes you do," he replied. "May I sit down?"

"Okay, but only until my Dad gets back," Charlotte looked towards the empty kitchen. "He's gone out to get us some lunch."

"Ooh, lunch - one of the three best meals of the day," the Doctor grinned. "Do you know what my favourite of all favourites is? Fish fingers and custard."

"Fish fingers and custard," Charlotte screwed up her face. "Yuk."

"Have you ever tried fish fingers and custard?"

She shook her head.

"Well then, there you go young lady. Don't knock it until you try it."

The sound of the door opening drew their attention. In walked a non-descript kind of man, neither short nor tall, average colouring and build, wearing an unassuming blue knitted jumper and pants. He smiled uncertainly when he caught sight of a stranger sitting with his daughter.

"Charlotte?" he frowned, that one word a question and a reminder that he'd probably told her many times not to open the door to strangers.

"It's okay Daddy," she jumped up and ran to him, throwing her arms around his waist. "This is the Doctor. He didn't say but I think he must be a friend of Doctor Moon. He's very nice."

"Thank you," the Doctor smiled. Nice was a compliment indeed from a child. "And your daughter is right, in a manner of speaking. I'm a colleague of sorts of Doctor Moon."

"He's coming for a visit later," Charlotte shared openly. "Isn't he daddy?"

"Really?" the Doctor grinned, thinking it could be handy to have a chat with the Doctor Moon. "Wonderful. So, what should we do until then, eh? Shall we play a game?"

"Charlotte isn't big on games," her father said.

"Not big on games?" the Doctor looked horrified. "Games are brilliant. Look at me, I'm eleven hundred and three and I still love games."

"Eleven hundred and three," Charlotte giggled.

"I _know_ , I don't look a day over five hundred," the Doctor's eyes twinkled as he watched the little girl laugh. CAL was only a projection of her real self into a virtual world but at the heart of it she was still a child – she'd just lost that when she'd begun to forget what was real and what was make believe.

"Oh Daddy, can the Doctor stay? Please?"

Her father hesitated but since he was in effect being controlled by CAL, eventually he nodded. "Very well. But lunch first, okay?" He glanced at the Doctor. "You're welcome to join us Doctor."

"Thank you," the Doctor smiled at Charlotte again. "I'd love to. It's been a while since I was invited to lunch. Especially by such a lovely young lady as yourself."

"I'll just get everything ready," her father said, moving to the kitchen.

"Perhaps you can tell me about your drawings," the Doctor suggested.

"It's my library," Charlotte shifted closer, pulling the drawing near. "It's not a real place of course … it's my dream world, the place I go when I sleep."

"A library doesn't seem like the kind of fantasy world a child would create," the Doctor said. "What are you, ten, eleven?"

"Ten," Charlotte admitted.

"Right, so ten," he repeated. "For a young girl that's the age for castles and princesses … or fairy lands complete with gigantic mushrooms and lots of little people with pointy ears. Tell me, are there any people in this library of yours?"

"Of course not," she replied as though the idea of it were absurd.

"Then who is the library for? Who reads the books? Who maintains the place – keeps the books tidy, dusts and vacuums? Who does all of that?"

"The Library isn't real Doctor," Charlotte insisted. "It never gets dusty and the books are never out of place. It's _my_ library – _I_ read the books."

"In your sleep?" the Doctor clarified.

"Well … not really," Charlotte's brow knitted as she tried to find a way to explain how her library worked. "The Library can't have people Doctor. I don't know what would happen if people came."

"It is something to think on, isn't it," the Doctor commented.

"Lunch is ready," Charlotte's father announced before Charlotte could reply.

The Doctor followed along as they sat at the table and consumed the sandwiches and crisps Charlotte's father had prepared. It was a novel experience for the Doctor. Even when he'd been Craig's lodger he'd never sat down for such a normal meal.

When they were done Charlotte returned to her drawing. The Doctor sat on the couch and watched her … and for everyone that seemed perfectly acceptable. When a knock sounded at the door the young girl jumped up to answer it.

"Doctor Moon," she exclaimed, smiling up at the tall man standing in the doorway, dressed in a grey suit and carrying a brief case.

"Charlotte," he greeted her in a smooth, even voice, the kind of voice one would associate with a psychologist – careful to create space for the patient to feel whatever they needed to feel, free of judgement. "How are you today?"

"Very well thank you," Charlotte replied in her proper, polite little voice. "We have a visitor," she announced.

"A visitor?" Doctor Moon shifted to glance behind the little girl, his eyes meeting the Doctor's immediately. The Doctor knew of course that the man before him was a representation of the virus checker, the program designed to support and maintain the main computer at the core of the planet. Well, to maintain Charlotte if he were thinking accurately. What was interesting was that Doctor Moon seemed to understand what the Doctor was immediately too.

"Hello," the Doctor greeted him, standing up.

"Hello," Doctor Moon replied. "I must say, I'm impressed that you managed to find us in so remote a location."

"I'm very good at finding hard to reach things," the Doctor returned. "Hard to reach, hidden, secretive … all child's play for me, all in a day's work."

"Then you understand what's at stake here?" Doctor Moon queried, watching the Doctor carefully.

"Of course I do, and you have nothing to fear. I have no intention of interfering in any way. In fact I'm more of an observer really – just pretend I'm not even here."

"You hide as well," Doctor Moon said in that gentle voice of his.

"Well, yes, for the time being," the Doctor replied. "It's necessary, for reasons I can't go into. You'll just have to trust me."

"I didn't mean physically," Moon moved a few steps closer. "You hide from yourself Doctor, but it is time to come out of the shadows."

"The Shadows?" the Doctor's interest sharpened. "What do you know of the shadows?"

"Only that they destroy everything they touch, that one cannot exist entirely in the dark."

"Interesting," the Doctor shifted, feeling too much under the spotlight all of a sudden, and by someone who wasn't even a real person. It was ludicrous that the Doctor Moon would have anything of interest to say as pertained to him. "I don't really have time for this – important events taking shape as we speak. If I could just sit in the corner until it's no longer necessary for me to sit in the corner, I'd be very grateful."

"Sit," Doctor Moon moved to the Doctor's side, speaking softly enough only the two men could hear. "They will not notice you if you remain still and quiet. It will truly be as though you are not there."

"Remaining quiet has never been a strong point of mine, but I'll do my best," the Doctor replied.

"No more can be asked of anyone," Doctor Moon smiled slightly before turning back to Charlotte. "How did you sleep last night Charlotte?"

"I went to the library again," Charlotte replied. "I go there every time I close my eyes, even when I'm not sleeping."

"What about now?" Doctor Moon sat down across from the little girl. The Doctor shifted until he was peripheral to the room's occupants. Leaning against the wall he watched. "Close your eyes and tell me what you see," Doctor Moon instructed Charlotte.

"The Library," Charlotte replied, doing as he instructed. The conversation continued until abruptly she began to frown. Her eyes snapped open and she looked at Doctor Moon fearfully.

"Something's here! Someone's got in! No one's supposed to get in!"

The Doctor stiffened. He knew who was forcing their way into Charlotte's library. The tenth Doctor and Donna Noble. It had begun.


	13. The Younger, Stupider Version

It was agony for a man accustomed to action to stand in the background as events unfolded around him. Even more so to see his younger self and River running for safety, knowing how it was supposed to end. Doctor Moon left and the man representing Charlotte's father went about his business, seemingly oblivious to the actions of his daughter.

She struggled to control what was going on around her and inside her mind – events taking place in The Library and inside her constructed world depicted on her television screen like a strange kind of drama program. As time progressed she got more and more frustrated and afraid – and more determined to keep things the way they were, even though her actions were directly affecting the supposedly pretend world she was watching on TV.

The Doctor had come to Charlotte's world because it was the only place he could hide without the younger Doctor detecting him, but that wasn't his only purpose.

"Stop it! You'll spoil everything! I hate you; you're going to ruin everything! Stop it!" Charlotte cried.

The Doctor pushed away from the wall and approached, ready. He'd noticed that the television remote was the conduit through which her actions took effect in both worlds, and he'd made the necessary conclusions in preparing for his arrival.

Her distress finally got the attention of her father. He emerged from the kitchen, concerned. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Shut up!" Charlotte yelled. In frustration she stabbed at a button and in a flash the image of her father disappeared. "Daddy! No! Daddy!" she cried, despairing. She raised her arm ominously, the remote in hand.

"Uh, none of that, eh?" With lightning speed the Doctor caught the remote before it could hit the ground and be broken. If he was correct, that would mean the self-destruct hadn't been activated. Of course, his younger self still needed to believe the library was about to be destroyed, but that could be arranged with relative ease.

Pulling out his sonic screwdriver, he scanned the remote, examining the result. "It just needs a slight tweak," he muttered, directing the sonic beam at it again to make some adjustments to the inner workings. "That should do it," he pressed a button, activating the self-destruct with a secondary program that would kick in when the clock was at 0.01 seconds remaining.

"Do what?" Charlotte sniffed, wiping at her tears. "Can you bring back my Daddy?"

"The people in The Library will do that," he explained. "Come on, get up. Let's go and sit for a bit, shall we?" He reached down a hand and lifted her to her feet, guiding her to the couch and then taking a seat beside her. "Right now, in the real world, the monsters are threatening the safety of the people visiting your library. One of them … well, two of them really, are doing everything they can to fix that. We're just going to have to trust them to do it properly."

"I don't understand," Charlotte wailed. "It's all ruined. Everything is _ruined_."

"Now, you really must stop this, you know," Doctor Moon appeared suddenly. "You've forgotten again it was you who saved all those people, haven't you? And then, you remembered."

Luckily the Doctor still had the remote control, otherwise Charlotte would have used it to erase her Doctor too. Of course, they still had to shut down the program, the final step in forcing the hand of River and Ten. This way the virus program could be reinstated if everything went wrong and he found himself in need of it.

"I'm really very sorry about this," he told Doctor Moon, pointing his sonic screwdriver at the other man and pressing the button. In a flash he disappeared.

"What did you do?!" Charlotte accused.

"Nothing permanent," the Doctor reassured her. "He's just gone away for a little while for a bit of a rest. He'll be right as rain once all this is done and we have everything back the way it was."

"You can do that, make it all like it used to be?"

"I can, with your help," the Doctor replied. "Because Doctor Moon was right. It was _you_ who saved all those people the day the shadows broke free."

She opened her mouth to protest.

"No, none of that," he said gently, putting his arm around her comfortingly. "What you did was brilliant, genius, inspired really. You stopped the shadows from consuming everyone. It wasn't your fault there was nowhere to send them – you did the best you could."

"I don't remember," she insisted.

"You do but it's all gotten jumbled in your memory because you've got four thousand and twenty two living minds running around in there."

"I saved them?" she repeated uncertainly.

"Yes, and now the people in your library are going to bring them back."

"You said I had to help – what do you want me to do?"

"The self-destruct has been activated – it's counting down right now. I need to see it, here, inside this world."

Immediately the image of a digital clock display counting down appeared on the wall.

"Excellent," the Doctor bounced up out of his seat and began pacing excitedly in front of Charlotte. "In a few minutes the woman down there is going to hook her brain up to your systems to give you the memory space you need to transfer everyone back to the materialisers."

"That sounds very brave," Charlotte commented.

"It is," the Doctor agreed. "Brave and stupid and unnecessary, but we can't let her know that."

"Why not?"

"Timey-wimey … stuff," he said vaguely. "Doesn't matter why, just that it has to be this way."

"But I do have sufficient memory space. You installed it into my core systems," Charlotte smiled. "I remember now … I can feel the difference."

"That's very good," the Doctor held up a hand to stop her. "You can't do anything. You have to let them do it. Don't worry, it won't hurt them – I've added a few tweaks to the self-destruct protocol. Can you show us what's happening in the data core?"

Charlotte held out a hand for the remote and the Doctor reluctantly returned it. "Don't throw it," he said sternly, "because I really can't predict what might happen if you do."

"I won't," the little girl pointed the remote at the television and immediately the data core came into view. The Doctor saw his younger self stretched out unconscious on the floor while River sat outside of his reach, wiring herself up to the data core.

"Who is she?" Charlotte asked as they watched.

"My wife," the Doctor admitted, for all intents and purposes, the truth.

"She's pretty."

"Yes she is," the Doctor agreed.

"And the man?" Charlotte continued.

"He's me – a younger, stupider version of me."

"He looks nothing like you," Charlotte pointed out in the way of children who believed they'd just been lied to. "How can he be you when you're here as well?"

"Time travel," the Doctor explained. "Strictly speaking I'm not supposed to cross my own time stream."

"Why not?"

"Because it could tear a hole in reality that would eventually destroy it completely," he admitted. "It's not already happening because technically I'm _not_ interfering with my time line. I'm here with you, in a world that doesn't really exist."

"You're here to save her, just like I saved those people," Charlotte deduced abruptly. She smiled up at him. "You must love her very much."

He couldn't argue with that. "Yes, I do," he said simply. "You were my inspiration," he added. "If you could save over four thousand people as energy patterns in a computer memory for a hundred years, why couldn't I save just one?"

"Two," Charlotte corrected. "Your wife _and_ you."

"Yes, you're right, two additional people saved," he agreed. “You are a very wise little girl.”

"Look, he's waking up," Charlotte turned her attention back to the television.

They watched the tenth Doctor struggle against the restraints as he argued for River to stop what she was doing. And all the while the countdown continued.

" _River! Please! No!_ " Ten begged.

" _Funny thing is, this means you've always known how I was going to die. All the time we've been together, you knew I was coming here._ "

She was so accepting – he'd forgotten how comfortable River had been with her decision to sacrifice herself for him, for the memories they were yet to make from his younger point of view. It was hard to watch the emotion on his own face as he began to realise what he would lose before he'd even had a chance to create it.

" _There's only one reason I would ever tell anyone my name. There's only one time I could,_ " Ten ground out.

" _Hush, now! Spoilers,_ " River smiled tenderly at him through her tears.

The countdown clock was large on Charlotte's wall.

Three seconds.

Two.

One.

River connected the two cables with a tearful smile and at once four things happened.

There was a blinding flash of light, so bright that Ten had to turn away, obscuring the fate of River Song. When he was able to look back, the chair would be empty.

The secondary program the eleventh Doctor had installed kicked in, shutting down the self-destruct as it activated the additional memory, bypassing River entirely.

The nearby transporter pad activated, the altered programming picking up everything within a specific radius, including River herself, and converting it to energy, transferring the stored patterns to memory.

All other transporters around The Library activated at the same time, returning four thousand and twenty two people to physical form.

"Did it work?" Charlotte asked the Doctor hopefully.

"Look for yourself," the Doctor urged, hardly daring to contemplate the result himself.

Charlotte pressed the channel changer on the remote and they both smiled as room after room was displayed, each showing a group of disorientated people milling around.

"I'd say it worked like a charm," the Doctor announced. "Well done you!"

"And you," Charlotte corrected. "What about your wife?"

"I suppose I'll have to go out there and look for her," the Doctor gestured to the windows where Charlotte's made up world still existed, the sun shining down on the trees and grass outside her home. "I transferred her here in the same manner I transferred myself but I couldn't control exactly where she went."

"Wait," Charlotte closed her eyes for a few moments. When she opened them she was smiling. The sound of someone knocking at the front door had her smiling even more. "Go on, go and see who it is," she urged.

The Doctor eyed her suspiciously for a moment before getting to his feet. "Very well," he said, "but if this is something bad, like a troupe of clowns, we're going to have words young lady. Of course, if it's girl guides that would be a different story – excellent cookies, although not as good as jammy dodgers, that goes without saying … except I just said it, didn't I?"

He was babbling to cover the sudden nervous pounding of his hearts and the sinking feeling in his stomach. Because all at once he knew who was going to be on the other side of that door. With a flourish he opened it.

"What sort of time do you call this?" she demanded.

"Hello Sweetie," he replied, going for a confident, innocent smile.

"Doctor," her brow rose, the accusation clear on her face. She knew he'd pushed the boundaries and all that was left was to work out just how much trouble he was in. Even though technically she’d given her permission, the Doctor was sure trying to use that as an excuse wasn’t going to win him any arguments.

"Before you go getting all heated there's someone I want you to meet," the Doctor grabbed River's hand and all but dragged her inside the house.

"Charlotte," he called out as they approached the living room. "This is Professor River Song … the Doctor's wife. Well, my wife really since I am the Doctor." He smiled to cover his sudden awkwardness.

"It's lovely to meet you," Charlotte gushed, jumping up from the couch and approaching eagerly.

"River, this is Charlotte Abigail Lux," the Doctor completed the introductions with a smile.

"Oh," River's gaze sharpened as she regarded the little girl. "You saved all those people," she knelt so that she could look at Charlotte eye to eye. "That's a very special thing to have done."

"You saved them too, and The Library," Charlotte pointed out. "What you did was really brave."

"I'm not sure I did anything in the end," River glanced at the Doctor. "I think the person you should be thanking it the Doctor."

"I didn't do anything to save them," the Doctor protested.

"You're here," River pointed out grimly. "I can't believe you risked so much without regard to the consequences!"

"Not in front of the children dear," the Doctor said with false joviality. "Perhaps it would be best if we went for a walk." He turned to Charlotte. "It'll take a while for my younger self and Donna to clean up, even longer to get all those people home. We can't leave here until all that is taken care of."

Charlotte's face took on an intent expression as she focussed inwardly, concentrating. When she returned her attention to them she was full of regret. "I can't transfer you back myself," she admitted weakly. "All the available memory has been rerouted to restore all the damaged systems. There's nothing I can do to alter that. I'm sorry."

"I know," the Doctor said quietly – he'd known that's what his younger self had done first, fixed CAL's systems to ensure she'd be able to continue on forever. He'd used all the available memory because he hadn't seen the need to maintain the possibility of people being transported back into CAL's world – because The Library would be locked forever once he and Donna left. "It was the only way. Don't feel bad young lady – you're free to go back to being a ten year old again. Our futures don't rest in your hands."

"No, they rest in the hands of your younger self, a man who has no idea that he has not only my life but his own at stake," River spoke very quietly and very calmly – that was a bad sign. She was very, very angry with him.

"Time for that walk," the Doctor announced. He crouched, giving Charlotte a grateful hug. "Thank you for your help today."

"You didn't leave me alone," Charlotte whispered. She buried her head against his shoulder, squeezing him very tightly. 'I was scared and you stayed with me."

He let her hold on as long as she needed before stepping aside to allow River her own chance for hugging and thanks. "We won't leave without saying goodbye," he promised, taking River's hand and leading her out of the room.

They were quiet for a time as they walked down the picturesque street, lined with perfect houses surrounded by perfect lawns.

"Would you have been happy here?" he finally asked.

River stopped, looking around. "It's not real," she commented.

"No, no it's not," he agreed. "It's a virtual world created by that little girl, fuelled by the contents of a million, million books … and by the dreams of those who exist here. Would that have satisfied you?"

"I don't know," River admitted. "Is that what would have happened?"

"Yes," he said starkly, looking away. "The first time around, the day I met you was the day you died, for all intents and purposes anyway. I gave you my screwdriver and it stored the echo of your consciousness until the other me plugged it into the core and transferred you here. Without a physical body, there was no way for you to return. This would have been your existence for as long as The Library was operational."

"And of course that wasn't good enough for you," River commented.

"Would it have been good enough for you, if our positions were reversed?" he demanded, suddenly angry. "But of course you don't need to answer that, do you _River_? Because we've already been there and we already know what you'd do. You'd give up all your remaining regenerations to heal me. You'd knock me out and handcuff me to a pole so you could sacrifice your life for mine. You'd risk the destruction of time itself to change a point in time that couldn't be rewritten. What I've done pales into insignificance in comparison."

"And what about my preferences? Did you consider that? I begged you not to change anything," she shot back. "You agreed!"

"I didn't agree to anything of the sort, and even if I had it wasn't fair of you to ask that of me, not then," he turned away, jamming his hands into his trouser pockets. "You experienced the crossing of our lives without having the knowledge of how it ended to colour every experience. The more time passed - the more I knew - the harder it was to carry that knowledge around."

"And what if it's gone wrong?" River asked. "What if you've changed your own past in some way, enough that you make different choices? If we don't meet as we're supposed to a paradox will be created. What then?"

"River, River," he shook his head. " _I altered a fix point in time_. You don't think I've got enough nous to affect a different outcome without breaking time?"

"I don't know, do I?" River titled her head as she regarded him with microscopic interest. "I don't understand what drove you to take such drastic steps. It doesn't feel like the you I thought I knew."

"Rest assured – my younger self is none the wiser," the Doctor dismissed. "Right now he's down there trying to understand how he can feel so much grief for someone he didn't really know. I preserved every moment from his point of view, even though it wasn't needed. There was only one key moment that couldn't be changed."

"When I whispered your name?" River guessed.

"That's the one," he confirmed. "The point when trust was established. He'll take that trust and he'll turn up every time you call, because he won't be able to stop himself. I _know_ ,” he put a hand to his chest earnestly. “Believe me, I thought long and hard about how to do this."

"I'm surprised you didn't confiscate my handcuffs."

"Oh, it was tempting," the Doctor retorted. "But you'd have suspected immediately that something was wrong. I couldn't risk one single decision being made in opposition to what happened the first time."

"So you what? Inserted more memory and then waited it out inside CAL's world?" she asked.

"You make it sound far less clever and brilliant that it was," he complained. "And you forget the Vashta Nerada were already there. The screwdriver I gave you isn't my latest – I have a new one. It's got a light setting," he said smugly. "I used it to push back the shadows so I could move around freely in the core."

"Oh, that's interesting, isn't it?" River commented.

"I _know_ ," he agreed. "There weren't any Vashta Nerada at the core for you but I know they were there, because I defeated them."

"Then maybe you were supposed to do exactly what you did," River suggested thoughtfully. "Maybe you haven't rewritten time at all – just lived up to what you were always going to do."

"You and I both know that these things seldom make sense," the Doctor shook his head. "There was evidence to support the truth of the consequences as I saw them back then, so I have to believe that prior to my actions today, you did end up stuck inside this make believe world forever."

"Is that all there is to the story – your updated screwdriver and a bit of technology," River froze, her expression shifting to enlightenment. "That's what you were doing on the commerce planet!"

"I needed the most up to date components I could find," he defended.

"So I helped in my own rescue," River laughed. "That really is typical of our relationship, isn't it?"

"I suppose," he allowed. He could have told her more, made the quest to save her sound as brave and clever as anything he'd ever attempted but his heart wasn't in it. She'd work it all out for herself eventually as little pieces of the adventure came to light naturally.

River was silent for a moment. She was almost shy when she looked up at him. "Why did you do this?" she asked. "Everything ends and everybody dies - you understand that more than most."

"Why did you take my place in that chair, even though you knew it would kill you?" he countered.

"Because I love you," she said simply.

"And is your love so much greater than mine?" he asked, his triumph suddenly dimmed by the realisation that saving her wasn't the entire battle. Taking her hand again he started walking, intent on distracting himself and her from the need to ask any more questions.

"Are you sure your younger self will know what to do with that screwdriver?" she asked.

"He'll work it out with just enough time to spare," the Doctor replied.

"I hope you're right," she said. While he was still thinking about whether that meant she'd forgiven him, she found another question to ask. "When did you decide to do this?"

"Always with the questions," he complained. She regarded him patiently and he sighed, caving because he knew she'd never let up until he did. "The first time I visited you after your pardon, when you gave me the letter from myself."

"Oh," she blinked. "Did that older version of you tell you to do this?"

"Not exactly," he admitted. "It was more about what a pathetic, grumpy old man I was going to be if I didn't do something to change the past. Apparently I became a miserable miser guarding every one of your days I hadn't already used up. A bit like Kazran and Abigail, only far more Scrooge like than the original Ebenezer himself."

"You're still going to need to send that letter in the future," she commented. "And you'll have to visit the younger me and warn me not to let you look at my diary."

" _I know_. This isn't exactly my first rodeo you know," he muttered, wondering not for the first time how River and Amy and Rory for that matter thought he'd gotten on before them.

"Don't worry, I'll remind you," she promised.

It hit him then, with a rush. She'd be around to remind him _because he'd saved her_. He'd actually saved River in every sense of the word.

Abruptly he grabbed her, pulling her into his arms and holding on for dear life – hers and his. Burying his head against her neck it was all he could do to swallow back the tears.


	14. A Complex and Confusing Relationship

They walked for a long time, not really speaking, enjoying the span of time where they could just exist together. Nowhere to run off to and for the moment, nothing that needed fixing.

Eventually they wound back to Charlotte's house. She was there before they knocked, smiling. "Look who's here," she giggled, grabbing each of them in one of her little girl hands and pulling them inside. In the living room four people sat on the couch, rising when the Doctor and River walked in.

"Anita," the Doctor exclaimed. "Proper Dave! Other Dave. And Miss Evangelista. How lovely to see you all. It's been a long time!"

"Ah ... hello?" Anita replied uncertainly, looking at River curiously.

"Don't mind him," she excused. "He's forgotten that to most people completely changing your appearance isn't normal. This is the Doctor – _my_ Doctor."

"The one who knows you?" Anita asked. "The one who can open his TARDIS with a click of his fingers?"

"Yes, that's him," River confirmed, smiling. Turning to Charlotte she continued. "How is it possible for them to be here?"

"I brought them here," Charlotte said without explaining how. "They can never return to the real world but they can live out their lives here. I thought it would be nice to have company again."

"And you're all okay with this?" River asked.

"I went from being dead to having this," Anita pointed out. "I'll take this. We all agreed – this is what we want. We know it's not a full life but it's still better than no life at all."

"Then I'm happy for you," River said simply.

"What about you?" Anita asked.

"We'll be going back, just as soon as the Doctor works out what he has to do," River explained. "Oh, not this Doctor," she added when Anita looked at her Doctor. "The younger one, back in the real world."

"You do realise how confusing this all is, don't you?"

"The life of a time traveller – never a dull moment," the Doctor broke in. "It's been lovely chatting with you all but I believe it's almost time for the big moment. Good luck – have a lovely eternity. Look me up if you ever find a way to leave The Library." He shook hands with the Dave's and air kissed the two women. "Come along River," he urged.

River took her time but eventually they were ready to leave. "Charlotte, it's been a pleasure," the Doctor said. "Ordinarily I'd say we'll see you again but we both know that isn't possible. I was able to hold back the Vashta Nerada for long enough to ensure River's safety but that was temporary at best. The planet belongs to them now. Once we leave, no one can ever return here."

"Doctor Moon and I will make sure the security locks cannot be broken this time," Charlotte promised.

"I wish there was a way we could take you with us," River murmured, hugging the little girl.

"You can – in your memories," Charlotte replied. "For what are we all in the end but memory inside the living mind of others."

"You are far too wise for your years," River touched a hand to the girls hair, smoothing it back in a motherly gesture.

"I'm one hundred and ten, remember?" Charlotte teased.

“Still young enough to be a child.” Laughing, River hugged her before stepping back. "Good luck," she said, letting the Doctor take her hand and guide her away.

"Will they be all right?" she asked as they left the house behind.

"Of course they will," the Doctor replied. "They've enough power to last for as good as forever and enough memory to expand if that's what they decide to do. The Vashta Nerada can't get to them and with the fail safes around the core, even if the rest of The Library gets destroyed, CAL will survive."

"So, what now?" River turned to him expectantly.

"Brace yourself," he urged, deciding that a hug was probably warranted. Once he had his arms around her he could admit that he was just a tiny bit nervous. "This is either going to go very well or very badly," he admitted. 'If it's the former, see you back in the real world. If it's the latter, I don't regret a thing."

The light engulfed them before she could reply, bringing with it the return of that tearing, being in two places sensation. When it stopped, the Doctor cautiously opened his eyes.

He was standing on the balcony exactly where he'd arrived what seemed like days ago now. In front of him, still hidden, would be the TARDIS. More importantly, beside him stood River Song.

"It's done," he murmured, savouring the feeling for a moment.

"It is," she agreed, taking a step towards the TARDIS.

"Hang on, not just yet," he cupped her elbow to keep her with him. "I need a copy of the transporter logs first."

"Why would you …," River stopped, her grin growing by the second as the Doctor squirmed. "You old softy," she crowed.

"Wanting to give a friend a chance at happiness is not being soft," he said defensively, striding quickly down the steps towards the closest computer console.

"Assuming he actually exists, Donna won't remember him," River said more seriously.

"I know, and from her point of view it'll be months before she'll meet him again," he agreed.

"Do you want me to take care of that part?" River offered.

He wanted them to do it together but clearly that wasn't the first thought in her head. They needed to talk but it wasn't the time. "Okay," he said instead. He finished scanning the computer with his screwdriver, storing the information for later use.

"Wait, my things," River said suddenly.

"I don't think we should push the agreement with the Vashta Nerada River," he cautioned. "They gave the Doctor twenty four hours to get everyone out, that's all."

"I can't leave my diary here," River insisted.

The Doctor took her hand, walking them to the balcony one over from where the TARDIS was hidden. There, sitting apart from the other books, was a familiar blue volume.

"Oh," River took it, clutching it to her chest. He'd known it was the one thing she wouldn't to leave and he'd made sure they could get to it easily. "Thank you," she said simple.

"There's nothing more we can do here," he said. "Time to go." They walked back to the spot they'd materialised at. The Doctor he snapped his fingers decisively. River laughed as the TARDIS decloaked, the door swinging open.

Slinging his arm around her shoulders the Doctor swaggered inside. "Hello kids … we're home."

* * *

"River!" Amy rushed forward as soon as the door closed behind the pair, with Rory close behind.

"Hello Mother," River grinned. "Father. Fancy seeing you both here."

"What? How?" Rory stuttered. "Oh, I get it – this is why you made us promise not to contact River. Because she was already here?"

"What happened?" Amy asked, looking from River back to the Doctor. "What did you do?"

"Why do you always assume I've done something?" he let go of River's hand, sidling past Amy and Rory to take up position at his controls – where he felt comfortable, if truth be told. Nothing like a whole lot of interesting and incomprehensible gadgets that he understood but that no one else did to have him feeling like he had the upper hand.

"Because I know you," Amy returned. "River, you're a good girl, you'll tell us."

River looked towards the Doctor but he resolutely kept himself separate. Let her decide for herself what she wanted to share. 

"You're right Amy, you do know the Doctor. Think about it," she urged when Amy looked ready to continue the interrogation. She left Amy and Rory standing there, making her way to the Doctor. Putting a hand over his, she asked quietly "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am," he grinned at her. "Aren't I always?" She sighed, leaving him with the distinct impression that he'd disappointed her. "You really want to continue this here, in front of your parents?" he asked in a low tone.

"No, but I'm not ready to go home either," she replied.

"Then don't," he said simply. "Stay – come and have adventures with me. All of time and space and running, remember?"

"You know that's not how it works," she said sadly.

He didn't want to return her to that lonely house in the fifty second century but he also knew there were a few key things he still had to take care of before they could have the future he envisaged. Even knowing all that he resented the fact that she could so easily say no to him.

"All right, your choice," he said like it didn't bother him. "Be my guest," he stepped back, waving her forward. She might need to go home and he might even understand why, but that didn't mean he had to help her.

"Wait, you're actually letting her fly the TARDIS?" Amy accused, eying him like she'd never seen him before. "You never let anyone fly the TARDIS!"

"Today I do," his eyes were on River's back and it galled him to admit that she knew what she was about. His magic box flew smooth and true under her guidance. "Amy, Rory, do the polite thing and see your daughter off. River, until next time," he said briskly, already on his way towards his rooms.

"Wait," she left the console and hurried after him, grabbing his arm to halt his progress. "Is that it?"

"What else is there?" he asked.

"What else is _there_?" she demanded, annoyed. "You can be so … infuriating! You manipulated events at multiple time points all for today, and then you leave without so much as a goodbye?"

"Oh, I see," he nodded, his tone more unkind than enlightened. He was irritated – something he didn't do well and always regretted afterwards. "It's okay for you to abandon me but it's not okay for me to abstain from watching you leave? Thank you for clarifying that!" He pulled his arm away, sure he'd say or do something he'd regret if he stayed. When he caught sight of Amy and Rory watching, silent and shocked, he sighed. Like forget that they had witnesses.

"You really think it's my choice to have our time lines reversed?" River asked quietly.

"Well, now that you mention it, yes I do!" he shot back, unable to resist replying. "It has to be one of us River and I've never been the one turning up willy nilly or sending out calls for help to the wrong points in time! You have an affinity with my TARDIS that I don't even have – you're connected to the time vortex. Who else, if not you?"

River stared at him, shocked. Her eyes filled with tears but she didn't cry.

"It really never crossed your mind?" the Doctor asked.

"No," she admitted.

"Then its right that you don't stay, not this time," he said simply. "You always know where to find me River … and you know you're always welcome."

She opened her mouth, intent on saying something.

" _Uh!_ No more," he pleaded, pressing gentle fingers to her lips. "Not today River … leave me be for today."

She nodded, swallowing back those tears that still threatened. They looked at each other silently for a moment before he sighed. "I suppose you still want that goodbye."

She nodded again, watching him intently.

"Ponds, look away," the Doctor called, before he gathered River to him and kissed her. Being River, she didn't let him keep it light, grabbing hold of his lapels and putting her all into it. He forgot Amy and Rory were there, forgot where he was enough that he staggered, stumbling against the wall as he tore himself away before he found his footing. "O-kay," he said in the absence of anything intelligent being in his head. "That was … o-kay," he swallowed, scratching nervously at his cheek.

"Well, damned with faint praise," River teased. Reaching out she wiped lipstick from the corner of his mouth. "I'm sure I can do better than 'okay'."

"Right, it's definitely time for you to go home," the Doctor announced. The TARDIS, with impeccable timing, made the rematerializing sounds as it touched down outside River's house. "You left the breaks on?" he found himself strangely touched.

" _Well_ , I know how much you love hearing her land," River excused. "She doesn't mind."

"Go on, she loves it too, don't you old girl?"

River watched him, her smile falling away until she was regarding him seriously. "Are we good?" she asked.

"We're good," he confirmed. "Go, get some rest. Do some thinking. I'll see you soon."

"Okay," River nodded, hesitated and then quickly hugging him again. Her exit from the TARDIS left behind a silence the Doctor had no interest in filling. Amy and Rory were seasoned travellers – they could look after themselves.

"I'll just …," he nodded vaguely in the direction of his rooms before hurrying off.

* * *

"Well, what do you make of all that?" Amy asked her husband.

"They have a complex and confusing relationship," Rory replied. "I don't think we're supposed to make anything of it."

"But she's our daughter, and he's our friend, and they're both unhappy," Amy protested.

"Are they?"

"Of course," Amy exclaimed. "Didn't you see his expression when he stepped back to let her fly the TARDIS? He didn't want her to go. And what he said, about their time lines being screwed up because that's the way River wants it? That doesn't sound like a happy man to me."

"He's the Doctor," Rory said it like it was all the answer needed.

"So, he's the Doctor so he should be unhappy?" Amy frowned. "How does that make any sense?"

"It doesn't, but then neither does River getting older and seeing him progressively younger. He's eleven hundred years old Amy. You don't think he's been unhappy more than once in the past? Everyone either grows old or leaves while he stays the same. It'd kind of implied that he's going to be unhappy."

It was a long speech for Rory and it did bring Amy up short. "You're right," she agreed. "That's what worries me. He's tired and he doesn't seem to be bouncing back like I'm sure he used to."

"And we'll watch out for him as much as we can because of that," Rory promised. "We can't interfere in whatever's between him and River, even if we could work out how."

"I know," Amy sighed. "I just wish we could. They should be together."

"They should, and maybe part of what the Doctor was on about today is about that."

"Do you really think so?" Amy asked hopefully.

"He's the Doctor," Rory repeated. "Anything is possible."


	15. Ball and Chain

He'd done it. He'd saved River, without affecting his own timeline. All of his memories seemed as they should be. He still remembered that feeling of inexplicable loss, that sense of knowing someone when he didn't know them at all. He still remembered the shock when River whispered his name in his ear.

Everything was as it should be, and for the first time he and River were standing at the same point in time. Every encounter she'd had with any prior versions of himself had already taken place – they had to have, because she wasn't meant to survive the day. And as far as he knew, the only encounters he hadn't personally experienced were the ones stemming from the most important one of all. The day he'd given her his name, the day that was crucial for ensuring no paradoxes resulted from his efforts at The Library.

"It's time to pay the piper," he muttered. Time to do something he'd sworn to himself he would never do again after losing Gallifrey and everything – everyone – that was important to him. If he was going to do it – and he was at the point where he could admit he’d be more than a little disappointed if it turned out he was wrong – there was no point in playing it safe. " _In for a penny, in for a pound_ ," he thought.

"Everything all right?" he asked as he strode back into the control room. The way Amy and Rory clammed up suggested they'd been talking about him … again.

"Yes, why wouldn't it be," Amy replied. She watched him operating the controls for a moment. "Where are we going now?"

"Somewhere I think you'll enjoy," the Doctor promised. "There's something I need to do, something crucial if we don't want a time paradox to form and eventually destroy everything around us."

"Right, so nothing really that important then," Amy commented.

"What do you need to do?" Rory asked.

"I need to marry your daughter," the Doctor said bluntly, "that is of course assuming I have your permission. Given that the River we just saw _is_ actually my wife I think it's safe to say you'll agree."

"Um, okay?" Rory looked at his wife for guidance.

"I thought you were already married," Amy said.

"You mean that little event on top of the pyramid in a timeline that no longer exists?" the Doctor queried. "A ruse, a trick, staged only so I could show River my true self inside the Teselecta. You already know all this Amelia Pond – River told you."

"She did but she never mentioned that the wedding itself didn't count," Amy said irritably.

"She's River, she lies, just like I do. In any case, that time line no longer exists so even if it had been a true marriage it too would no longer exist."

"But we all remember it," Rory pointed out.

"Because we've spent so much time close to the time vortex," the Doctor explained. "That allows all of us to remember multiple alternate timelines at the same time. Like Rory the Centurion and the Girl Who Waited. You each remember the other versions of yourself even though technically neither of those series of events occurred."

"So you and River aren't married?" Amy clarified.

"Not yet, no," the Doctor confirmed.

"And you actually _want_ to marry her?" Rory asked uncertainly.

"Oi, that's our daughter you're talking about there," Amy smacked Rory's arm, glaring at him.

"I didn't mean it that way," Rory protested. "But she is a bit of a handful, isn't she?"

"Before you start arguing the merits of your daughter, let me cut in," the Doctor said firmly. "Yes Rory, I do want to marry your daughter, but more than that I already have. All that's left is for me, for _us_ , to fall in with a series of events that have already happened.

"You mean you married her in the past," Rory rubbed at his forehead. "How do you know when it happened?"

"I don't, not yet. But I will, when it's the right time. I expect River will send me some kind of signal to make it easy for me – she never was one to leave anything to chance."

"And we get to come along," Amy jumped up and down excitedly. "Our daughter's getting married," she crowed, grabbing Rory's arm.

"To a Time Lord who'll never age," Rory said bluntly.

"That's right Rory, I won't ever age. I'll only change," the Doctor agreed.

"What kind of life it that for her? To grow old or wake up one day to the face of a stranger?"

"The best one she'll ever have," the Doctor promised. "She's not human Rory, not completely. She was conceived right here in the TARDIS as we were flying through the time vortex. I don't understand how it happened but the TARDIS contributed something to River's creation, something Time Lord."

"So wait, what you're saying is that River won't age either?" Amy stopped jumping excitedly.

"Ask her how old she is when we see her," the Doctor invited. "It's true that she can't regenerate – if she dies again that's it. But outside of unnatural causes, River will go on as she is for many, many years."

"How do you know?" Rory asked.

"Because she told me." The Doctor looked at his friend intently. "So, knowing all this, do I have your approval?"

"Are you going to give up if I say no?" Rory asked.

"Rory!" Amy smacked his arm again.

"It's a fair question and the answer is of course not," the Doctor smiled. "It's already a done deal, remember."

"How do you know that?"

The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck, quickly coming to the realisation that he'd have to share some of what made a true Gallifreyan wedding with his friends. "I can't go in to the details but there's a reason why a Time Lord doesn't go around introducing himself to everyone. We have assumed titles because we have to. The only time we _can_ reveal our true names is when we take a life partner."

"And River already knows your name," Rory deduced.

"Yes," the Doctor confirmed. "The first time I met her, before I knew who she was, I didn't trust her. It was getting in the way of securing the safety of the people she was responsible for so she took me aside and she told me my name. And then she apologised."

"She knows your name!" Amy stamped her foot. "She lied to me again!"

"If she did it was because she had to Amy," the Doctor defended. "To protect the timeline. It's not good to have future knowledge – surely you understand that more than most."

"So all those times we bumped into River, all the adventures we'd had, every time she called you her love, you knew she was going to be your wife one day?"

"Are you going to hit me if I say yes?" the Doctor took a step back, keeping his distance from Amy.

"Ooh!" Amy growled.

"You get to come to the wedding," the Doctor reminded her.

“Then I suppose you're forgiven,” Amy said grudgingly.

“Thank you,” he replied, smiling.

The psychic paper always gave him a little jolt when a message arrived, a 'hey, look at me' jab in the chest. When it was River it always seemed to have an extra spark of something. "Ah, there it is," he announced, reaching into the usual pocket and pulling out his bill fold. Flipping it open, he laughed.

"What does it say?" Amy asked. He held it up so she and Rory could see the message.

" _The old ball and chain, huh?_ "

"I don't get it," Rory admitted. "How does that tell you where River is?

"Rory, Rory," the Doctor admonished. "Rory the Roman, the Last Centurion. You still haven't worked it out yet?"

"Worked what out?" Amy quizzed.

"How the psychic paper works, for one thing," the Doctor replied. "It's time stamped – it always is. I see the message much as you both do but I also see when it was written or more precisely where and when the situation is that calls to me."

"You can trace all that, like you did that little boy with the night terrors," Amy commented.

"Precisely." The Doctor grinned. "So, shall we?"

"Shall we what?" Amy glanced at Rory and he shrugged.

"Have you not been paying attention Ponds?" Exasperated, the Doctor dashed around the console and started flicking switches. Once he'd honed in on the source of the message he sent the TARDIS spinning away through space. "Your daughter has summoned us to her wedding."

"What, now?" Rory looked suddenly a bit sick.

"No, no, no," Amy protested. "I'm not going to my daughter's wedding dressed like this."

"Of course you're not," the Doctor agreed. "You have time to spruce yourselves up. Amy, if I'm not mistaken you'll find something appropriate in the closet down the hall from your room."

"What about you?" Amy eyed his usual outfit with distaste. "Because you're not wearing that."

The Doctor thought about protesting but there was no point. She was right. Cool as tweed and bow ties were, he couldn't turn up to the real wedding of River Song dressed like it was just another day. 

"Don't worry Amelia Pond, mother of the bride, I won't embarrass you."

Amy blinked, pressing her lips together.

"What's wrong?" Rory asked.

"Mother of the bride," Amy repeated weakly. "That's going to take some getting used to. I'm not old enough for this. Oh God, I am, aren't I?"

"Come on then old girl," Rory teased, putting his arm around her shoulders and gently leading her away. "Let's find you something befitting your age and beauty."

"Ah Rory, you charmer," the Doctor muttered, standing where he was, lost in his thoughts. The TARDIS shook as it passed through some time turbulence. "Right, of course, no time for day dreaming. If I know River Song it won't be considered fashionable for either of us to turn up late."

He wasn't particularly vain as far as his appearance went – contrary to how it might seem given how particular each incarnation of himself had been about his outfit. That had always been more about identity – a signature that was obvious and both signified that things had changed as well as the differences in personality that existed. How he looked was probably important to River though so he took the time to scan through his closet, looking for something that jumped out at him, something she'd like.

When his fingers touched the white suit he knew he'd found a winner. It wasn't the one he'd worn when he'd taken Kazran and Abigail to the late 1960's. This one had longer tails and a wider collar. With black pants, a black shirt and a white bow tie, he'd be spiffy enough to please even River. That and focussing on the practical tasks helped him put what he was doing to the back of his mind.

He was back in the control room well before Rory and Amy reappeared. It was the sound of Rory clearing his throat in a meaningful 'pay attention' way that had him spinning to regard his friends. Rory was wearing a dark pin striped suit with a blue shirt underneath and a classic tie, while Amy wore a wispy sort of dress, green, that floated around her and showed off her long legs and pale skin, and brought out the sparkle in her eyes.

"Wow, look at you," the Doctor crowed, dashing down the stairs and shaking Rory's hand as he slapped the man fondly across the shoulder. "Rory Williams in a suit! And Amelia Pond," he held out his hands and Amy took them, her eyes dancing with laugher and excitement. "You look … stunning. Your husband is a very lucky man," he raised her hand to his lips and kissed her with gallant flair.

"And he knows it," Rory purposefully removed his wife's hands from the Doctor, putting his hand to her waist to remind everyone that Amy was his …. as much as she'd let herself be anyone's. "That's enough of that," he said firmly.

"Spoil sport," the Doctor pouted but he couldn't hold it for long, the urge to grin at the sight his friends made too strong. He held out his arms and turned around in a circle. "So, how do I look? Cool right?"

Amy reached out and straightened his bow tie. "You do … even this tie is cool."

"Well thank you Amelia Pond." The Doctor spun away again, dashing back up the steps and pulling the lever to land the TARDIS. "Into the breach," he announced a moment later.

"Wait," Amy shouted. "You can't just go out there."

"Yes I can," the Doctor went to step around Amy but she shifted with him, putting her hand on his chest.

"Don't you know anything about weddings?"

"There's usually interesting food and dancing," the Doctor supplied helpfully.

"Yes, but before that there's a wedding ceremony and it's generally considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride before that ceremony begins. Isn't that right?" she looked at Rory for support.

"It's a girl thing," Rory offered the only explanation he could. "It's usually best to just go along with what they want."

"It might be bad luck for an Earth wedding, but not for my people," the Doctor told Amy, "and River is as much Time Lord as she is human."

"At least let me ask her first," Amy insisted.

"Go on then, but don't take too long," the Doctor stepped aside and waved a hand for Amy to proceed.

"Rory," Amy all but ordered her husband to accompany her.

"We'll be back," Rory promised, giving the Doctor one of those awkward, what choice do I have Rory Williams looks.

The Doctor stood and watched them disappear out the door. "Well, this is not what I was expecting at all," he muttered, looking around in dismay.

* * *

In the living room of her small home River Song paced, waiting for the Doctor to arrive. She'd sent him a message, the most important one of all, because something told her it was the right time.

She'd been out of the facility for a few weeks but the Doctor had only visited her a couple of times. Things hadn't changed as much as she'd hoped either – there'd been that strange day when he'd seemed determined to find a way to avoid her forever but had finished by almost kissing the socks off her. He knew so much about her and yet he still kept a large part of himself closed away. He'd hug her, hold her hand, and lately even kiss her goodbye and always she'd long for more. But there never was more because at the moment when she'd think 'yes, this time' he'd break away, give her one of those nervous, startled looks and then almost run away, back to his TARDIS.

She wanted the Doctor – _all_ of the Doctor – and was tired of receiving less. He would either have to let her in, let her be with him in every way, or she'd have to end it. She couldn't live her life wondering when he's show up, stuck with so much frustration, day in and day out. It would drive her insane.

The only trouble was, she wasn't sure how he was going to react. She wasn't sure he'd even come to her. If he didn't it would be the first time … and it would break her, much as she imagined the day she met his youngest self, the one who didn't know her, would. It had all gotten a bit twisted around since she'd left Stormcage - older and younger versions of him all mixed in together - and it left her so uncertain she found it hard to relax. Perhaps that was why she'd chosen to finally bring the 'woman who married the Doctor' part of their legend out into the open.

The sound of someone at the door was unnaturally loud in the silence. Jumping up she hurried to answer it. She was holding her breath by the time it swung open to reveal two figures. Her parents. With a sigh, River hid her disappointment, greeting them with a smile.

"He got my message then?" she asked as soon as they'd stepped inside. She was dressed for a normal day because stupidly she hadn't wanted to jinx anything by making assumptions. She'd invited her family to her wedding but she hadn't dared to buy a wedding dress.

"Yes he did," Amy replied. "He's waiting back at the TARDIS because I insisted on talking to you first."

"Oh Mummy, you worry too much," River admonished. She wasn't sure what to make of the situation. Her parents were dressed up which gave her hope that her invitation had been accepted. But they didn't look as excited as she'd hoped – if she had to assign one word to them it would be wary.

"And you don't worry enough," Amy replied. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"You surprise me," River's teasing façade dropped away, leaving the serious side she rarely showed behind. "If either of you were going to protest I thought it would be Rory."

"Oh, don't think he's mister innocent. He's already had words with the Doctor," Amy spoke before Rory could.

"And I thought the Doctor was your friend," River looked at Amy intently, "your _best_ friend."

"He is," Amy insisted, "and I don't want him to get hurt. Did he ask you to marry him River, or is this something you're dragging him into because he always responds when you call?"

"You make him sound like a dog," River protested. "It was always his free choice."

"Was it?" Amy shook her head. "When you do crazy things like fall off of tall buildings and expect him to be there to catch you."

"I fall off tall buildings?" River was surprised her mother didn't even consider the fact that she might be revealing things she wasn't supposed to know. "Ooh, how exciting!"

"Spoilers," Rory muttered.

"I suppose we should have done the diary thing first," Amy acknowledged. "Where are we at for you?"

"I'm just joking," River laughed. "I've been out of Stormcage for a few months, and yes, this is really where I live now."

"It's lovely," Amy looked around and seemed to actually be paying attention. "Much better than prison."

"Well, that wouldn't be difficult, would it?" River smiled. "And how late it is for you then?"

"Late, very, very late," Rory nudged Amy impatiently. "Ask her so we can get out of here. He's waiting."

"Ask me what?"

"I'm getting to that," Amy said irritably. "You haven't answered my question River. Who's idea was all this?"

"Do you _really_ think the Doctor would marry anyone without a big push?" River replied matter-of-factly.

"And you're okay with that?" Amy didn't deny that she was right.

"I will be," River smiled sadly. "Do you want him to be out there alone? Because that's where he's heading. He doesn't need another companion he fully expects will leave him. He needs someone he believes will always be there – this is the only way I know to convince him he can count on that with me. You won't be with him forever – at some point you'll have to stop travelling and start living your life together."

"We did start," Amy said defensively. "We're taking a break, is all."

"A break?" River looked sceptical. "When you’ve done nothing to establish a career that satisfies you? You'll be out of time before you're even aware of it if you don't start paying attention."

"Hey, I'm not that old," Amy protested. "In fact at this point in time I might even be younger than you!"

"It doesn't matter," Rory piped up, "because she's right. We'll leave and he'll be as bad as he was after that crazy hotel."

"So you're willing to sacrifice your own daughter so that doesn't happen?"

"No, I'm willing to give them both my blessing so they can do what they'll do anyway, regardless of anything we say," Rory countered in his serious way. "He loves her," he added before Amy could argue again.

"Do you really think so?" River looked at her father hopefully.

"Don't you know?" Rory frowned.

"He plays his cards very close," River admitted, "and he always runs back to the TARDIS when things get too serious."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Amy muttered. She looked at River, reading the stubborn intent easily, and sighed. "Okay, fine, you have my blessing too. But if you hurt each other I'm coming after both of you, understand?"

"Oh yes," River laughed. If she'd been dressed for the occasion she would have twirled. "How does he look?"

"Amazing," Amy said immediately.

"Hey, I'm standing right here," Rory protested.

"Amazing, but not as amazing as you," Amy corrected, patting her husband's cheek fondly. She turned back to River. "You on the other hand need a serious make over."

"The TARDIS will have what I need," River assured them.

"But then the Doctor will see you – on your wedding day," Amy pointed out.

"And?" River asked.

"And it's bad luck!"

"That's an old wives tale, nothing more," River dismissed. "I'm an archaeologist, I know these things. Besides, we're doing this according to Gallifreyan custom, and it's not bad luck for them." She stood, linking her arms one on each side with her parents. "Shall we?" she asked.

"We shall," Amy replied.


	16. Human Traditions

Glancing at his watch for the umpteenth time the Doctor paced around the console. "How long does it take to ask River about a silly Earth tradition?" he complained to the TARDIS.

Amy and Rory had been gone for ages. Maybe there was a problem. Maybe he'd misinterpreted River's message completely, because he'd been too focussed on what he knew he'd have to do eventually. The timing had been quite coincidental – he’d no sooner finished telling Amy and Rory what had to happen and then he was receiving her summons. Maybe she was in need of rescuing again and he's sent his best friends in unprepared.

"I should go and check," he muttered. "Should I? I should, shouldn't I?" He was halfway down the steps when the door burst open and there she was. "What sort of time do you call this?" he demanded before he could stop himself.

She laughed with delight. "The best time of all," she moved closer, her eyes running up and down him so intently he was sure there was no part of him she hadn't checked. "My, don't you look delicious."

"What, this old thing?" he lifted one side of his jacket outwards to display the white suspenders stark against his black shirt. She laughed again and every ounce of his previous bad mood was just gone. This was right … it felt exactly right. "I have to say your attire is a surprise. I thought you'd pay a little more homage to human traditions."

"Oh believe me, I intend to," River promised. Moving closer still she stopped when they were toe to toe, running a teasing finger down his chest. "Any preferences?"

"Preferences?" he swallowed nervously, wondering if they were still talking about the same thing.

"The TARDIS can provide me with any dress I can imagine," River smiled.

"Right, your dress," he nodded as though he'd never thought any differently but she chuckled, giving him that come hither look she was so good at. Oh, how he enjoyed flirting with her. He'd never really bothered with anyone else – maybe because it wouldn't have been so satisfying. "Surprise me," he invited.

"Always my love," River leaned up and pressed a quick, teasing kiss to his lips before she was off again. "Take us somewhere sublime sweetie. I'll be ready by the time we get there." With a wink and a sexy little wave she sashayed from the room.

"Are you really sure you want to take on that?" Rory asked.

"Of course I'm sure," the Doctor replied. "Couldn't be surer. Is that a word – surer? Well, if it wasn't it is now."

"You're babbling," Amy pointed out, amused. "It's really sweet."

"I think you're mistaken," the Doctor dismissed. "Now, tell me what you said to River that took so long."

"Nothing much," Amy prevaricated.

"Amy," the Doctor said sternly. "She covered it well but she was upset, so I'll ask you again. What did you say to her?"

"She's about to marry the Doctor," Amy said quietly. "I just wanted to make sure she understands what she's getting herself into."

"She understands," the Doctor insisted. "She was the one who invited me here!"

"Exactly," Amy muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

" _She_ invited you," Amy reiterated. "Maybe that's romantic for you but a woman likes to imagine how things will be when she finally meets the right man and falls in love. Having to push him into marriage isn't what we dream of."

"She's not pushing me into marriage," the Doctor protested. 'Is that really what she thinks?"

"Why would she think anything different?" Amy looked at him carefully. "You keep a part of yourself so closed off it's impossible to break through. Have you ever even told her you love her?"

"That's a bit private, isn't it?" he muttered, throwing her a disgruntled look that just didn't stick. "Oh, fine. I have but quite possibly not this particular version of River. It's hard to keep all the differences organised in my head and we can hardly do a diary check." He put on a sappy sarcastic sounding voice. "Have I told you I love you yet? No? Well yes, _now_. Oops!" He sighed. "Maybe I've erred too much on the side of less information."

"Spoilers," Rory murmured.

"Spoilers," the Doctor agreed. "You know, I've really come to hate that word."

"I don't care what you've told other versions of River," Amy told him purposefully. "You're not marrying those versions. You're marrying that girl who just walked through the door, the one who's not certain why you answered this particular invitation. You need to go and talk to her, now, before you do anything else."

The Doctor glanced in the direction that River had gone and let out a sigh. "I suppose you're right," he agreed. "Talk amongst yourselves until I get back."

It was galling to have a companion tell him what he should do and realise that they were right, that he was in fact wrong. Outside River's door he hesitated, listening to the sounds of movement inside. When he knocked it took a few moments for her to answer.

"Oh, it's you," River turned back to the dresser she'd been sitting in front of, reaching for her makeup. "I was thinking Amy had decided to come and give me some help – she'd call it help but really she just wants to supervise. I don't think she trusts me to pick something appropriate to wear." She was rambling and very deliberately keeping her eyes away from his. Yes, definitely upset.

"River, stop for a moment," he requested quietly, moving a few more steps into the room.

"I need to get this done," River leaned closer, intent on doing something to her eyelashes.

" _River_ ," he said more forcefully.

She jolted, freezing for a moment before carefully putting her tools down. She kept her back to him and didn't say anything and all at once he realised she was braced for him to tell her he'd changed his mind.

"Would you look at me please," he walked forward until he stood behind her chair, settling his hands over her shoulders. Their eyes met in the mirror, his too serious, hers too shiny. "Don't," he pleaded "Don't cry."

"I'm not crying, yet," she replied, shifting her shoulders until he reluctantly let go. She pushed back her chair, forcing him back a few steps too, turning to face him. "If you say the wrong thing I might, so choose your next words carefully."

"I love you." His voice was unsteady and really the opposite of confident. He sounded rusty and his voice actually cracked on the most important word. As a declaration went, he could have done much better, had in fact done far better on Darillium.

"Oh," she looked up at him, the tears that had only threatened surging up and spilling over to run down her cheeks.

"No, no, _no_ ," he raised a hand and swiped at the tears with his thumb. "How can that be the wrong thing?"

"It's not the wrong thing," she smiled through her tears. "It's the right thing."

"Then why are you crying? You're not living up to your end of the bargain here."

"Because you said it and it wasn't what I expected and I wasn't sure you'd ever admit it," she rushed out.

"I may be the stubbornest Time Lord in creation but even I know when I'm beaten," he smiled, caressing her cheek now that the tears had stopped. "I don't mind being beaten River."

She laughed, grabbing his face with both hands and pulling him down towards her. She kissed him with so much energy he wasn't sure he could have let go. Lucky for him River had her priorities firmly in place and the first of those was to make herself the Doctor's wife before something happened to prevent it.

"We'll have to pick this up later," River patted his cheeks and then let go, spinning back to her dressing table with renewed enthusiasm. "I have a wedding to get ready for."

He stood for a moment watching her as the realisation dawned on him. Declaring his feelings wasn't enough. With a sigh he dropped down to sit on her bed, close enough that he could grab her chair and pull her around to face him.

"Doctor!" she protested, glaring at him.

"You need to learn that you won't always be the one in control River Song," he warned in a serious tone.

"Has anyone ever told you how sexy you get when you're all commanding and irritated?" she teased.

"They have now," he didn't let himself get distracted. "I want you to listen to me – without interrupting. Can you do that?"

"Of course," she rolled her eyes, insulted that he'd think she didn't know how to listen.

"Good," he took her hands in his, his gaze on the way they fit within his, how small they were in comparison. When he looked up, his eyes locked onto hers until it was impossible for her to look away.

"Let's ignore for the moment why I'm here on this particular day. I can't explain it yet but the timing was always beyond my reach. I had to wait for you to signal that it was the right time. That being said, an invitation to turn up doesn't constitute a marriage proposal." 

She opened her mouth to protest and he shushed her with a steely expression.

"My turn to talk," he reminded her. "Your invitation wasn't a proposal – if we're being completely accurate there hasn't actually been a proposal, on either side. On Gallifrey I would take you to the Mountains of Solace and Solitude. We'd sit under the silver trees and wait until the second sun set, turning their leaves to fire. Then I would do this." He leaned forward until their foreheads touched, making the telepathic link with ease. In the language of Gallifrey he declared his intent to be true only to her and asked her for the same promise in return.

It was like a caress across his thoughts and it touched him everywhere. " _You have my promise to be true only to you._ " River's thoughts were strong and powerful in the manner of her confidence and certainty. It was a trait of those from Gallifrey – the ability for telepathy. That she'd been able to communicate in the same way, utilising the language of his lost home, cemented in his mind the truth of her existence. He’d known it, given the regenerations and her propensity with the psychic paper, but never acknowledged it to himself. She _was_ Time Lord, in all the ways that counted.

With a sigh he broke the link, shifting back so that he could look at her. "Thank you," he said, aware that he should probably have asked her first before invading her thoughts and bombarding her with his.

"I feel … strange," she said dreamily, "in _such_ a good way." With a blink her gaze sharpened. "Is that something we can do any time? Because if it is, oh the possibilities!"

"I was right the first time I called you a bad girl, wasn't I?"

"You have no idea," she teased.

"Right, well I'll leave you to finish getting ready then," he pushed her chair back so that he could stand up. He was almost at the door when he stopped, glancing back at her. "I'll need your help to create the necessary elements for a true Gallifreyan marriage ceremony. If you'll allow it?"

"Of course," she agreed promptly. "You'll have what you need."

Nodding he hesitated for a moment more before leaving her room without another word. On the other side of the closed door he stopped, leaning back against the wall weakly. It had been more intense than he'd expected, to reconnect with that part of himself after so long. It would be harder still to do so again, on a larger scale for the ceremony itself. Yet he must, because it was the only way to share as fully as he needed to, everything that River needed to know.

He took a few more moments to steady himself before continuing back to the console room. 

"Well?" Amy demanded as soon as he reappeared.

"Mission accomplished Captain Pond," he declared with a crisp salute, moving around her to check on the TARDIS's progress. "Almost there, but I think we'll give River a few more minutes to finish getting ready. You women really need to look at the necessity for the various things you do to yourselves."

"We _women_?" Amy repeated pointedly.

"Yes," he winced. "Oh shut up, I'm about to get married."

"True, I really should cut you some slack, shouldn't I?" Amy agreed.

"I'd certainly appreciate it," the Doctor admitted.

"Right then, I'll just go and give River a hand."

"She said you wouldn't trust her to pick something appropriate to wear."

"Oh she did, did she?" Amy's eyes narrowed as she strode from the room in an ‘I mean business’ way.

"River can handle her," the Doctor said before Rory could point out it hadn't exactly been a kindness to direct Amy in her direction. "These kinds of mother daughter moments are important."

"They are," Rory agreed, glad for a moment of 'non-wedding crazy' man time. "How does this work?" he ventured after a few minutes of silence.

"It's very difficult to describe," the Doctor replied, "and it differs depending on what chapter of the Academy you belonged to." Time Lords belonged to different sects – like a sorority back on Earth. His had been the Prydonians. They were known to attract the more devious and renegade of time lords so perhaps it wasn't a surprise that they'd been his choice. They were of course gone now but the ceremonies specific to each lived on in his memory.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Rory admitted.

"Like I said, it's difficult to explain," the Doctor reiterated. "I should warn you that the ceremony is a cerebral event."

"A cerebral event?" Rory frowned. "Cerebral as in brain?"

"Cerebral as in taking place within the mind," the Doctor clarified. "Time Lords are telepathic. Our most important occasions were conducted at a telepathic level, mostly because we became a suspicious, secular bunch very intent on maintaining our privacy. It's why Gallifreyan is the only language that cannot be translated."

"Right," Rory nodded like he understood. "Hang on, if this is all a mental thing, why did we have to get dressed up?"

"Because Amy and River expect it. It's a small thing to give them what they want."

"True," Rory agreed. "We should probably look like we're suffering a bit though. I'm not that keen on wearing a suit unless it's absolutely necessary."

"That's good advice," the Doctor agreed.

"So you're going to be projecting things into our minds?" Rory asked. "That doesn't sound pleasant, no offence."

"I'm not going to invade your minds, that would be rude," the Doctor countered. "River and I will create a sort of mental landscape I suppose you'd call it, along with a kind of bubble of perception surrounding it. If you and Amy are willing, you'll be able to step through the bubble and see what we see."

"Will we be able to hear what you say?"

"Some of it yes, but you won't understand any one it," the Doctor admitted. "It has to be Gallifreyan."

"And the TARDIS translation matrix doesn't do Gallifreyan," Rory finished. "You know you're going to have to do this again, on Earth, in English. Once Amy realises she's not really witnessing your marriage she won't stop until she gets a ceremony she can understand."

"Right, of course," the Doctor grimaced, glancing over at his friend. "Will it be like your wedding because that was cool."

"You weren't there for the ceremony," Rory reminded him. "The dinner and the party afterwards isn't the hard part."

"I'll leave it up to River," the Doctor decided. "She's a sensible girl. I really don't think she'll want to do this twice."

"You really are deluded, aren't you?" Rory laughed when the Doctor looked insulted.

They had to wait longer than the Doctor thought River could possibly spend fussing over herself before Amy and his future bride finally made their way back to the centre of the TARDIS.>/p>

As soon as he saw her, he decided that every moment he'd waited had been worth it. She was stunning … her dark blue dress figure hugging until it cleared her hips where it draped over her legs, dragging on the ground. The bodice was cut deep enough to show off cleavage – dragging his eyes upward he flushed when River winked. He'd been caught ogling her – he refused to feel bad about that because surely that had been her intent, otherwise why wear such a dress? It was made of a slinky, shiny fabric too, that begged him to touch it, to test how soft it was.

"Wow," was all he said, but it was enough because words were his thing. Being rendered to one word of dialogue was like the best compliment of all. Holding out his hand he waited for River to take it, crooking his elbow so she could place her other hand there.

He counted on Rory to do the right thing by Amy – he was fully focused on River. When he opened the door and they stepped outside, River laughed. "This is interesting – probably not sublime but interesting."

They were in a common back yard, with green grass and shrubs and a garden shed. All was cast in night time shadow, only the light of the stars and the full moon to guide them.

"Oh," Amy exclaimed, stopping abruptly. Rory stopped too, looking around in amazement.

"What is it?" River asked.

"It's the house where Amy grew up," the Doctor explained. "This is where it all began, where _you_ began if you want to get philosophical."

"The crack in my wall," Amy said.

"The crack in your wall, and your prayer to Santa to send someone to fix it. Or a policeman."

"Instead I got a police public call box and a crazy, hungry man who didn't like anything I had in my kitchen," Amy laughed, reminiscing. "It seems so long ago now."

"That's because it was … and actually, it didn't really happen like that, not once we rebooted the universe."

"It happened for me, that's all that matters," Amy insisted.

"Is this okay?" the Doctor asked River uncertainly.

"It's perfect," River replied. "I didn't think it mattered where we did this as long as we did it, but being here does add something."

"I agree," the Doctor grinned. "Are you ready?"

"The TARDIS showed me what I need to do," River offered. "I don't think she trusted you to get it right."

"Eleven hundred years old and still unappreciated," he muttered.

"Wait, this is it?" Amy asked. "Where's the minister or the celebrant? Where are the guests?"

"We don't need someone to officiate," River revealed gently, "and the only guests of importance are already here."

"Rory, fill Amy in while River and I set things up," the Doctor ordered, taking his soon to be wife’s hand.


	17. Gallifreyan Customs

With River’s hands in his, the Doctor leaned down until he could touch his forehead to hers. With a sigh he reached out to her, telepathically. She met him eagerly.

_Calm. Sustain._

The symbols came from him and she understood and acknowledged it, toning down the level of energy she was projecting as she understood that she'd be drained before the end if she didn't control her input.

_Mountains._

Together they built the scene. Red mountains, tall and majestic, rising into the purple sky.

_Trees._

Silver limbed creations with leaves like finely wrought filigree sprung up, creating a forest at the base of the mountain and up its slopes.

_Light._

Sunlight burst from the sky, touching the leaves and setting them alight.

_Temple._

A glass dome grew from the ground surrounding them, circular without visible joins anywhere on its surface. The reflections case by the sun and the trees outside the dome created a rainbow effect that dazzled the eyes. It was as sublime a place as any River would ever see.

_Now._

They pushed the mental image outwards until it was as large as Gallifrey would be if they could truly stand together in such a place, and then altered the reality of it to make it possible for Amy and Rory to join them. The setting was complete. All it required was for their witnesses to step inside.

"Amy, Rory," the Doctor didn't shift his physical position, keeping his connection to River. "Open your minds."

"I'm trying," Amy said impatiently after a few moments, "but it's not working."

"Your minds will remain private Mother," River assured her. "Trust us."

"I do," Amy protested. "This is just not what I was expecting for my daughter's wedding!"

"We'll do something else another time, just for you," River promised.

"What? We will?" the Doctor almost opened his eyes in dismay. Rory had been right – bugger it!

"Hush," River admonished. “Focus."

"I am focussed," he returned. "I'm not the one promising god only knows what to your Mother."

"You'll be fine," River dismissed his concerns. "Mother, Father – are you going to join us?"

"Fine," Amy took an audible breath and an instance later, in the Gallifreyan construct, she and Rory appeared. Now it was Earth that was the dream and Gallifrey real. The world had substance. They could walk and talk and breathe and Amy felt as real as she ever had. She looked around at the view outside the dome. "This is Gallifrey?"

"It is," the Doctor agreed, knowing what she was thinking. "They called it the Shining World of the Seventh System."

"It's beautiful and I know it shouldn't matter but I feel even sadder that it's gone."

"Not completely," the Doctor tapped his own head. "It's all up here … and just for today, out here for you to share."

"I'm glad I got to see it, just once," Amy said softly.

"What now?" Rory asked, tearing his eyes away from the view.

"Now River and I make a lot of grand statements and promises, none of which you'll understand. The sun sets and this world fades away and it's all back to business as usual."

"Okay, sounds good," Rory smiled. "When you're ready."

"Whose idea was it to invite him?" the Doctor muttered.

River laughed. "Patience my love."

"You and I both know that's not my strong suit," he admitted.

"Then begin," she invited.

He took her hands again, placing one flat against his chest. Since the world was essentially virtual he was able to manipulate the things around them. He conjured a long strip of silky cloth in traditional crimson and orange, wrapping one end around his hand while River did the same with the other end, the two meeting in the middle until their hands just touched.

It was Gallifreyan and so lost a lot in the translation but the closest interpretation of what was said through the symbolics of the language was something like this.

_Hearts. Unison. Completion._

His hears would only beat to their fullest with her beside him. They were complete when they operated as one combined unit.

He shifted River's hand to cup his cheek.

_Skin. Surface. Unimportant._

Regeneration might change his appearance but it wouldn't change him. The physical body was just the surface to the unchanging core.

He shifted her hand again, until it rested against his forehead.

_Mind. Identity. Memory. Truth._

His memory would hold the truth of their partnership. Their commitment. Regeneration was a kind of death – his identity might shift, the outward aspects of his personality change, but he would still love her and she would promise to allow him the chance to retain her love in return.

He lifted her hand to his lips, wafting his breath over her skin.

_Self. Life. Future._

That one was easy to translate. He would share his essence with her and combine it with her own if that was her wish, to create life and a future. It was a big step for the Doctor and one he didn't want to dwell on too deeply. Those memories had to be honoured too but later, when it was appropriate to acknowledge what he'd lost just as he would what he had gained.

He put her hand over their joined ones, resting his other hand on top.

_Family. Respect. Priority._

She would be his family from that point onwards. She would be first with him, before all others. Her welfare and her safety would guide his actions.

The five points of the ceremony were complete. The Doctor stepped back, resting his free hand loosely at his side. It was River's turn.

She repeated the steps as he had, without hesitation. When she finished the last he shifted to step back again but she held on, taking his hand and placing it over her eyes.

_Forever._

She would gaze into the Untempered Schism – the gap in the fabric of reality – with him, face down time itself, to be his through all of time and space. It was a part of the old traditional ceremony but little utilised because to do so in reality was to lock out the possibility of ever connecting with anyone else. For a race as long lived as the Time Lords that was a monumental commitment. No matter what happened to him River would never be able to marry anyone else, not in the ways of Gallifrey. Maybe it could be perceived as an empty promise because the Untempered Schism was gone and because they were the last people who could be bound by the rituals of a lost planet, but the Doctor didn't see it that way.

He froze for a moment, his eyes locked with Rivers. "Are you sure?" he asked aloud, the only words he'd spoken that Amy and Rory could understand.

"Very," River replied with simple earnestness.

"Okay." The Doctor took a deep breath and then lifted her hand, placing it over his eyes.

_Forever._

He would never make the same commitment to anyone again, no matter how long he lived. It should have scared him but it didn't, because it suited him to have the same promise from her.

She smiled even as tears shimmered in her eyes.

"Don't cry," he pleaded, his own eyes feeling suspiciously moist.

"Is that it?" Amy asked, looking more than a little teary herself. Clearly some of the meaning had been conveyed in their actions, even though the words had been incomprehensible.

"Almost," the Doctor glanced up at the sky, where the sun now sat low. "Now we do what will look to you like a lot of sappy eye gazing … it's not of course," he added before River could get grumpy with him.

He unwrapped the cord around his hand while she did the same. They reclasped hands again, interlocking each so that they formed an unbreakable, four handed combination.

"Rory, we're going to need you to take the fabric and wrap it around our hands, six times only," the Doctor instructed.

Rory did as he was asked, carefully wrapping the crimson and orange fabric the required number of times until the two ends hung just below the Doctor and River's wrists. "Thank you," the Doctor said when he was done. Nodding, Rory stepped back to stand beside Amy again.

It did look like River and the Doctor both stood unmoving, unblinking, staring into the depths of the others eyes. That's because it wasn't a physical thing, even with what passed for physical in the construct they had created together.

River dropped her mental shields, showing him the life she'd led to get her to that point. Born and stolen as a babe on Demon's Run. Taken to Florida in the late 1960's and raised to kill him, until, still a child, she'd escaped and sometime later regenerated back into a toddler, in New York. That toddler had become Mels, the childhood friend of Amy Pond, and grown up in Leadworth. Then came Berlin and the turning point, for both of them. The psychopath programming had kicked in when she'd regenerated and she'd poisoned him, so easily that it still embarrassed him to see it again through her mind's eye. He could see that the memory was there but not really hers. She really hadn't known what she was doing, had hardly remembered it moments later when she'd run off. Her first contact with the Doctor had been mission accomplished, nothing more. 

He saw how it was when he'd left her in the 52nd century, given her the freedom to find her way to the River Song he knew. He saw her solitary studies and how everything she did from that point on was designed to bring her back to him. And he saw how hard she fought when they'd come for her. He felt her strength and he understood with the utmost clarity how wrong Madam Kovarian has been. River hadn't been created and raised to be the woman who killed him. She'd been created to be the one to save him, to love him in the fullest sense, without blinkers to his faults and without undue regard to his talents. She was a gift, one he didn't feel he'd earned but had no intention of refusing.

In return, the Doctor let her see it all … every life he'd lived, his past loves, his losses, his crimes and his triumphs. His family. His memories. His actions to end the Time War and how much he'd sacrificed. His conflict to understand what she was, to put aside the pain of the past that stopped him from accepting her. And as the sun touched the horizon, when the leaves of the silver trees flamed white, he gave her a gift in return. His true name, freely shared but bound inextricably within the foundations of the ceremony. An instance in time locked tight and only available to River alone.

She smiled, her delight obvious. He smiled back. "There you go River Song. This time you really are the woman who married the Doctor."

"And you're the man who married Melody Pond," she returned.

"That I am," he agreed, grinning. "That I am."

The light from the setting sun faded and darkness fell, bringing within the overwhelming urge to close their eyes. When they opened them they were back in Amy's childhood back yard.

"I have no idea what was said but that was still beautiful," Amy admitted.

"It's hard to translate," River looked down and at once everyone saw that the crimson and orange cloth was still wrapped around their joined hands, as it had been in the constructed world.

"Amy, can you unwrap us, carefully," the Doctor requested, "folding the same six folds as you go. When you're done, hand it to River."

Amy complied, giving River the neatly folded fabric when she was done. "Can you at least tell me what that was about?"

"The six folds represent the six elements of the promise River and I made to each other," the Doctor explained. "The colours in the cloth represent the Prydonians."

"His chapter of the Time Lords," River added.

"Ooh, like a tartan," Amy said excitedly. Being Scottish herself the idea of that small similarity in a ceremony she hadn't understood delighted her.

"Aside from it being a clan of choice rather than of birth, yes, very much so," River agreed. "It's now my job to preserve the fabric and to add to it should we have children in the future."

"Ooh," Amy cried again, clutching River's hands. With a laugh River hugged her mother. "Congratulations," Amy whispered.

Moving on to the Doctor she repeated the ritual while Rory hugged their daughter.

"That's it – it's done," the Doctor finally announced.

"And about time too," River teased. 'You do know how to make a girl wait, don't you?"

"Not any more," he reminded her, his eyes promising her all manner of delights. River blushed and the Doctor laughed, for once the person with the upper hand in their relationship.

"We get a party now though, right?" Rory asked hopefully. "At the very least a few drinks down the pub."

The Doctor glanced at River. " _What do you think?_ " he asked silently.

"That sounds perfect," River smiled.

"It was a very strange ceremony," Amy commented as they walked back to the TARDIS.

"You really didn't think I'd go for something normal, did you?" River asked gently. "I don't do weddings, remember?"

"That was Mels, who by the way always said one day she'd marry the Doctor," Amy retorted.

"That's true, I did say that," River smiled at the Doctor.

"And as I recall we struck a bargain on the matter, but only if you lived," the Doctor remembered the day well … especially the moment when, beyond incredulity, he sensed her coming regeneration. "Regenerating was as good as cheating though so I decided I didn't really need to live up to that particular agreement."

"But you did," Amy pointed out. "Oh, you know what that means, don't you? You're breaking Rule Number 1!"

She was right - this time the Doctor hadn't lied. "Don't get used to it," he warned, only half teasing.


	18. Arranging the End

So there it was. River Song and the Doctor were finally married. In hindsight the Doctor wasn't sure why he'd thought it would all be smooth sailing after that. After drinks at a lovely public house in seventeenth century London they'd returned to the TARDIS, he assuming so that they could drop off River's parents and then finally enjoy the wedding night she'd been teasing him with for years. 

Instead she'd gone very quiet shortly before announcing the instance they touched down outside Amy and Rory's house that there was something she had to do. The Doctor had been speechless as he'd watched her strap the vortex manipulator to her wrist and then bid her parents farewell. She'd had the audacity to blow him a kiss before activating the device.

He hated the vortex manipulator with a passion that surprised him. She'd disappeared in a flash and he'd been unable to follow her.

"Wedding night jitters," he'd joked to Amy and Rory before urging them to go home, promising he'd bring River for a visit once they'd managed a honeymoon.

He'd found River of course, at home and pretending she'd never run from him. He'd let it go then because for her they still had Darillium and the Library to go and he already knew how those turned out. She left him in the TARDIS after events in The Library just like she always did. River seemed intent on continuing their separate lifestyles, despite their new marital status.

She's always been more content than he with the nature of their relationship, perhaps because when they'd met she'd had all the knowledge while he'd known nothing. It had all been so easy for her. All the 'sweetie's and 'my love's and the flirting and innuendo – it just rolled off her tongue with so much ease that he hadn't looked any deeper. Hadn't seen that it was all flash and no substance – all false bravado.

He'd once doubted that any of it was real, assuming instead that it was all part of the bigger game they played, with each other and with the Silence. She'd jokingly said it to Madam Kovarian - who else was she going to fall in love with? The chances that she'd fallen for real were so small it had taken him too long to understand that she meant every word.

What had taken even longer was him seeing that loving anyone, let alone the Doctor, _wasn't_ easy for her. She'd been snatched away as a baby and too many of her most formative years had been conducted under the thumb of Madam Kovarian. River hadn't known love – how to dish it out and how to receive it; how to count on it being there, no matter what. She trusted him to be there when she needed him, but apparently only if that need was capped. A day or two, a week at the most. After that she grew impatient to leave, presumably because deep down she believed if she stayed any longer he would see 'the real her' and consequently abandon her, just like everybody else had. He'd asked her to stay many times of course … maybe she just hadn't heard what he was really asking.

That was all about to change – and right soon. If he let her re-establish their old pattern they'd be back to square one and he was having none of that.

"This time you _have_ to take me where and when I ask," he told the TARDIS intently. "No more listening to River. You _know_ controlling things for her isn't what she needs, not any more." Because of course that's how River had achieved it all, subconsciously or otherwise. Her need to be the one with the upper hand had been so great she'd tapped into the time vortex through her connection to his TARDIS. Every screwed up inch of their clashing timelines had been her doing. There was no other explanation.

The TARDIS hummed and pulsed as he locked in the settings. He took a deep breath before pulling down firmly on the last lever. When they came to a stop the TARDIS pre-empted him, displaying the current date and time for his perusal.

"Thank you," he laid a grateful hand on her console. "Don't worry – I'll bring her back to stay this time."

He left the TARDIS with a confident stride, opening River's front door rather than knocking as he usually did. It was his first visit post marriage and a husband shouldn't have to knock. "Honey, I'm home," he called.

"Doctor," she looked startled at his unexpected visit but she recovered quickly. "What a lovely surprise."

"It is, isn't it?" He grinned. "And you haven't even heard what I'm here for yet."

"What _are_ you here for?" she asked. "Not that I'm not glad to see you of course."

"Of course," he agreed lightly. Moving around the room he picked up the odd item, looked at it quizzically before returning it to its customary position. "How much do you like all these knick knacks?" he asked abruptly.

"I've been collecting them for many years, so quite a bit," she frowned. "I'm sure you didn't come here to talk about my artefacts."

"On the contrary, I can think of only a couple of things I'd rather talk about more than your artefacts," he replied.

"Ooh, do tell," she slipped into seductive mode without blinking an eye. It looked on the surface like an invitation in but had always been a very clever wall put up to stop him from looking too close.

"That would be one of them," he said easily. "You being all 'come and get me' and then skipping out on our wedding night is certainly a topic of considerable interest to me."

"Well, if that's what you're after, my afternoon just got cancelled," she smiled, giving him her come hither look. "I'm all yours."

"Not yet, but you will be," he promised. "As I said, that's one of the topics we will be talking about, but it's not my top priority."

"It isn't?" River teased. "I'm crushed Doctor."

"No you're not," he retorted. "What you are is afraid. So, back to these artefacts," he continued before she could deny it. "How long will it take you to pack them all up? Too long probably. Silly question really - let's just get someone in to do it for us. They can box it all up and leave it in storage until we can come back and pick it up."

"Storage?" River blinked. "What in God's name are you talking about?"

"Oh, didn't I say?" he smiled. "I guess I thought it would be obvious. Usually I don't make the time to bring a whole bunch of stuff to the TARDIS when someone moves in but then, you're not just a companion. You're my wife. I want you to have your things close by."

"They _are_ close by," she pointed out.

"Well sure, if you were living here," he agreed, taking a few steps forward until they stood only an arm's length away.

"I _am_ living here," she reminded him.

"Only because you think it's necessary, but it isn't," he reached out and touched her cheek, encouraged when she leaned into him instinctively. "You see, I've found a way to stop this," he gestured between them.

"You just don't get it, do you?" River cried. "I don't _want_ to stop this."

"You're happy skipping backwards and forwards in time, never knowing which version of me you're going to get? Snatching a day here and there?"

She looked up at him, but for once it seemed she didn't have anything to say.

"Come on River, it's not a hard question. Are you happy with our current arrangement? Yes or no?"

"When you're being like this, very much so!" she said sarcastically. "What does it matter? We don't have a choice."

"There's always a choice. There always has been. Come on, admit it for once. Be the grown up mature one you always pretend to be."

"Oh shut up," River glared at him.

"I could shut up I suppose but then I wouldn't get to tell you my plan," he rocked back and forth on his toes, like a child at a candy store window. "It's brilliant. Do you want to hear it? Come on, say you do," he cajoled. "Although, strictly speaking it's not really a plan anymore since most of it is already complete."

"The Doctor has a plan," she muttered. "Fine, I'm all ears. Thrill me with your brilliance."

"There are so many places I could take that, I feel suddenly giddy," he let himself get distracted by the thought for a moment before blinking. "No, not this time. Back to the plan, although frankly I'm a little surprised I have to explain it to you. You died River, at The Library. _I_ died, at Lake Silencio. Everything that was ever supposed to happen between us – in your timeline and in mine; every written page, happened _before_ those days. Only you didn't die at The Library, just like I didn't die in Utah. I rewrote time for you – twice. Surely you understand what that means."

"Blank pages in our diaries," she murmured.

"No, well yes, but _no_ , very much no!" he almost shouted. "No more diaries, ever! I'm declaring a ban on them, in fact on any books with blue covers and blank pages. We don't need them anymore River. If you move into the TARDIS with me we can be in sync from now on. No more backwards forwards mess."

She smiled sadly. "For how long?" she asked.

He nodded, not surprised she'd ask. "Your vortex manipulator," he said. "Where is it?"

She didn't answer but her eyes betrayed her, darting to the wall to his right before returning to watch him.

"Ah," he nodded, moving swiftly around her before she could stop him. He used his sonic screwdriver to open the safe, reaching inside and pulling out the small wrist device that had been the bane of his existence for far too long.

He didn't hesitate, just activated the sonic screwdriver without a word about his intentions. Sparks flew and the components smoked – within a second it was already too late. He'd rendered the thing useless. Even he wouldn't be able to repair it. River was stuck in the here and now unless he chose to make it otherwise.

"You!" River glared at him, appalled. "I can't believe you did that!"

"Then you haven't been listening," he said grimly, the mask of casualness falling away. He threw the destroyed device to the floor, stepping over it until he was right up inside her personal space. "Maybe I let you drop in and out whenever you pleased in the past, but not anymore. You're my _wife_ River. You belong with me. All the time, not just when it's convenient for you."

"Marriage doesn't give you the right to dictate to me," she held herself stiffly, her irritation obvious.

"No, and it doesn't give you the right to use me either," he said quietly. "I'm not a tool you can trot out when you want to impress someone and then shove back into the closet when you're done."

"I don't treat you like that!" she protested.

" _Yes_ , you do," he insisted. "Think about it River. How much time have you really spent with me that wasn't about _your_ adventure, _your_ treasure hunt, _your_ need to be rescued."

"I didn't realise I was such a bother to you," she turned away.

" _Arg_ ," he growled. "You are the most infuriating woman! Why will you not listen to what I'm trying to tell you?! I married you River – _you_ , and no one else – and yet you still don't believe I want you with me? How is that possible?"

"I don't know!" River shouted. "I want to stay but something always calls me away. I can't help myself. I know it's unfair to you, I do, and it makes me miserable but the urge to leave hits me and I can't resist it."

"Wait, what did you say?" the Doctor's eyes narrowed abruptly.

"I can't resist it?" River repeated uncertainly.

"Exactly," the Doctor approached, pointing his screwdriver at her. He scanned her up and down, flipping the device so he could see the read out. He switched to the red settings, scanning her again. This time the readings gave him cause to react. "Oh, why didn't I see this before?! Stupid, _stupid_ Doctor!"

"What is it?" River demanded.

"Madam Kovarian's last little joke on us," he revealed, well past irritated and on his way to all out angry. "You’re a mass of contradictions River, and I should have realised long ago but she counted on my reluctance to truly get involved and yes, my natural reticence in the face of a woman like you – all allure and confidence and with too much knowledge about me. You blindsided me, just like she planned. Damn her for being right! I just might have to make a little trip to the past and teach that woman a lesson."

"If you don't tell me what's going on right now you won't be in any condition to go anywhere," River threatened.

"Right, sorry," he pushed back his anger and regarded her steadily. "She programmed you to be the means to my death River. She knew you'd be fascinated by the mystery I presented and she couldn't afford for you to take matters into your own hands before she got what she wanted from you. She made sure of it, at a subconscious level. It was always you choosing when we'd meet but you didn't do it freely. She made your need to leave stronger than your desire to stay with me. She made you screw with our timeline deliberately, to ensure we’d never be able to collaborate against her."

River shifted around him and kicked the vortex manipulator angrily. "You had to go and destroy it," she shouted, turning on him with every intention of hitting him. He caught her arm before she could, pulling her into him until they were chest to chest.

"Believe me, I want to find her just as much as you do," he said intently. "I'd like nothing better than to make her pay for everything she did to you."

"Then why wait? Let's go right now," River proposed.

"Because I want you restored to what you should be more." He touched a hand to her face so gently it brought tears to her eyes. "I'll take you back to the Sisters – they'll take away the last of Kovarian's programming. Give you back your free will – _all_ of it. Then we'll think about revenge, okay?"

"Revenge?" River smiled suddenly. "The Doctor doesn't do revenge."

"No he doesn't," the Doctor agreed, "but you always have been my exception River Song … Melody Pond. The Doctor's wife. _My_ wife."

She took a deep breath, and then she looked up at him. "Hire someone to pack up the house – I want all my things moved in with you by the time I get out of hospital. And if they break anything I'm taking it out of your hide."

"I'd expect no less."

Putting his arm around her the Doctor escorted her to the TARDIS and from there to the Sisters of the Infinite Schism. They assured him they'd be able to help River but still he paced impatiently for the hours it took for them to complete the procedure.

"It is done," the head nurse informed him. "River is purged of all suggestive programming, on both the conscious and subconscious levels. It was very cleverly done Doctor … very subtle. It is a miracle you detected the problem."

"Upgrades," he murmured, patting his top pocket where his sonic screwdriver sat. "So she'll be okay now?"

"Yes, very much so," the nurse replied. "We took the liberty of providing your wife with additional mental barriers to ensure she will never be vulnerable to the same attacks again."

"I'm grateful," he looked down the corridor to where he knew River was resting. "When can I take her home?"

"She needs to rest undisturbed. Twenty four hours minimum. You may return then."

"Thank you," he took the nurse's hands gratefully. "Honestly, you have no idea what this means to us, to me."

"We are glad to be of service."

* * *

Once he knew River was going to be okay, the Doctor went about arranging everything so it would be as she wanted when she was released. He had as much time as he needed to get it done and the TARDIS helped, providing a new area just for River to display her collection. When they were done he had to admit it all looked fairly impressive, not that he'd ever admit to any kind of regard for archaeologists. River was his exception there too.

He was like a boy at Christmas when he returned to the Sister's, eager to reveal his surprise.

"Hello sweetie," she greeted him with a teasing smile.

"Hello honey," he cruised over to her bed, leaning down to kiss her quickly before straightening and glancing around. "Time to go?"

"Oh, definitely," she agreed, throwing back the covers and swinging her legs to the ground. She was already dressed – she'd just been waiting for his return.

"I suppose I should have asked you how you feel?" he admitted, watching her closely. She looked fine … better than fine. It was only that he hadn't noticed there was something wrong in the first place that had him unable to trust his eyes now.

"I'm fine," she assured him. "I want to go back to the TARDIS with you. Let's see how I am once we get there."

"Okay," he smiled, offering her his arm.

He felt almost nervous escorting her inside the TARDIS. She stopped, standing perfectly still, concentrating intently. "No urge to run away," she smiled to let him know she was teasing. "So far, so good."

"Excellent," he clasped his hands together repeatedly, almost bouncing with excitement. "I have something to show you."

"Really?" she eyed him suggestively.

"Not that!" he flushed. "Later. No, this is something else … come and see." He was quiet as he led her through the corridors and to the new room. It was excruciating to wait silently while she took everything in, strolling around, touching things fondly.

When she was done she returned to him and wordlessly threw her arms around him. "I love you," she declared.

"Good to know," he murmured, hugging her back strongly. He'd have to keep an eye on her but it seemed like they'd finally escaped the black mark the Silence had painted on both of them. "Any particular reason?"

"You have a museum inside the TARDIS," she murmured, so touched she was crying. This time he didn't mind because he knew it meant she was happy.

"It's all right?" he asked, glancing around again uncertainly.

"It's perfect," she assured him. "It's all perfect. You know what this means, don't you?"

"What?"

"You're stuck with me now."

"Then here's to perfection," he replied, leaning down to kiss her.


	19. When you run with the Doctor

River song opened her diary and turned to the last blank page. The blue book was precious to her. It held the memories closest to her heart but more than that, it was a story about a girl who needed to be saved and the man who saved her.

" _When you run with the Doctor, it feels like the end runs with you,_ " she wrote. " _In his words it's all running about, sexy fish vampires and blowing up stuff._ "

She chuckled. They'd certainly done more than their fair share of all three.

" _In those times it's easy to feel that the ending is a constant companion, shouting at you to live in the moment, to never take anything for granted. If the Doctor ever behaved as though he believed differently the very skies would fall down around us, so great would be the shock._ "

Her husband wasn't known for being serious, just the opposite. He might be eleven hundred and three but he acted like a child half the time and he got excited at the most ridiculous things. Dinosaurs in space. Alien vampires. Intelligent goo. They were all like gifts he gleefully accepted. It was both a puzzle and a part of his charm that he could be so old and yet still be capable of seeing the wonder in the most simple of things.

" _Sometimes it's not about endings. It's about beginnings, and middles. It's about Sunday's and Tuesday's and Thursday afternoons when nothing happens and that's perfectly okay. On those days the end is nothing more than a distant mountain on a far horizon. You know you'll have to climb to the top one day but not today. Not tomorrow. Not so many days to come that it seems like you have forever to enjoy what life has given you._ "

"Didn't I ban that?" the Doctor leaned down over her shoulder, resting his chin against her.

"You did," River agreed, "but every good book deserves an epilogue."

"Am I in it?"

"You _make_ it," she promised.

"Cool," he pressed a kiss to her neck and the shifted away. "I suppose I should let you finish then."

"Tell me what you wanted to tell me first," she invited, knowing how hard it was for him to keep any new discovery to himself.

"It's nothing really," he began. "Just the birth of an entirely new species … they're so tiny they're the size the fleas on a canine's fleas would be – divided by about a million. Tiny … but intelligent. One day they'll solve a problem that's plagued the universe for a billion years. Isn't that brilliant?"

"It is," she agreed. "And I suppose you want to go and witness them arriving."

"It does sound like a honeymoonish thing to do," he offered, giving her a shy smile. He'd really taken to the idea of a honeymoon tour in the TARDIS, and along the way proven that he did know how to travel without finding trouble wherever he went. They'd gone to many of his favourite places and a few of hers as well. They'd even taken a trip to Earth - to spread the romance he'd said. Specifically the future romance of Donna Noble and her imagined husband Lee McAvoy. It had all been cloak and dagger, smoke and mirrors getting Lee (who it turned out did in fact exist) to London and within Donna's sphere of attention but eventually the two met. It was early days but the Doctor seemed content that they enjoyed the same kind of connection they'd shared in Charlotte Lux's world. He'd made a promise to himself when he'd been planning her rescue, and it pleased River greatly to have helped him keep it.

"Tiny, tiny beings," the Doctor repeated. "What do you think?"

"That we should definitely go," she agreed. "I'll just be a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay, see you up there," he squeezed her shoulder before dashing away to put in the new coordinates.

" _In the past, travelling with the Doctor was a unique form of loneliness. Extreme happiness and crushing disappointment. The knowledge that you could be so, so special and yet not enough to bridge the distance between what was lost and what could be found. No longer, and never again. One chance in a trillion, when it seems the smallest odds of all, you witness a miracle … and everything aligns._ "


	20. Epilogue

He’d been right. The arrival of the Parvulus – tiny, tiny beings they’d needed special glasses to see – had been as amazing as he’d promised. River smiled the entire time they were there, her expression delighted as they’d watched the emergence from the trees of Parvula – fluffy little critters with big eyes and even bigger hearts. If not for the unique alignment of planets in their solar system magnifying the sunlight and striking the tree trunks at the right angle and with enough heat to burn through the bark, they’d never have come into being.

It was a thing of pure beauty and he should know. The Doctor had a new appreciation for alignment now that he and River were finally living their lives in the same direction, time wise.

“Ouch,” he put a hand to his chest abruptly, wincing.

“What is it dear?” River asked, looking up from the book she’d been reading. He liked to tinker at the central controls and she’d taken to sitting on one of the console chairs when he was there. He wasn’t ashamed to admit how much he liked the company … _her_ company.

“Message,” he said, pulling out the psychic paper billfold and flipping it open.

“ _Help! Come home right now!!_ ” It wasn’t signed but it didn’t need to be – he’d know immediately any message originating from Amy Pond.

“Oh, that doesn’t sound good,” River frowned, leaning against his arm to read along with him.

“No it doesn’t,” he agreed, pausing for a moment to pat her hand before he dashed away to the console, already programming in their new destination. “Don’t worry wife,” he announced. “We’ll have you home in a jiffy.”

“A jiffy?” River smiled, amused. She didn’t follow after him, correcting what she called his piloting mistakes and he called making it interesting – they’d agreed when she’d moved in that they’d each fly the TARDIS their own way. Well, he’d insisted that he would fly most of the time and she’d agreed, except for when it was imperative that they arrive somewhere without drawing attention to themselves. He’d reluctantly agreed, only because how often were they likely to need that? After all, he’d only used the cloak twice in over a thousand years.

“Yeah, that was rubbish, wasn’t it?” the Doctor agreed. “No place for the word ‘jiffy’ in anyone’s language.” He reached for another lever, intend on their landing.

“Best leave the breaks off dear,” River suggested gently.

He grimaced but acknowledged that she was probably right. Whatever trouble Amy and Rory had gotten themselves into, he’d have a better chance of resolving if he didn’t announce his presence before they’d gotten the lay of the land.

The TARDIS touched down and all pretence at humour dropped away. Grabbing River’s hand and making sure she was protected behind him, the Doctor hurried for the door, throwing it open fully expecting to see a full scale invasion of Cybermen in Amy and Rory’s back yard. Instead the yard was deserted and too quiet. Wary and suspicious, the Doctor carefully made his way to the back door, easing it open slowly and quietly.

“Surprise!!”

The Doctor froze to an abrupt halt, River crashing into his back at the lack of warning, sending him stumbling a few steps forward into Amy and Rory’s kitchen before he regained his balance.

“Sweetie?” River shifted to glance around him. There, gathered in a semi-circle surrounding the entrance were not only her parents and assorted family members, but two recognisable faces as well - Donna Noble and her alien boyfriend Lee McAvoy – although how that was even possible without risking Donna’s memory returning was a question the Doctor would be asking Amy very pointedly in the very near future.

“Amy, Rory?” For the sake of saving on the unexplainable, River never called her parents Mum and Dad unless they were alone. There was no way to create a cover story for the two twenty something’s having a daughter who looked at least a decade older than them.

“You promised me a traditional wedding,” Amy announced without a hint of apology for getting them there under false pretences. “You’ve been honeymooning for months without a sign of stopping by. You left me no choice.”

“I tried to stop her,” Rory began but then shrugged. “Not very hard,” he admitted.

For once the Doctor was completely and utterly speechless. He could see the amused smile River was holding back but even that wasn’t enough to spur him into speech.

“So this is a …,” River began.

“Your wedding, yeah,” Amy confirmed nonchalantly.

“Why am I not surprised?” River murmured close to the Doctor’s ear.

“Because you inherited your deviousness from your Mother,” he muttered back, finally finding his voice.

River laughed. “You wouldn’t have me any other way my love.”

“Probably not,” he agreed with a smile. Turning to Amy he gave her an enigmatic look, spoiling it by grinning when she narrowed her eyes back at him. “Come here Pond,” he demanded opening up his arms.

With a laugh, Amy launched herself forward, hugging the Doctor tightly.

That seemed to be the cue for the people around them, the low murmur of party conversation resuming as everyone gave the friends a chance to talk without an audience making them the centre of attention.

When Amy let him go, quickly shifting to her daughter, Rory stepped up, offering his hand to the Doctor.

“Rory,” the Doctor shook hands and then pulled the other man closer for a manly back slapping exchange. “How have you been?”

“Good,” Rory shrugged, glancing at his wife and seeing her fully engaged in chatting with River. “I didn’t try very hard to dissuade her from this,” he said in a low voice. “She needed something.”

“How long have we been gone this time?” the Doctor queried.

“Three months,” Rory said without judgement.

“Oh,” the Doctor scratched at his cheek. “That’s longer than I intended to keep River away,” he admitted.

“We get it,” Rory replied easily. “It’s not an exact science.”

“No, it’s not,” the Doctor acknowledged. With a sigh he gave Rory an embarrassed smile. “Perhaps I’ve been just a bit enamoured of having River with me as well. I’m sorry for that – it’s right selfish of me, isn’t it?”

“Just a bit,” Rory smiled, “but understandable. I can’t imagine how frustrating it would have been to be always moving in the opposite direction.”

“It served a purpose,” the Doctor admitted.

“You don’t think you’d be here now if it hadn’t gone down that way?” Rory asked, surprised.

“A thousand years by myself,” the Doctor shook his head. “I was very good at protecting my heart Rory. I couldn’t conceive of any set of circumstances that would make me take that kind of risk. River … she’s one in a – I’d say infinity but that’d be impossible. One in the biggest number you can think of that isn’t infinity.”

“River is definitely that,” Rory looked at his daughter, a hint of sadness showing in his expression.

“And there I go, being selfish again,” the Doctor sighed. “Even knowing what I know now I hope you understand that if there had been a way to return her to you and Amy as a baby, I’d have done so.”

“We know,” Rory said simply. “Without you … without the TARDIS, I’m not sure we’d have had River at all. Don’t worry, we’ll make the most of it. You should talk to Amy though. She misses you.”

“I will,” the Doctor promised.

“You’ll have to go through the ceremony first,” Rory added, his amusement showing when the Doctor’s expression fell.

“Ceremony?” he grimaced.

“You _have_ been married here before, right?”

The Doctor looked pained, his eyes darting away as though seeking help.

“Rule number one,” River threaded her arm through her husband’s, smiling at her father as her mother took up her usual position beside him.

“You mean you _lied_?” Rory looked incredulously from his daughter back to his friend while Amy hooted with laughter beside him.

“Of course I lied! I’m surprised you’d think otherwise. I could hardly have a gang of Doctor’s wives running around the planet, now could I? There were a few times when it was a very close thing but I usually managed to slide out of trouble before actually going through with the ceremony,” the Doctor admitted.

“So this will be your first Earth wedding?” Amy was almost crowing with delight at the news.

“As a matter of fact, it will, Miss Smug pants,” the Doctor shot back, disgruntled.

“Then there’s no time to waste.” She ran her eyes over each of them for a second, gave a sigh and muttered “can’t be helped,” before spinning away. Clapping her hands, Amy got everyone’s attention. “Melody and John will have plenty of time to talk with everyone later but for now, its wedding time!”

“Melody and John?” the Doctor repeated under his breath.

“It’s expedient,” River replied.

There were a few cheers and some spontaneous applause as Rory and Amy corralled everyone into the living room. They’d set up enough chairs for everyone to sit and at the front, beside the fireplace, waited a woman who could only be the celebrant.

“Are you sure we have to do this?” the Doctor muttered to River, the plea in his voice too obvious.

“Don’t you want to marry me?” River teased quietly.

“Did you miss the part where I already did?” the Doctor shot back. “If I’m not mistaken I promised I’d never marry anyone else, ever again, until the end of time. Since you know I’ve been there you should appreciate how significant that is. Strictly speaking, going through with this could be seen as a breach of that promise.”

“Nice try but since the promise was to me I think we’re safe,” River chuckled. “Now, I’m no more enthusiastic about this than you are but it’s important to Amy so we’re doing it.”

“Wait, you don’t want to marry me?” the Doctor stopped, giving her an incredulous look.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I don’t do weddings dear,” River reminded him.

“Oh,” the Doctor shifted awkwardly, surprised that her words actually bothered him.

“Is there a problem here?” Amy moved towards them, frowning at the delay.

“I just need a moment with my wife,” the Doctor grabbed River’s hand and dragged her back to the kitchen, ignoring all the looks they were getting.

“I’m confused,” he admitted as soon as they were alone. “If you don’t do weddings, why did you marry me?”

“You’re asking me this _now_?” River looked at him, incredulous.

“ _I know_ ,” he agreed. “It didn’t occur to me to ask before because I assumed, stupidly as it turns out, that you _wanted_ to marry me. Please tell me you didn’t do all of that because of some silly legend you read in one of your archaeology books!”

River laughed, the deep, full bodied one that never failed to raise his blood pressure in all sorts of interesting ways. “Oh Doctor,” she sighed, shifting closer and running her hands up his chest. “Should we debate which came first – the chicken or the egg? Personally, I can think of something much more entertaining to do, now that we’re all alone.” Pulling him closer she pressed her lips to his, her intent to get him hot and bothered and therefore not thinking straight all too clear.

“ _River_ ,” he broke away after a few pleasurable moments. “Please, just answer the question.”

“You already know the answer Sweetie,” she told him softly. “Now, since you’re not interested in snogging me here I suggest we get this over with.” Grabbing his hand she led him gently but firmly back to the living room.

The Doctor frowned, not sure what had just happened. He already knew the answer. As he stood and listened to a perfect stranger talk about commitment and love and family values – things the Doctor had experienced with the woman beside him in ways no one in the room could possibly understand – the truth came to him in a blinding flash. He _did_ know the answer.

River didn’t want to be in a wedding with him but she _did_ want to be married to him. The wedding was just the surface – the wrapping. The real gift was their partnership, for which they were both more than willing participants. He grinned, very pleased with himself for working it out on his own.

“I get it,” he shifted closer to whisper in her ear, ignoring the celebrant entirely.

“Very good dear,” she whispered back. “Try not to be so dense in the future.”

“I’ll -, he began, stopping when the celebrant cleared her throat pointedly. “Sorry,” he muttered, taking a deep breath and trying to focus on what she was saying. He didn’t mind some of it – the words they had to repeat to each other were on the sappy side and clichéd as hell and not how he’d have put it, but the sentiment was kind of nice. The signing had been interesting, the two names feeling disconnected from their true selves. Here, he was John Smith and she was Melody Pond. Since neither of them had been born on Earth, and neither of them had a birth certificate, two things Amy and Rory would have been well aware of when they were organising everything, the Doctor could only conclude that it didn’t matter.

When he and River were declared husband and wife and he was given permission to kiss her – as if he ever needed permission to kiss River Song! - he couldn’t deny the little thrill he felt.

“Mrs Doctor,” he greeted her in a low tone, bending to kiss her again.

“Mr Song,” she smiled back.

“That wasn’t so bad,” he murmured as they turned to face their audience for the requisite applause. “Some of it was even appealing.”

“Appealing?” River repeated, eyeing him curiously.

“You’re mine River Song, by Gallifreyan custom and now, by Earth law as well,” he pointed out smugly. “Call me possessive but I’m suddenly thinking about how many other ways there are for me to claim you. Did I ever tell you about Riven Five? They take life partners at a specific age and then never again. If one partner is killed the other dies as well – no choice, it’s a biological thing. Their ceremony lasts for two days but I hear it’s rather enjoyable.” He turned to his wife with a teasing smile. “What do you say? Want to tie the knot Riven Five style?”

“I hate you,” she muttered crossly.

“No you don’t,” he returned fondly, unable to resist pulling her in for just one more kiss.

* * *

“So, this is your wife then?”

The Doctor looked up from the couch he’d dragged River to as soon as they could break away from her family to see Donna Noble, with Lee standing shyly beside her. 

“Yes,” he reached for River’s hand, grabbing her attention. “Melody, this is Donna Noble, and?” he waited to be introduced to the man he’d never met but knew very well from all the things Donna had told him. Well, told his tenth incarnation but that was practically the same thing.

“Oh,” Donna blushed. “This is Lee McAvoy, my fiancée,” she shifted her hand just so on Lee’s arm so the diamond she was sporting gleamed.

“Look what going just around the corner brought you,” the Doctor teased, smiling, delighted that his and River’s efforts had been so successful. Of course it wasn’t really down to them. Lee had been more than willing to be reunited with Donna when River went to meet him on his home planet. He’d understood the risks to Donna if he ever revealed that pretend life they’d shared or anything about River or the TARDIS or time travel. Although it meant a life of lying to her, he knew it was to save her life and he clearly loved her enough to sacrifice everything from his old life to be with her.

“I know, crazy isn’t it,” Donna retorted with a laugh.

“It’s nice to meet you,” the Doctor offered Lee a hand, shaking it firmly. “Congratulations on your good sense.”

“Th-thank you,” Lee said, barely stuttering. Donna smiled proudly before turning back to the Doctor.

“There’s one thing I don’t get,” she said. “This is your wedding, yeah, but we met over a year ago.”

“And I told you I was looking for something for my wife,” he finished.

Donna nodded. “That was a lie, wasn’t it, because it’s not possible that you were married then but only having a wedding now. I mean, not unless time travel is possible.” She laughed uproariously, not noticing that no one really joined in.

“When you meet the right one you just know,” the Doctor said simple, knowing that Donna would understand. “She might not have been my wife in actuality back then but she was in spirit. For me that was pretty much the same thing.”

“So you didn’t do it to you know, let me down easy,” Donna asked in a low tone.

“Of course not,” the Doctor put a horrified look on. “Any man would be lucky to have you Donna Noble.”

“I only need one,” she gave Lee a meaningful look. He blushed but returned it – good on him.

“How is it you’re here tonight Donna?” River broke in to ask, saving the Doctor from having to find out himself.

“Amy and I worked for the same temp agency for a while,” Donna replied. “Of course Amy didn’t stay but we hit it off so well we’ve been friends ever since. When she asked me to come to her friend’s wedding I had no idea I’d already met the groom.”

“Small world,” the Doctor murmured, impressed with Amy’s ingenuity. She’d known the story and she’d guessed that he’d want to assure himself everything with Donna really was going to be all right. She was the one companion of his he’d felt the most guilty about, because he’d had to take all her experiences away and even that wasn’t enough to remove her from harm completely. It did his conscience wonders to see that Donna really was happier now – content like she hadn’t been even when she’d been travelling with him.

“I know, right?” Donna laughed. “Oh my, we’ve been totally hogging your attention. I’m sure there are lots of other people here you’d rather be talking to.”

“Can’t think of one,” the Doctor replied honestly.

“Get away, you charmer!” Donna shot River a woman to woman look. “Hold on to this one,” she advised with a chuckle.

“Oh believe me, I intend to,” River promised.

“I can’t believe how nice it is to see you again,” Donna admitted so openly. “I mean, we only met that one time but I feel like I’ve known you for ages.”

“I get that a lot,” the Doctor teased. He was happy Donna was doing well, but if he were being honest, a little sad as well. They’d had such great times together but he could never share those memories, never reminisce with her. Did it make him selfish that he wanted Donna to truly remember him?

Donna laughed, staying for a short while longer before she reluctantly let Lee drag her away.

“That was nice of Amy,” the Doctor commented when she was gone.

“Yes,” River agreed. “I’ve already spoken to her but I think it’s your turn. You’ve left too much unsaid my love.”

“I know,” he sighed. “Do you think they’re happy here, living their lives?”

“I think they will be,” River replied. “You’re a tough act to follow.”

“Not just me,” he insisted. “All of time and space … sexy fish vampires and blowing stuff up. That’d be hard for anything to beat.” He hesitated for a moment. “Was it wrong, to take her with me for all that time?”

“Should we all be wary of that perfect day because no other day after can be its equal?” River asked in return. “Should we never strive to reach the pinnacle because it can only ever be downhill on the other side? Should we save our best day for our last instead of keeping it close to our hearts to enjoy in memories for as many days as we can?”

“Ah, River. Who made you so wise?” the Doctor touched a hand to her cheek, captivated by her beauty and her brain and as always by her heart.

“She did,” River said simply.

It was only later that the Doctor thought to wonder which she River meant – the TARDIS or her mother, Amelia Pond.

* * *

“So, how was your first Earth wedding?” Amy threw herself down in the empty chair River had just vacated. The Doctor’s wife twice over now was dancing with her father in the small area the Pond’s had created for that purpose. The older guests had already gone home leaving only a small group left to continue celebrating. It was nice and he’d certainly enjoyed the dancing but it was even nicer to just sit down and collect his thoughts for a few moments.

“Better than my expectations,” he admitted freely.

“Just how many times have you left a bride at the altar?” Amy asked curiously.

“None that counted,” he insisted. “Usually it was all in fun. Just so we’re clear, I never asked any of them to marry me. Some of them were actually quite frightening in their pursuit. You really should be feeling sorry for me.”

“The Doctor, so unaware of his charms,” Amy laughed softly.

“Is that really how you see me?” he asked, saddened.

“I used to,” she admitted, “but no, that’s not how I see you, not now that I really know you.”

“Good, because I’m not the best catch, not by any means – don’t tell River I said that because we don’t want her coming to her senses, now do we?”

“I think you’re safe there,” Amy said gently. ”And you underestimate yourself. You took Donna’s memories away from her and yet she still remembers something – enough that she felt dissatisfied with her life before she met Lee.”

“And you, do you feel dissatisfied with your life?” he had to ask.

“Sometimes,” Amy sighed. “It’s hard to contain yourself to one planet and one timeline when you’ve had all of space and time as your playground.”

“Oh Amy … Amelia Pond. I’m so sorry,” the Doctor apologised insistently.

“Don’t,” Amy put her hand over his. “You’ve got nothing to apologise for, you hear? Yes, the contrast isn’t the best, but only because I know what’s out there. I wouldn’t give back that knowledge for anything. I wouldn’t give back Rory either – I know how much I love his stupid face now but I don’t know if I’d have realised, staying here and just living my life. It’s more than likely I’d have messed it up and never known just what I’d missed out on.”

“And yet you’re not happy,” the Doctor commented. “I wish there was something I could do to help you adjust.”

“I can’t have more children,” Amy swallowed, her eyes shimmering as she forced back tears. “Rory and I are fine now but it tested us. I just need time to accept it, you know?”

“I know,” the Doctor replied. “I can take you anywhere, any when, to see if there’s a way to undo what Madam Kovarian did to you. How about the Sisters? They helped River,” he added, going on to fill Amy in on the last of the damage they’d discovered had been done.

“The Sisters?” Amy pondered. “I don’t want to get my hopes up – or Rory’s either – but if they couldn’t do anything then I’d know for sure, right?”

“You would,” the Doctor agreed. The Sisters were the best there was. If they didn’t have the expertise then no one would.

“And then we’d deal with it,” Amy concluded. She smiled. “Then yes, I’d like to go and see the Sisters.”

“We’ll go tomorrow,” the Doctor promised, relieved that there was finally something he could do to help.

They sat together in companionable silence, watching Rory and River dancing and laughing together. It was almost like old time, two friends with very few cares, experiencing life as it moved right in front of them.

“She died, didn’t she?” Amy asked suddenly.

The Doctor didn’t pretend he didn’t understand what she meant. “Yes,” he admitted, his voice stark.

“Tell me,” Amy insisted.

“It was the day I met her – her last day, my first,” the Doctor began. “I didn’t know her Amy but she knew me. It wasn’t even me – not this me,” he gestured to himself, “but the way she behaved, I couldn’t doubt that in the future she had an important place in my life.”

“She knew your name,” Amy smiled.

“Yes and she scared the pants off me by proving it. I don’t think I’ve ever been that shocked.”

“What happened?”

“The Vashta Nerada, at The Library,” the Doctor revealed.

“The Shadows?” Amy gasped.

“They came at us in force. I was able to strike a deal but in order for us to get everybody off that planet one of us needed to hook up to the database. There wasn’t enough memory.”

“She knocked you out, didn’t she?” Amy laughed.

“She really is your daughter,” the Doctor smiled before his expression turned serious again. “You would have been so proud Amy. She took my place with so much certainty – never a moment’s hesitation, no doubts. She was brilliant … and then she was just gone.”

“But you saved her,” Amy reminded him.

“You’d think so,” he shook his head. “In that version of events my future self sent her there with my sonic screwdriver and the hope the younger version of me would know what to do at the end. It seems the best I could come up with was to save her in a virtual world – she’d survive but only there, never in reality.”

“Oh,” Amy frowned. “I don’t think she’d have liked that.”

“Thank you!” the Doctor hugged her quickly before continuing the story. “I didn’t think so either, but that wasn’t the reason I went so much further this time. It was all for me Amy. She would have been locked away from us forever. I don’t think I’d have cared even if I had proof that River was happy in that pretend world. I wasn’t going to be happy without her. I just … I couldn’t let that happen.”

“You might have saved her for your own selfish reasons,” Amy smiled when he gave her a pained look, “but you saved her for us in the process. Thank you,” she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for saving my only child.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So that’s why we went to The Library, and then to the other one? So you could practice on those shadow creatures?” Amy asked curiously.

“I needed a way to hold them off. You see, River forbade me rewriting time and taking her place because it would mean she’d never meet me – none of her memories of me would happen. I had to save her without altering any of those events and the only way I could do that was from inside the systems there.”

“Was she mad?”

“Yeah, a little .. well, no, it was a lot, at first,” the Doctor admitted. “Until I reminded her of all the crazy things she’d done to save me. I think we’re about even now.”

“You make her happy,” Amy smiled as Rory dipped River and then brought her back up, both laughing madly. “She makes you happy.”

“She does,” the Doctor agreed. “I’ll bring her to visit more often,” he promised suddenly.

“Yes you will,” Amy replied sternly.

“So, do I get to call you Mum now?” he asked a few moments later.

“Not unless you’re sick of that look and want a new one,” Amy replied sweetly.

“Are you putting the fear into my husband?” River returned, wrapping her arms around him from behind and leaning down to kiss his cheek. “Because if so I’m going to have to do something. I quite like him just the way he is.”

“You can’t seriously like that bow tie? And the tweed? Nobody likes tweed.” Amy teased back.

“I’ll have you know this is infinity tweed,” the Doctor said. “Insult away – I shall be impervious to all your petty verbal barbs.”

“Infinity tweed?” Rory queried.

“It’s the same as regular tweed but with the word infinity in front of it,” River explained.

“Hey, don’t give away all my secrets,” the Doctor protested.

“They’re _our_ secret now,” River reminded him.

“That they are,” the Doctor grinned. “Shall we fill your parents in on the plans for our next wedding?”

“Next wedding?” Amy honed in immediately. “What wedding? River, is there something you’re not telling me?”

“No, unless you count a rundown on all the ways I’m going to make your son-in-law pay for that,” River narrowed her eyes at her husband warningly.

“Right, so maybe we’ll hold off on those plans for now,” the Doctor said evasively. “Still plenty of time for that. I think it’s time we retired for the night Mrs Doctor. We have places to go, people to see, tomorrow.” 

“The Sisters,” Amy said. “I’ll tell you about it tomorrow,” she added.

River smiled. “I’ll look forward to that,” she put a hand over Amy’s. “Thank you for tonight mother, father.”

“Thanks for going along with it,” Amy replied. “I know it wasn’t your idea or even something you wanted.”

“There were parts that were very appealing,” River smiled slyly at the Doctor.

“I’m not even going to ask which parts they would be,” Amy laughed when the Doctor shifted awkwardly in his chair. “Look at you, getting all embarrassed. Anyone would think you were as young as you look.”

The Doctor decided enough was enough – once Amy and River got going they’d skewer him with their earthy wit and total lack of regard for his dignity. Jumping to his feet he grabbed his wife, showing off his Time Lord enhanced strength as he lifted her over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold, effortlessly containing her attempts to break free.

“Amy, Rory, as usual, an excellent visit,” he announced unhurriedly as though he didn’t have a struggling woman in his arms. “We’ll see you soon – much sooner this time, I promise.”

Rory nodded, his expression pained as he tried not to think about what the Doctor and his daughter were in all likelihood about to do.

“Don’t enjoy your wedding night too much!” Amy shouted after them, not a single bone of restraint in her body.

“Oh God, don’t put that image in my head,” Rory protested, putting his hands over his eyes as if that would help.

“Oh, pipe down,” she smacked his shoulder lightly. “There’s no point in pretending we don’t know what they get up to out there together. Especially since we got up to the very same thing when we lived in the TARDIS.”

“When is everybody leaving,” Rory was suddenly filled with the intent of showing his wife that you didn’t need a magic box that was bigger on the inside than on the outside to get up to mischief.

Amy read him like the open book he was with her. “Oi you lot,” she called out. “You’re all welcome to stay as long as you like. I need to take my husband away and remind him of why he married me.” She grabbed Rory’s hand and tugged insistently, ignoring his blushes and the laughter around them. 

It wasn’t adventures in all of time and space but it was hers and it was special. With any luck the Sisters would be able to help them add to what was theirs, and make it even more special.

* * *

“Put me down you clumsy oaf,” River demanded, smacking at him wherever she could reached which seemed mostly to be his arse. She packed quite the punch so it was lucky he could withstand a great deal of punishment without outward damage.

“Clumsy oaf?” he repeated incredulously as he clicked his fingers at the TARDIS door, walking swiftly inside. “I was going to let you go but for that,” he added, keeping hold of her as he made his way around the console, setting the time machine in motion. Once they were on their way again he slowly lowered River until her feet touched the ground in front of him, crowding her into the railing with his arms so she couldn’t escape. They were very close – he could see the angry humour in her eyes and hoped she’d see the serious intent in his.

“My, aren’t we all macho and serious all of a sudden,” River almost purred. “I like it.”

“That’s good,” he eyed her for a moment, plotting his next course of action and how best to achieve what he wanted. “It occurs to me, wife, that alignment is something not to be scoffed at.”

“Alignment,” River shifted until she had then ‘lined up’ in the physical sense very well indeed. He gulped and she smiled, well pleased with herself as she pushed up against him. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

“Say yes,” he commanded abruptly.

“Yes?” she frowned, confused.

“Good enough,” the Doctor put his hands on her shoulders and pressed his forehead firmly to hers. His mind invaded hers, meeting no resistance as he drew her along with him. They remained as they were physically but that was background to the world around them that seemed just as real.

“Are we …?” she looked around the room they were in curiously.

“This was my home, on Gallifrey,” he offered, glancing around himself. He’d taken her to his memories of where he’d lived, specifically his bedroom as he’d been growing up. It was a time full of possibilities and frustrations as he’d joined the Prydonian chapter and become increasing disenchanted with Rassilon’s rule. The clutter reflected the narrowness of his concerns back then. If he’d had someone like River here when he’d been that age he’d have probably hidden in the closet because hell, he’d have had no idea what to do with her. “We’re not here for a tour,” he admitted, returning his attention to her.

“Oh,” River smiled slyly, as she looked behind him to where his bed dominated the middle of the room. “Are you going to ravish me then?”

“I was thinking about alignment and I realised something. Our first wedding was traditional to Gallifrey but our wedding night, when we eventually got around to it, was very much not,” he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her as he bent his head to rest against her neck.

“And now you want to do the reverse?” River shivered as he pressed kisses to her neck.

“It would be fitting,” he shifted to look down at her, “that is, if you’re willing.”

“Oh sweetie, I’m always willing when it comes to you,” River laughed throatily.

“You are, for which I think you dearly,” the Doctor ran his hands up and down her back, pulling her as close to him as they could get.

“So tell me, my love, how a Gallifreyan wedding night differs from our last one,” she invited.

“Well, they don’t, as such, differ all that much,” he admitted, “aside from all of this taking place telepathically of course.”

“Will I get the same rush I did when you proposed?” River was suddenly keenly interested in the proceedings.

The Doctor laughed. “Yes, although it should be quite a bit more powerful.”

“Then have at me Doctor,” she invited eagerly.

“Oh River, my bad, bad girl,” he praised. Done with words for the time being he kissed her deeply even as he danced them slowly across the room. When his legs hit the bed he let himself fall, taking her with him to land gently on top of him.

“This brings back memories,” she teased, smiling down at him.

“Ah, the day of the Byzantium,” he reminisced. “I think I’d fooled myself into believing The Library was some kind of aberration, that I’d never see you again.”

“Until you opened your door just in time to catch me,” River replied.

“Even then I liked it all a little too much,” he admitted. “Everything about you was a scary prospect River but there was always a part of me that wanted what you represented.”

“I know,” River agreed. “It was a shock for me, to see you so soon after your regeneration. So young and _so_ suspicious.”

“We’re Gallifreyan my dear,” he reminded her. “Suspicion … no, _paranoia_ , is our religion.”

She laughed. “Not any more, my love,” she reminded him that they were all that remained of Gallifrey and partners in every sense of the word now. “Now, much as I love to talk, I think you promised me a ravishing. It’s time to pay up.”

“I am a man of my word,” he murmured, rolling suddenly until she was under him. It was true that everything inside the telepathic link of two Gallifreyans felt as real as the real world but inside that construct there was a freedom and openness that couldn’t be achieved so easily in reality. He could get rid of the barriers between them with mental ease instead of clumsy fumbling, until they were bared to each other. They were literally sharing their minds and it didn’t get any more intimate than that. It meant that he knew what she wanted and he understood how to give it to her. Of course that freedom and openness also meant that she saw too easily how to drive him crazy and seemed to take great delight in doing so.

When they came together it was more powerful than he’d expected – what could only be described as a mental orgasm of epic proportions ripped through them both with such force that he lost himself completely, unable to hold on to their telepathic link.

When he came back to himself he had River pressed up against the wall beside the console, his hands still on her shoulders, his weight pressing into her, both of them panting like they’d just run a marathon. Without the wall for support he had no doubt they’d have both ended up on the floor.

River was so quiet at first he thought maybe it had been too much for her. Then she looked up at him and her face was such a picture of contentment and love, sexy as hell, and he wished he had the talent of Vincent so he could capture the moment for all time.

“Well, I hope that’s not something we’ll be saving just for the special occasions,” she announced, her voice all rough and deep. “Sweetie, I’d marry you every day if that’s the way it would end.”

“Plenty of other planets out there,” he reminded her, laughing weakly. “Just give me a moment to catch my breath.”

She laughed too, reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck. “All that and neither of us with a stitch of clothing out of place. Aren’t we clever?” she rested her head against his chest for a moment and then looked up at him again. “Perhaps you should kiss me now … before the effects wear off.”

He knew what she meant. The link was broken but the echo was still there – he was feeling his own returning interest along with hers. He hadn’t been joking though – he might be a Time Lord with increased stamina and strength and all the rest of it, but still he needed some recovery time.

“Bedroom,” he insisted, making himself move away from her long enough to gather her under his arm and steer them towards the corridor. When they got there he gratefully collapsed onto its soft surface, tugging River down beside him and sighing with contentment.

They remained like that for a few moments before he decided rest was overrated, rolling so that he could loom over his wife.

“So,” he murmured intently.

“So,” she returned teasingly.

“These wedding nights are a lot more beneficial than I would have guessed. If I’d known what I was missing …,” he trailed off teasingly, alluding to his previous escapes in that area.

“Don’t even think about it Sweetie,” River warned. “I still have my gun and I know how to use it.”

“Oh I _know_ ,” he returned, “and I have to say you look very fetching when doing so.”

She laughed, reaching up to tug at his bow tie. He let her claim it and his tweed too, enjoying her attentions until she had his shirt off and her hands were running up his chest. His hearts were pumping and he was all for evening up their state of undress when the truth dawned on him. He really _did_ want to marry her over and over again. Wedding nights were seriously cool. How could he only be discovering that fact now?

“I wasn’t joking about Riven Five,” he muttered, resting his forehead against hers.

“Oh shut up and kiss me you fool,” River replied, laughing.

**The End**


End file.
